2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thread

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Ataxia
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2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thread

Post by Ataxia »

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Will Felipe Massa become the first F1 driver to three-tire? Find out very soon...

...also it's the Brazilian Grand Prix this weekend. Everyone's favourite faux-finale event has welcomed plenty of interesting races over the years, and it's a real fan favourite. Even I like it, and I hate everything.

How can anyone forget Massa's stirring win in 2006, bedecked in Brazilian-flag overalls? Or Kimi Raikkonen's unlikely title after Lewis Hamilton pressed the wrong button in 2007? Or Hamilton's Glock-based retribution in '08? Or another Button-affected title in '09? Or...whatever happened in 2010? You know the one.

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Now, HOW can I forget this?

Of course, with Massa's impending second retirement, it means that the F1 grid will go without a Brazilian for the first time since Jacques Villeneuve decided to shave it all off. From a nation which has produced the likes of Ayrton Senna, Emerson Fittipaldi, Nelson Piquet, Rubens Barrichello and Tarso Marques, this is a poor return.

Next in the pipeline may well be Sergio Sette Camara - the financially-gifted racer currently plies his trade in F2 having been binned last year by Red Bull's junior program. Someone should really show Dr. Marko the benefits of recycling.

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SERGIO, SERGIO, SERGIO SETTE CAMARA DO BRASILLLLLL *ba ba baaaaa ba ba baaaaa*

A "fun" Brazilian GP-themed fact: Rubens Barrichello failed to finish any of his home races between 1994 and 2004. You can have that one, Klon.

So, there's your guide to the Brazilian Grand Prix. With wider cars, this is...probably not going to be a classic.
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by WeirdKerr »

1969 was the last time there was no Brazilians on the grid.....
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by dr-baker »

WeirdKerr wrote:1969 was the last time there was no Brazilians on the grid.....

Wait, what? How do you know at least one driver on the grid has had a Brazilian since 1969?!?!

What's a Brazilian? Is it a type of nut?
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by dinizintheoven »

Ataxia, doing an impression of a Brazilian football commentator wrote:SERGIO, SERGIO, SERGIO SETTE CAMARA DO BRASIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLL *ba ba baaaaa ba ba baaaaa*

Fixed, heavily. They have lungs like hot air balloons.
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by WeirdKerr »

dr-baker wrote:
WeirdKerr wrote:1969 was the last time there was no Brazilians on the grid.....

Wait, what? How do you know at least one driver on the grid has had a Brazilian since 1969?!?!

What's a Brazilian? Is it a type of nut?


:facepalm:
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by dr-baker »

WeirdKerr wrote: :facepalm:

You know what? That is actually how I felt as I was typing it. And yet I posted anyway.
watka wrote:I find it amusing that whilst you're one of the more openly Christian guys here, you are still first and foremost associated with an eye for the ladies!
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by Londoner »



To quote Jim Ross, this is gonna get bowling shoe ugly in a hurry.
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by AdrianBelmonte_ »

Everyone knows which engines Toro Rosso sould have if Renault leaves them with no engines for Abu Dhabi

MAKE IT POSSIBLE!

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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by Enforcer »

You couldn't have done that a few times when it actually mattered, Lewis?
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by Fetzie »

So Lewis now takes a couple of engine penalties to put a brand new engine and gearbox in the car, and then does the last two races in quali spec?
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by Rob Dylan »

Holy moly, what on earth happened here? I knew the relationship with Red Bull and Renault wasn't great, but how the hell did it escalate to this degree so quickly!? Not that I'm not welcoming the madness - this is exactly what I crave in F1!
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by mario »

Rob Dylan wrote:Holy moly, what on earth happened here? I knew the relationship with Red Bull and Renault wasn't great, but how the hell did it escalate to this degree so quickly!? Not that I'm not welcoming the madness - this is exactly what I crave in F1!

It is utterly bizarre that things should have ended up getting so fractious so quickly - as others have quipped, when you see Helmut Marko being the voice of reason and defending Renault when a Red Bull backed team is criticising them, you know that something truly strange is going on.
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by Barbazza »

I look forward to Christian Horner's take on this tomorrow when we get to hear him yet again 'live from the pit wall'. Quite why Sky and C4 are incapable of talking to any of the other team principals occasionally instead of disappearing up that prick's backside is a complete mystery.

Lewis's bizarre shunt reminded me of when his idol Senna would win championships and then routinely make lazy mistakes after it was all sewn up. Perhaps it's his tribute.

Hoping for rain tomorrow and an Alonso win (!)
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by pasta_maldonado »

Barbazza wrote:I look forward to Christian Horner's take on this tomorrow when we get to hear him yet again 'live from the pit wall'. Quite why Sky and C4 are incapable of talking to any of the other team principals occasionally instead of disappearing up that prick's backside is a complete mystery.

