Alt-Mario Kart 1992: It Begins...

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Rob Dylan
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 1992: It Begins...

Post by Rob Dylan »

You-Gee-Eee-Day wrote:Toad didn't really know what to make of the situation. Despite being on the top of the podium he was still a head shorter than Donkey Kong on the next step down. But there he was -- a Cup winner. Someone handed him a comically large cup, and he blinked into the crowd, not really able to take it all in.

For a moment, a moment that stretched for as long as those long, cold nights had, he was back at the front. The roar of the crowd drifted into the roar of the shells (both red and green) detonating so quickly they became an endless, non-stop growl, like the devil himself reaching up from the bowels of hell, as the shell craters dug ever deeper down and drove them all into the fire. The endless explosions were more than just a roar, they were an inferno. The flames never stopped. They were already burning. The devil had nowhere to go, he was already there.

Face to face with other Toads in secret places, feeling the chill... that felt like only moments ago. Yet here he was, on top of the podium. As a Lakitu lowered down closely in front of him, camera rolling, it suddenly occurred to him that those toads down there weren't just cheering - they were cheering for him. A toad, one of the poor, rotten souls who had been thrown away like so much old spaghetti, had just won a cup.

For the first time, in what felt like a very long time, Toad found a reason to smile.
Narrator: Toad woke up to find that, while leading the championship following the Flower Cup, had in fact not won the Cup itself :D

Anyway, onto the Star Cup, and the results are in! It was an incredible Cup for BMW and the Koopas. Somehow that ever-improving BMW engine, combined with the grippy Booridgestones, is doing wonders for both Kong Jr. and King Bowser. Between them they got three poles in the four races, and Bowser won no less than THREE races. A much-needed improvement following a Flower Cup in which he scored zero points. Here it was his partner entrant D.K. Jr., the winner of the Flower Cup, who had a disastrous event this time around. What a reversal of fortunes.

Outside of those two, Mario had four consecutive retirements and is now last in the championship. The early season form of both Peach and Yoshi appears to be faltering, as they fall down the order. Luigi had an amazing cup, jumping up to 3rd in the championship despite not winning a race all season yet. Toad, ever consistent, won a race and took a second to keep a very secure 1st place in the championship. He must have one hand on that trophy going into the Special Cup.

Reject of the Cup probably has to go to Mario for spending the entirety of his home race behind the camera car, before retiring of his own accord:
Image

If not Mario, then it must go to Bowser himself for losing a probable pole at Koopa Beach doing his own little Mansell moment:

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Standings after the Star Cup:

Image



There is only one Cup to go, and rumours that have been abounding around the paddock have turned out to be 100% true! We have a new entrant arriving already, and his name is John Cena Wario! Dom is going to be taking over the (possibly, who knows) legendary career of Waaaahhhrio, who will jump into his own SMK/92 as a customer car of the Marioserati/Pirelluigi runners. He will be debuting at the Special Cup. Who knows, he may even turn the tide of the championship :shock:

Until next time :dance:
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
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This Could Be You
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 1992: It Begins...

Post by This Could Be You »

Equipe Luigier will spend three attribute points on qualifying, and one on setup please
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Frogfoot9013
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 1992: It Begins...

Post by Frogfoot9013 »

Scuderia Mario will spend:
4 points on grip
4 points on setup
4 points on engine
4 points on tyres
James Hunt, commentating on the 1991 German Grand Prix wrote:The Benettons looking very smart together on the track, mostly because they're both going so slowly.
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Rob Dylan
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 1992: It Begins...

Post by Rob Dylan »

In a desperate attempt to bring some repute back to his campaign, Mario made extravagant and impossible claims about the amount of upgrades he had made going into the Special Cup. The stewards, led by Mario himself, deemed the upgrades illegal. Mario retorted proudly that he had not broken any rules, as the upgrades had never actually taken place. Thus, Mario went into the season finale with the worst chassis on the grid.

1992 Special Cup

And indeed it was special. The unthinkable happened. Toad, who was so consistently strong all season, had one hand on the trophy going into the final quarter. However, four consecutive retirements choked those championship hopes away rather quickly. Bowser, now the favourite, scored points in every round, but indeed it was not the Koopa King who succeeded, but instead Luigi Mario, who equalled Bowser's Cup points record of 27 points to jump from third to first come season end. It was a magnificent display, as up until Ghost Valley 3, Luigi was yet to score a win.

Elsewhere, Mario finished the second half of the season with eight consecutive retirements. Wario Wario (whose surname may be retconned to Jumpman for the lols) unrejectified on debut and finished on the podium at Rainbow Road, a notoriously difficult circuit. Koopa Troopa had many opportunities to take a win, but alas failed to do so - other than Wario, Koopa is now the only driver not to have won.

Image

- Reject of the Year: Mario Mario for finishing last in his own namesake series. Rumour abounds in the media that he only allowed Wario to enter so that he would technically only be second-last come season-end.
- Infinite Improbability Drive of the Year: it has to be Luigi. Nobody expected that he would have such a strong end to the season and win comfortably like that.
- Deadbeat Teammate of the Year: again, Mario.
- The "Charles Leclerc" award for lots of poles and no wins: Koopa Troopa.
- The "Giancarlo Fisichella" award: Peach, for scoring 15 of her 23 points in the first three races.
- The "Robert Kubica" award: Wario Wario (Jumpman) for scoring a podium after a late-season entry.
- The "Nick Heidfeld" award for consistency: Toad Toadstool for being the highest placed finisher to not win a single cup.
- The "Pastor Maldonado" award: Bowser Koopa for crashing just as often as winning.
- The "late-stage Vettel" award: Yoshi Munchakoopas, for being incredibly cryptic as to whether he's doing well or badly
- The "1989 Berger" award: DK Jr, for apparently only being able to finish with podiums, but more often than not just crashing.



Thank you so much for joining for 1992. The politics, drama and intrigue shall continue into the next season. Join us again for that :dance:
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
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