Grand Prix Rejects

As the Rantbox was starting to look like a psychologist's clinic, I decided to create the Therapybox so forum members can share personal problems with others and seek support from them if they want to.

I'm mentally tired

Spend less time on the forum.

watka wrote:Spend less time on the forum.

Not because of this forum, obviously, but outside of it...

AdrianBelmonte_ wrote:

watka wrote:Spend less time on the forum.

Not because of this forum, obviously, but outside of it...

Only said it because I can be on the forum ridiculously late at times and need to get out of the habit.

What's going on at the moment? What keeps you up at night?

watka wrote:Only said it because I can be on the forum ridiculously late at times and need to get out of the habit.

What's going on at the moment? What keeps you up at night?

That's because I have no control over my schedule, is as likely to sleep 4 hours to sleep 23 (not kidding )

Frogfoot9013 wrote:As the Rantbox was starting to look like a psychologist's clinic, I decided to create the Therapybox...

I've got nothing to do, but hang around and get screwed up on you...

dinizintheoven wrote:

Frogfoot9013 wrote:As the Rantbox was starting to look like a psychologist's clinic, I decided to create the Therapybox...

I've got nothing to do, but hang around and get screwed up on you...

Stop it, you're killing me...

Apologies in advance if I either start withdrawing from this forum for a bit or start spamming with pointless garbage over the next few weeks as a personal distraction. It's just that this evening, I found out that my grandfather died this morning. He was 90.

dr-baker wrote:Apologies in advance if I either start withdrawing from this forum for a bit or start spamming with pointless garbage over the next few weeks as a personal distraction. It's just that this evening, I found out that my grandfather died this morning. He was 90.

*Big virtual hug*

dr-baker wrote:Apologies in advance if I either start withdrawing from this forum for a bit or start spamming with pointless garbage over the next few weeks as a personal distraction. It's just that this evening, I found out that my grandfather died this morning. He was 90.

Feel your pain buddy. Been through a difficult period myself mate (read first two lines of my sig). PM me if you want some advice, support or just a general rant...

dr-baker wrote:Apologies in advance if I either start withdrawing from this forum for a bit or start spamming with pointless garbage over the next few weeks as a personal distraction. It's just that this evening, I found out that my grandfather died this morning. He was 90.

Sorry to hear that Dr, I was very close to my maternal grandmother who died in 1995, the day before my birthday. As probably everyone is telling you right now you won't always feel like crap and while that's true I still remember how hard it hit me at the time. As this is the Therapybox I have no issues with telling you that twenty years later, and particularly with it being twenty years, I still feel a sadness but it's a different sadness, it's a more affectionate sadness and I also have a feeling of being lucky. Lucky to have the memories I have.

Thanks for your kind words. To be honest, I think it'll be around Christmas when it really hits, when you normally get together as a family. And I'm sure my mum is more affected at the moment - I think you are generally closer to your own parents and siblings than other relatives? But yeah, don't know how my grandmother will be in the days and weeks to come - they were due to celebrate their 68th wedding anniversary next month, my mum was telling me last night.

Time to bump this thread.

A while back, I was diagnosed with Aspergers'. It's mild, but it means that since forever, I've had big difficulties socialising, even when I'm online, and I also have moments of weird behaviour.
When I was a new user, I remember saying some things on here that must've been completely random for you guys, and I also had a lot of awkward moments with other users. Often, I took jokes made by other users literally, I was even labelled a 'killjoy' by someone. And initially, I posted like a spammer, not understanding why people on here would have an issue with that.
Indeed I feel that a lot of the time, I didn't understand the context (subtext?) of what people were talking about. I suppose with Aspergers', you see the world and think about things in a different way to most other folk.
But since my diagnosis, life has felt a bit easier to understand, socialising has gotten a lot easier too.
In regards to this online forum, of course I'll continue visiting this site and posting on occasion, I thought now was the right time to mention this, especially since I've gone more than 6 weeks w.o. posting on here.