Alternatively, maybe none of the other team principals want to be at the beck and call of the commentary tean whilst they're overseeing the race?

Although saying that, didn't Otmar Szafnauer do one for Sky a few races back?
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by dr-baker »

pasta_maldonado wrote:
Barbazza wrote:I look forward to Christian Horner's take on this tomorrow when we get to hear him yet again 'live from the pit wall'. Quite why Sky and C4 are incapable of talking to any of the other team principals occasionally instead of disappearing up that prick's backside is a complete mystery.

Alternatively, maybe none of the other team principals want to be at the beck and call of the commentary tean whilst they're overseeing the race?

Although saying that, didn't Otmar Szafnauer do one for Sky a few races back?

I feel sure Paul Stoddart would do it if he were still running a team...
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by DemocalypseNow »

dr-baker wrote:
pasta_maldonado wrote:Alternatively, maybe none of the other team principals want to be at the beck and call of the commentary tean whilst they're overseeing the race?

Although saying that, didn't Otmar Szafnauer do one for Sky a few races back?

I feel sure Paul Stoddart would do it if he were still running a team...

It would keep the bloke in VT on his toes with the censor button though...
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by Londoner »

So after the widely-publicised news that some Mercedes personnel were held at gunpoint leaving the circuit on Friday evening, Sauber personnel were apparently targeted last night. :|



I don't know whether such attacks have increased in the last few years, or if they're just more publicised, but this has been a worrying weekend so far. Certainly some commentators have been questioning whether Brazil should stay on the calendar.
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by mario »

East Londoner wrote:So after the widely-publicised news that some Mercedes personnel were held at gunpoint leaving the circuit on Friday evening, Sauber personnel were apparently targeted last night. :|



I don't know whether such attacks have increased in the last few years, or if they're just more publicised, but this has been a worrying weekend so far. Certainly some commentators have been questioning whether Brazil should stay on the calendar.

Part of it might be better publicity, but there does seem to have been an upsurge in attacks on drivers and mechanics in recent years.

Back in 2007, a number of Toyota mechanics had a similar experience when gunmen tried to hijack their car, and in 2010 there was an attempt to hijack Button's car by gunmen as well: Murray Walker has also recounted that armed thieves also once tried to rob him in the past. Those are some of the more violent incidents, but thefts seem to be fairly common as well: I have a memory that, a number of years ago, Rosberg had all of his luggage stolen whilst it was being transported from the airport to his hotel.

It is perhaps worse this year given that the crackdown on the favelas (I believe Interlagos borders on a favela) that there had been during the Olympics has passed, and government instability combined with falling incomes seems to have exacerbated the problem.
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by IceG »

mario wrote:
I believe Interlagos borders on a favela


Yup. At the intro to the qualifying last night, the camera helicopter flew over some shoeless kids playing football amongst some run-down houses as it approached the track. The contrast between hopeless poverty and pointless, self-indulgent excess could hardly have been more poignant.
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by Barbazza »

pasta_maldonado wrote:Alternatively, maybe none of the other team principals want to be at the beck and call of the commentary tean whilst they're overseeing the race?

Although saying that, didn't Otmar Szafnauer do one for Sky a few races back?


Ah, I've only just got Sky Sports back so must have missed that if so. You may be right about them being too busy but I'm sure we used to get Rob Smedley & Eric Boullier semi-regularly at least.
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by Benetton »

Wrong flag Felipe! LOL.
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by Barbazza »

Was that Jackie Stewart trying to upstage Felipe just now? No surprise from that classless little shite.
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Re: 2017 Felipe Massa's Retirement Grand Prix version 2 Thre

Post by mario »

IceG wrote:
mario wrote:
I believe Interlagos borders on a favela


Yup. At the intro to the qualifying last night, the camera helicopter flew over some shoeless kids playing football amongst some run-down houses as it approached the track. The contrast between hopeless poverty and pointless, self-indulgent excess could hardly have been more poignant.

And we got further reminders of that as there have been several more reports of attempted robberies on staff - the BBC are reporting that armed robbers attempted to first hijack a car containing safety delegates from the FIA then, when the attack failed due to the car's armour, they tried to attack the car behind which contained mechanics from Williams (which was only foiled because the traffic lights changed to green and they could get out of there).

To make matters worse, a car taking mechanics from Pirelli away from the circuit was also attacked in a separate incident - all in all, there have been at least five recorded attacks on staff going to the circuit, and several of those occurred even after the police presence was beefed up around the circuit.
Martin Brundle, on watching a replay of Grosjean spinning:
"The problem with Grosjean is that he want to take a look back at the corner he's just exited"
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