The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

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The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by Londoner »

As in about 40 minutes time, England are about to begin their 5-0 whitewash over Australia for the Ashes :twisted:, I think it's time for a cricket thread. Only problem is, I can't think of a witty title for the thread.

But yeah, it doesn't look good for the Aussies so far. But then again, England could end up chucking it away like we did in the second test of the 2006-2007 Ashes tour, which is still a possibility. :|
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Re: The Cricket Thread

Post by dinizintheoven »

Is there a racing driver who's had the same name as a cricketer? Cheating, maybe, but it'd put it into line with the other threads.

Either that or name it after Malcolm Marshall, seeing as motorsport wouldn't work without marshalls. Or even Curtly "talk to no man" Ambrose, the cricketing equivalent of Kimi Räikkönen.
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by Londoner »

England are 186-6 at teatime. Bathplug. :x
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by Aerospeed »

This and rugby are two sports which I will never understand even if someone simplifies it to one-syllable words :?
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by pasta_maldonado »

Aerospeed [JerMcC] wrote:This and rugby are two sports which I will never understand even if someone simplifies it to one-syllable words :?

Rugby? Rugby is far easier to understand than Handegg, where the whole team gets subbed when the other team gets the ball..... :?

Admittedly, not being American, American sports are confusing to me.
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by UncreativeUsername37 »

so 14 wickets down and it's only the first day... wtb is going on
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by HawkAussie »

It must be a reject pitch then
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by johnnyCarwash »

Matt121 wrote:It must be a reject pitch then


Just really overcast yesterday meaning that the seamers gave batsmen problems helped by some mindless batting from us english. Currently the weather is sunny so should see less wickets and more runs.. why on earth did Cook decide to bat first when clearly now it's batting weather, not yesterday :evil: ...
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by TomWazzleshaw »

johnnyCarwash wrote:
Matt121 wrote:It must be a reject pitch then


Just really overcast yesterday meaning that the seamers gave batsmen problems helped by some mindless batting from us english. Currently the weather is sunny so should see less wickets and more runs.. why on earth did Cook decide to bat first when clearly now it's batting weather, not yesterday :evil: ...


That's assuming the Australian batting lineup is any good. Which it isn't 90% of the time :|
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by the Masked Lapwing »

Wizzie wrote:
johnnyCarwash wrote:
Matt121 wrote:It must be a reject pitch then


Just really overcast yesterday meaning that the seamers gave batsmen problems helped by some mindless batting from us english. Currently the weather is sunny so should see less wickets and more runs.. why on earth did Cook decide to bat first when clearly now it's batting weather, not yesterday :evil: ...


That's assuming the Australian batting lineup is any good. Which it isn't 90% of the time :|


Well, we're already 9-for, so we're clearly in that 90% at the moment.
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by HawkAussie »

I think I know who will get the reject of the match award.
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by mario »

Wizzie wrote:
johnnyCarwash wrote:
Matt121 wrote:It must be a reject pitch then


Just really overcast yesterday meaning that the seamers gave batsmen problems helped by some mindless batting from us english. Currently the weather is sunny so should see less wickets and more runs.. why on earth did Cook decide to bat first when clearly now it's batting weather, not yesterday :evil: ...


That's assuming the Australian batting lineup is any good. Which it isn't 90% of the time :|

the Masked Lapwing wrote:Well, we're already 9-for, so we're clearly in that 90% at the moment.

Well, it looks like Agar has been keeping something special in reserve - he's just broken a 111 year old record for the highest first innings score for a number 11 batsman (50 and counting) and become the first ever No. 11 batsman to reach a half century on his debut. Did somebody in the Australian dressing room make a mistake when drawing up the batting order?
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by TomWazzleshaw »

Ashton Agar has single-handedly saved the Aussies, and put us in a position we frankly don't deserve to be in.
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by Londoner »

Controversy reigns supreme with Stuart Broad. Edged a ball, got caught, but somehow the umpires missed it, and as the Aussies had used all their reviews up, he stays in. :D

And today has proved that the complete f***ing muppet that is Piers Morgan hasn't got a bloody clue about cricket, immediately bleating on Twitter that Broad was cheating by not walking away after that incident. He was well within his rights to stay at the crease, and who the hell walks off when the umpire has given them not out? :roll: :evil:
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by RonDenisDeletraz »

East Londoner wrote:Controversy reigns supreme with Stuart Broad. Edged a ball, got caught, but somehow the umpires missed it, and as the Aussies had used all their reviews up, he stays in. :D

And today has proved that the complete f***ing muppet that is Piers Morgan hasn't got a bloody clue about cricket, immediately bleating on Twitter that Broad was cheating by not walking away after that incident. He was well within his rights to stay at the crease, and who the hell walks off when the umpire has given them not out? :roll: :evil:


Adam Gilchrist did.