Cheers

good_Ralf wrote:Time to bump this thread.

A while back, I was diagnosed with Aspergers'. It's mild, but it means that since forever, I've had big difficulties socialising, even when I'm online, and I also have moments of weird behaviour.
When I was a new user, I remember saying some things on here that must've been completely random for you guys, and I also had a lot of awkward moments with other users. Often, I took jokes made by other users literally, I was even labelled a 'killjoy' by someone. And initially, I posted like a spammer, not understanding why people on here would have an issue with that.
Indeed I feel that a lot of the time, I didn't understand the context (subtext?) of what people were talking about. I suppose with Aspergers', you see the world and think about things in a different way to most other folk.
But since my diagnosis, life has felt a bit easier to understand, socialising has gotten a lot easier too.
In regards to this online forum, of course I'll continue visiting this site and posting on occasion, I thought now was the right time to mention this, especially since I've gone more than 6 weeks w.o. posting on here.

Cheers

As a fellow person with Asperger's, I likewise find that it can be difficult successfully posting online due to lack of obvious context and tone in plain text compare to RL interaction (which I personally find slightly easier), which can often result in slow, overwrought and often repetitive replies (like this one, come to think of it...) to avoid writing complete nonsense.

Whilst me having ADD, i always wonder why people don't see context. i was never tested on HSP though, maybe i have some elements of that too.

Well, currently i'm kind of on antidepressiva. I'm on HRT for almost a year now (11 months) (not the F1 team lol) and somewhat from march-april on the emotions became really really rough, getting to a climax in august; so i had to take something to calm down the effects. Panic attacks, depression attacks, even anger attacks. It's like being on your period every single day. I feel generally better now.
Nevertheless i feel massively more comfortable in my skin and more confident about who i am, and that is what matters.
Still got a long way to go, but i'm on the right direction.

So yeah i'm really doing it, being a girl ^^ It's worth the struggle.

This wrote:Whilst me having ADD, i always wonder why people don't see context. i was never tested on HSP though, maybe i have some elements of that too.

Well, currently i'm kind of on antidepressiva. I'm on HRT for almost a year now (11 months) (not the F1 team lol) and somewhat from march-april on the emotions became really really rough, getting to a climax in august; so i had to take something to calm down the effects. Panic attacks, depression attacks, even anger attacks. It's like being on your period every single day. I feel generally better now.
Nevertheless i feel massively more comfortable in my skin and more confident about who i am, and that is what matters.
Still got a long way to go, but i'm on the right direction.

So yeah i'm really doing it, being a girl ^^ It's worth the struggle.

It totally is - glad to hear things are getting better for you. It's a huge thing to be honest about, especially with people you don't know in real life, so I do apologise for not noticing this until now.


In similar news... I'm also going to start being a girl from now on. Like This, I've been on HRT for almost a year now, and I've changed my name and other stuff, so I feel about now's the right time to tell you guys.

Salamander wrote:

This wrote:Whilst me having ADD, i always wonder why people don't see context. i was never tested on HSP though, maybe i have some elements of that too.

Well, currently i'm kind of on antidepressiva. I'm on HRT for almost a year now (11 months) (not the F1 team lol) and somewhat from march-april on the emotions became really really rough, getting to a climax in august; so i had to take something to calm down the effects. Panic attacks, depression attacks, even anger attacks. It's like being on your period every single day. I feel generally better now.
Nevertheless i feel massively more comfortable in my skin and more confident about who i am, and that is what matters.
Still got a long way to go, but i'm on the right direction.

So yeah i'm really doing it, being a girl ^^ It's worth the struggle.

It totally is - glad to hear things are getting better for you. It's a huge thing to be honest about, especially with people you don't know in real life, so I do apologise for not noticing this until now.


In similar news... I'm also going to start being a girl from now on. Like This, I've been on HRT for almost a year now, and I've changed my name and other stuff, so I feel about now's the right time to tell you guys.