Although I do think Piers Morgan is an idiot, mainly because of his arguments with Jeremy Clarkson.
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

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eurobrun wrote:
East Londoner wrote:Controversy reigns supreme with Stuart Broad. Edged a ball, got caught, but somehow the umpires missed it, and as the Aussies had used all their reviews up, he stays in. :D

And today has proved that the complete f***ing muppet that is Piers Morgan hasn't got a bloody clue about cricket, immediately bleating on Twitter that Broad was cheating by not walking away after that incident. He was well within his rights to stay at the crease, and who the hell walks off when the umpire has given them not out? :roll: :evil:


Adam Gilchrist did.

Although I do think Piers Morgan is an idiot, mainly because of his arguments with Jeremy Clarkson.

Piers Morgan is a bathplug prat. End of discussion. Stuart Broad does not need to walk away from the stumps until he is given out.
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by the Masked Lapwing »

Please, English people, try and justify Broad's time wasting there :lol:
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by dinizintheoven »

He thought he was playing for Manchester United.
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

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dinizintheoven wrote:He thought he was playing for Manchester United.


With the demise of Ferguson, will this mean the demise of FergieTime™ ? MoyesTime just doesn't have the same ring to it, and besides, I think he's a morally sound person.
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by Warren Hughes »

So, today was weird...
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by Londoner »

Australia are collapsing in their first innings, 85-5 now. :twisted:

Looks like they'll have to rely on Ashton Agar once again...

EDIT: It's now 91-6, as Michael Clarke gets LBW'd by Broad. :mrgreen:
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by dinizintheoven »

...113 for 9. So it's not quite a fall from grace of Brabham proportions yet, but if this series ends up 4-0 or 5-0 it'll at least be a 312T5 of a series for the Aussies. And, as I write this, there's a review that would have them all out... though it's not been given.

I wonder what must be going through Glenn McGrath's head in the commentary box? And what would he give to have the rabbit-trapped-in-the-headlights 2005 version of Ian Bell back?

EDIT: 16 minutes later, 128 all out, on the day Shane Warne was induced into the ICC Hall Of Fame. He might be thinking about coming out of retirement...
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by watka »

So far this Ashes has been very, very poor in terms of batting talent. Taking nothing away from the England bowlers and fielding, who've done their job very professionally.
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

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Bathplug! Cook and Trott have both played on...
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by Londoner »

Well done England, bunch of clots. Image

EDIT: F*** sake Pietersen. 30-3 now. :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

16 wickets have fallen today already. That's insane for a Test match.
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

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And to think we are a third of the way through England's second innings and it's the end of day 2. Crazy stuff today.
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

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East Londoner wrote:Well done England, bunch of clots. Image

EDIT: F*** sake Pietersen. 30-3 now. :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

16 wickets have fallen today already. That's insane for a Test match.

I was pretty stunned, having checked the score at lunchtime to find Australia at 40-0, to come back a few hours later and find that they had tumbled in such a spectacular fashion, with the openers for England managing a similar performance. Given that the pitch wasn't supposed to be that difficult to bat on, what on earth has been going on with both sides? Have they been slipping something stronger than water into the drinks bottles or something?
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by tzerof1 »

As a (mostly) England supporter*, I was banking on them to control this series quite handily, but it has been a shocking performance so far from both sides. England can bat far better than this, yet their top order falls apart like it's made of papier mache. Anyway, those who think Alastair Cook should be sacked from the captaincy for not enforcing the follow-on need to relax, in my view. Why shouldn't he believe his side can bat Australia out? They've made it much harder for themselves, sure, but the match is far from over. And any pitch deterioration could work in England's favour during the second Aussie innings. If Cook did decide to enforce the follow-on, the ideal situation of course, would have been to bowl the Aussies out cheaply again, and win by an innings. But, since the ideal thing seems to not be at all happening in this series, England could have, as a result found themselves, on the wrong end of a possibly deteriorating pitch, trying to chase down the Aussies total.

Point is, it's easy to say Cook should have done something, while taking into account only the most ideal situations, and either way, I think England have a pretty good chance of winning this one as well.


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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by Warren Hughes »

I think Cook was absolutely right not to enforce the follow-on. Even with the wickets that have fallen I still think we can bat them out of the game tomorrow. I fancy Root to come of age as an opener, hopefully Bresnan can stay in with him as long as possible and then we've got Bell to come afterwards who is in outstanding form. The lead could be 400-500 by the end of the day and Aussie would need a miracle even to rescue a draw.

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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

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Aerospeed [JerMcC] wrote:This and rugby are two sports which I will never understand even if someone simplifies it to one-syllable words :?


I have a very small understanding of cricket, not a great one. I just can't get into it. I wish I could, as it's the only sport where my local team's any good.
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by takagi_for_the_win »

In all honesty, I couldn't see the initial logic in not enforcing the follow on, but thinking about it now if England can get a second innings score of 200-250 (which should be well in their capability), it would leave the Aussies with a run chase of over 400, which I doubt they'll be able to do
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by the Masked Lapwing »

What's hilarious about this series is that since the series is in England, the Australian newspapers can't print results for the entire day. They do it before lunch - which means we get articles going on about how we're going to get England out for 200 just because they were 3/80-something by then :lol:
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

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the Masked Lapwing wrote:What's hilarious about this series is that since the series is in England, the Australian newspapers can't print results for the entire day. They do it before lunch - which means we get articles going on about how we're going to get England out for 200 just because they were 3/80-something by then :lol:

It is one of the dangers of being in a situation where you are having to report partway through the event - mind you, given that England were on 28-3 at one point, I can understand why the Australians might have felt fairly confident. Of course, they probably weren't expecting to then get their worst innings total since 1968 in response either - it must make for pretty uncomfortable batting when the Australians now know that they will be facing the full wrath of their national press after such a poor performance...
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by TomWazzleshaw »

mario wrote:
the Masked Lapwing wrote:What's hilarious about this series is that since the series is in England, the Australian newspapers can't print results for the entire day. They do it before lunch - which means we get articles going on about how we're going to get England out for 200 just because they were 3/80-something by then :lol:

It is one of the dangers of being in a situation where you are having to report partway through the event - mind you, given that England were on 28-3 at one point, I can understand why the Australians might have felt fairly confident. Of course, they probably weren't expecting to then get their worst innings total since 1968 in response either - it must make for pretty uncomfortable batting when the Australians now know that they will be facing the full wrath of their national press after such a poor performance...


What's new? The Australian batting lineup has been abysmal for the best part of the last year now. And the really worrying part about it is there's no immediate solution in sight...
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by AdrianSutil »

Well Bresnan and Root are doing a very good job of holding station and picking up the runs here and there. At the time of writing (2:17pm), Bresnan is on 35 off 126 and Root is 71 off 179. England on 125-3, leading by 358. I can see an England declaring by lunch-time tomorrow with a lead of around 500.
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by Londoner »

Bresnan lasted a ridiculously long time in bat considering he was the night watchman. I guess that goes to show just how poor the Aussie team is, that it's taken them until the afternoon to finally dismiss him.

All in all, decent total from Bresnan. He's actually managed to outscore every Aussie batsman in the first innings. Not bad for a night watchman. :lol:
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by Londoner »

Root finally gets his century. Well played by the lad, even if he looks like he should still be at school. 8-)
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

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East Londoner wrote:Root finally gets his century. Well played by the lad, even if he looks like he should still be at school. 8-)


Indeed. Now if England can take advantage, and stay in until or declare at lunch tomorrow, that will give the Aussies a mountain to climb, that hopefully will prove insurmountable.
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by AdrianSutil »

Still over an hour left of day 3 and England now have their lead of 500. Both Bell and Root have been super-aggressive since hitting 200 in these innings. I'm expecting a declare either just before close or inside the first hour tomorrow.
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Re: The Curtly Ambrose Cricket Thread

Post by Londoner »

333-5 at the close of day three. Root still not out, on 178. I can see England playing on for a hour tomorrow, to let Root get his double century.
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