All the best to both of you, everyone deserves to feel comfortable in their own skin.

Keep fighting the good fight.

Salamander wrote:

This wrote:Whilst me having ADD, i always wonder why people don't see context. i was never tested on HSP though, maybe i have some elements of that too.

Well, currently i'm kind of on antidepressiva. I'm on HRT for almost a year now (11 months) (not the F1 team lol) and somewhat from march-april on the emotions became really really rough, getting to a climax in august; so i had to take something to calm down the effects. Panic attacks, depression attacks, even anger attacks. It's like being on your period every single day. I feel generally better now.
Nevertheless i feel massively more comfortable in my skin and more confident about who i am, and that is what matters.
Still got a long way to go, but i'm on the right direction.

So yeah i'm really doing it, being a girl ^^ It's worth the struggle.

It totally is - glad to hear things are getting better for you. It's a huge thing to be honest about, especially with people you don't know in real life, so I do apologise for not noticing this until now.


In similar news... I'm also going to start being a girl from now on. Like This, I've been on HRT for almost a year now, and I've changed my name and other stuff, so I feel about now's the right time to tell you guys.

Like what Ataxia said, good on you for being whoever you want to be. Nobody should ever stop you from doing that, and I wish the two of you all the best in your new lives.

Salamander wrote:

This wrote:Whilst me having ADD, i always wonder why people don't see context. i was never tested on HSP though, maybe i have some elements of that too.

Well, currently i'm kind of on antidepressiva. I'm on HRT for almost a year now (11 months) (not the F1 team lol) and somewhat from march-april on the emotions became really really rough, getting to a climax in august; so i had to take something to calm down the effects. Panic attacks, depression attacks, even anger attacks. It's like being on your period every single day. I feel generally better now.
Nevertheless i feel massively more comfortable in my skin and more confident about who i am, and that is what matters.
Still got a long way to go, but i'm on the right direction.

So yeah i'm really doing it, being a girl ^^ It's worth the struggle.

It totally is - glad to hear things are getting better for you. It's a huge thing to be honest about, especially with people you don't know in real life, so I do apologise for not noticing this until now.


In similar news... I'm also going to start being a girl from now on. Like This, I've been on HRT for almost a year now, and I've changed my name and other stuff, so I feel about now's the right time to tell you guys.

Good luck sis If you need advice on anything, don't bother to ask (altough of course i don't know all the answers)

All the best to both of you. I can imagine it's probably a very difficult process to go through, so it's good to know both of you are feeling better now.

Well i can say it's defenitely not something one does for fun or the trend because it's certainly an emotional rollercoaster. But yeah i feel it's worth it and i hope i can take a few more steps the coming year

and many thanks for the positive wishes from others.

@waffle it's not really a new life, i'll always remain the same person. Just some corrections and updates.

Right, here goes:

As you probably/hopefully noticed, I kind of disappeared off the forum for a few months due to some kind of indeterminate malaise affecting me, making me feel more self-loathing and less functional than usual, to the extent that interacting with the forum was too much to bear for me at the time.

Thankfully, I've finally accepted what was making me feel quite so terrible about myself, and am starting to take steps to fix that, so that I can finally feel comfortable as a person. To wit, I'm going to start being a girl now. I've been trying to repress this for so long, but in the end I've finally accepted that that is what's damaging my mental health, and trying to invalidate myself is futile. I'm still pre HRT (I'm really wondering if my username's a subconscious coded message now ) and I'm not presenting full time, but I'm beginning to make the baby steps in creating a version of myself that I can recognise and be happy with.

Hopefully this now means I might be fit to run some of the many, many ASMF series I've fallen so far behind on too

Well i wish you luck. In my case i can update that i'm living full-time since this summer and that this or following week i will have my new passport with chosen name and gender ready. So then that only leaves the final big hurdle to take, for which i have a first appointment this februari to discuss that.
My life turned out to be not nearly as scary as i thought it would be. Now that i'm lso doing evening school i seems everything is falling in its place. The person i am now is defenitely much more complete than the person who first joined under this username. It's been worth it, absolutely. So i wish that gives you some good hope! It defenitely can be done!

When I last posted in this thread, my grandfather had just died. Funny thing about that was that it was the day after Marty McFly had visited in 2015 in Back To The Future II, so I felt as though my grandfather had lived to see the future. For someone to have become an adult during WW2, seen man on the moon (conspiracy theorists, please sit down), and the advent of the electronics age, it really must have felt like living in the future.

Anyway, that was then. My final remaining grandparent, my grandma, the wife of my aforementioned grandpa, died about a year ago, and today, my dad has phoned to say that my mum does indeed have cancer and is now on a palliative pathway. It may be the 1000th world championship grand prix this weekend, and I acknowledge the significance of it, but it won't be a celebration from me. I may well be around anyway, need to have my distractions and have something that keeps me grounded in the everyday, but it is not a happy time.

dr-baker wrote:When I last posted in this thread, my grandfather had just died. Funny thing about that was that it was the day after Marty McFly had visited in 2015 in Back To The Future II, so I felt as though my grandfather had lived to see the future. For someone to have become an adult during WW2, seen man on the moon (conspiracy theorists, please sit down), and the advent of the electronics age, it really must have felt like living in the future.

Anyway, that was then. My final remaining grandparent, my grandma, the wife of my aforementioned grandpa, died about a year ago, and today, my dad has phoned to say that my mum does indeed have cancer and is now on a palliative pathway. It may be the 1000th world championship grand prix this weekend, and I acknowledge the significance of it, but it won't be a celebration from me. I may well be around anyway, need to have my distractions and have something that keeps me grounded in the everyday, but it is not a happy time.

I'm terribly sorry to hear all that news, Baker. Although it will be a distraction at the end of the day, this group and all its folks are here for you for all the light-hearted chat you need. Stay strong.

dr-baker wrote:When I last posted in this thread, my grandfather had just died. Funny thing about that was that it was the day after Marty McFly had visited in 2015 in Back To The Future II, so I felt as though my grandfather had lived to see the future. For someone to have become an adult during WW2, seen man on the moon (conspiracy theorists, please sit down), and the advent of the electronics age, it really must have felt like living in the future.

Anyway, that was then. My final remaining grandparent, my grandma, the wife of my aforementioned grandpa, died about a year ago, and today, my dad has phoned to say that my mum does indeed have cancer and is now on a palliative pathway. It may be the 1000th world championship grand prix this weekend, and I acknowledge the significance of it, but it won't be a celebration from me. I may well be around anyway, need to have my distractions and have something that keeps me grounded in the everyday, but it is not a happy time.

I'm very sorry to hear about this. Please let me know if there is anything that I can help with.

I was informed yesterday by my cardiologist that I have to have more surgery to attempt to control my heart condition. This time it's likely to be major open-heart surgery. I'm happy because the surgery has very high success rates but worried because it is quite risky.

Faustus wrote:I was informed yesterday by my cardiologist that I have to have more surgery to attempt to control my heart condition. This time it's likely to be major open-heart surgery. I'm happy because the surgery has very high success rates but worried because it is quite risky.

However rates of success an operation has, and however good a surgeon you get, it is always a nervous time. Keep us informed.

And as an update to my last post, my mum died yesterday at 1:30 am (Friday 12th).

I wish you all a good recovery, and a ifeel along with those who lost significant others.

Just posting this to express my support for those in our community suffering loss and illness. Not sure I can think of any particularly helpful words to add, just wishing you well.

yannicksamlad wrote:Just posting this to express my support for those in our community suffering loss and illness. Not sure I can think of any particularly helpful words to add, just wishing you well.

Often, that is all that can be said, but that by saying that, that is enough. Thank you for acknowledging it and not being overwhelming about it.

yannicksamlad wrote:Just posting this to express my support for those in our community suffering loss and illness. Not sure I can think of any particularly helpful words to add, just wishing you well.

Thanks for the support, all of you!

My surgery has went well, I just need to take it easy for awhile.

dr-baker wrote:And as an update to my last post, my mum died yesterday at 1:30 am (Friday 12th).

Hi dr-baker, I don't post here anymore as I don't watch the F1 but I noticed your post so wanted to send you a virtual nod. I also lost my Mum at the beginning of March so I know how messed up things probably are. Keep your head up and go steady.

CoopsII wrote:

dr-baker wrote:And as an update to my last post, my mum died yesterday at 1:30 am (Friday 12th).

Hi dr-baker, I don't post here anymore as I don't watch the F1 but I noticed your post so wanted to send you a virtual nod. I also lost my Mum at the beginning of March so I know how messed up things probably are. Keep your head up and go steady.

So sorry to hear of your similar loss. It's not easy. Just glad to have been able to organise compassionate leave from uni during this time, and not have to make the time up in September when it would have been her birthday and my parents' 40th wedding anniversary.

dr-baker wrote:

CoopsII wrote:

dr-baker wrote:And as an update to my last post, my mum died yesterday at 1:30 am (Friday 12th).

Hi dr-baker, I don't post here anymore as I don't watch the F1 but I noticed your post so wanted to send you a virtual nod. I also lost my Mum at the beginning of March so I know how messed up things probably are. Keep your head up and go steady.

So sorry to hear of your similar loss. It's not easy. Just glad to have been able to organise compassionate leave from uni during this time, and not have to make the time up in September when it would have been her birthday and my parents' 40th wedding anniversary.

All I can tell you is that it will get better.

Time is a healer. Got a holiday booked for early September. For which my mum was lead booker. Taking her off the holiday booking and paying a single supplement for one of the two rooms my dad, sister and I now have has made the holiday more expensive by a few hundred quid...

People on Discord have already known this for months, but for those who haven't been there, here's a short update on my own situation.

Before the forum went down I mentioned having some personal "turmoil" and "issues" in some of my posts. What it really was that, three weeks short of exactly a year ago from today, I had a revelation regarding something that had been on my mind since my early teens. You can see my age in my user profile, so yeah, I'd been thinking about it for quite a few years...

The revelation was that all the "daydreaming" I did over the years was my true identity trying to push through. The identity of a girl, or at this age I should probably say woman.

Things have moved on really well as far as social transitioning goes, and I feel better mentally than I have in many, many years.

So anyway, from now on please use feminine pronouns when referring to me.

Nuppiz wrote:People on Discord have already known this for months, but for those who haven't been there, here's a short update on my own situation.

Before the forum went down I mentioned having some personal "turmoil" and "issues" in some of my posts. What it really was that, three weeks short of exactly a year ago from today, I had a revelation regarding something that had been on my mind since my early teens. You can see my age in my user profile, so yeah, I'd been thinking about it for quite a few years...

The revelation was that all the "daydreaming" I did over the years was my true identity trying to push through. The identity of a girl, or at this age I should probably say woman.

Things have moved on really well as far as social transitioning goes, and I feel better mentally than I have in many, many years.

So anyway, from now on please use feminine pronouns when referring to me.

I hope that you get all the right support that you need to proceed through this time. I can't imagine what the process is like, having no personal experience, but I can't imagine it being easy.

Hasn't someone else on this forum also been through this realisation and experience?

dr-baker wrote:I hope that you get all the right support that you need to proceed through this time. I can't imagine what the process is like, having no personal experience, but I can't imagine it being easy.

Hasn't someone else on this forum also been through this realisation and experience?

Thank you. I've received a great deal of support, both from my family (well, mom mostly), from professionals and finally all-important peer support on Discord from the other members here who are going through the same thing. If you scroll up this topic, you will find their own, similar announcements from the past.