Predicament Predictions - 2014 Italian Grand Prix

[Londoner]

Deadline is the conclusion of FP3. I may make a pitiful attempt at doing the scores for some rounds next week, and maybe even for 2013. Don't hold me to this though.

East Londoner's Predictions
2014 Civil War at Brackley Grand Prix

1. Bo77as
2. Hamilton
3. Massa
4. Alonso
5. Ricciardo
6. Vettel
7. Raikkonen
8. Perez
9. Button
10. Kyvat

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Massa
First retirement: Hulkenberg (uncharacteristic error at the Rettifilo sees him with three wheels on his wagon after one corner)
ROTR: Mercedes (yup, you guessed it, Hammy gets revenge over Rosberg, costing them another certain victory)
IIDOTR: Williams (Bo77as wins! And Massa is actually useful for once, getting onto the podium)
DBTMOTR: Hulkenberg (more by default if anything)
MLP: Kyvat
DNQ: ITV (for scheduling the second BTCC race at Rockingham this Sunday IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BLEEDING GRAND PRIX )

[Alextrax52]

2014 Rosso Red GP

1 Rosberg
2 Ricciardo
3 Vettel
4 Bottas
5 Alonso
6 Hulkenberg
7 Raikkonen
8 Massa
9 Perez
10 Kvyat

Pole: Rosberg
Fastest Lap: Hamilton
First Retirement: Ericsson
ROTR: Mclaren (No points with the best engine on the grid)
IIDOTR: Red Bull (Double Podium on a weak track for them)
DBTMOTR: Vergne
MLP: Kvyat
DNQ: Nein

[Miguel98]

2014 "Asphalt Parabolica" Italian Grand Prix

1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Ricciardo
4. Bottas
5. Raikkonen
6. Alonso
7. Massa
8. Button
9. The Hulk
10. Vergne

Pole Position: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Bo77as
First Retirement: Vettel
ROTR: Vettel (takes himself and Kvyat out after a disappointing qualifying)
IIDOTR: Button
DBTMOTR: Vettel
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: Nein

[tommykl]

2014 Allegedly power-based Grand Prix

1. Rosberg
2. Ricciardo
3. Bottas
4. Hamilton
5. Vettel
6. Alonso
7. Magnussen
8. Button
9. Hülkenberg
10. Räikkönen

Pole Position: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Vettel
First Retirement: Massa
ROTR: Räikkönen (boneheaded lap 1 move takes Massa out; slow the rest of the time)
IIDOTR: Magnussen, by default
DBTMOTR: Räikkönen
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: Kobayashi, technical issues

[Klon]

Klon's Predictions
2014 NOODLES BIRCHES STOP CRYING FAGGIT Grand Prix

1. Rosberg
2. Hamilton
3. Ricciardo
4. Bottas
5. Magnussen
6. Hülkenberg
7. Pérez
8. Button
9. Vergne
10. Massa

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Massa
First retirement: Alonso
ROTR: Hamilton (the entire race he bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches...)
IIDOTR: Räikkönen (actually fights the Mercedes cars until his engine explodes)
DBTMOTR: Massa
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: ...


... and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches and bitches ...

[Enforcer]

1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Bottas
4. Ricciardo
5. Vettel
6. Alonso
7. Magnussen
8. Massa
9. Raikkonen
10. Hulkenberg

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Bottas
First Retirement: Maldonado
ROTR: Ferrari. Fuel conservation makes them go backwards in the race after a decent showing in qualifying.
IIDOTR: Magnussen
MLP: Mangussen
DNQ: No one

[DOSBoot]

DOSBoot's Percitions

2014 "What's behind me, is not important!" Grand Prix

1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Bottas
4. Riccardo
5. Massa
6. Vettel
7. Alonso
8. Raikkonen
9. Hulkenburg
10. Perez

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Rosberg
First Retirement: Ericsson
ROTR: McLaren
IIDOTR: Force India
DBTMOTR: Button
MLP: Lotterer
DNQ: None

[KalleVRTN]

KalleVRTN's Predictions
2014 Italian Grand Prix

1. Bottas
2. Alonso
3. Hamilton
4. Ricciardo
5. Raikkönen
6. Vettel
7. Kvyat
8. Vergne
9. Perez
10. Button

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Bottas
First retirement: Massa
ROTR: Massa
IIDOTR: Bottas
DBTMOTR: Massa
DNQ: none

[mario]

DNQ: Merhi (assuming he drives the car), technical issues

There is a suggestion that Merhi might only be able to drive in the practise sessions because the FIA have not yet provided him with a superlicence, with the expectation that Kobayashi shall be returning to his regular seat for the short term at least.

[watka]

2014 If Peter Gethin Can Win Here Anyone Can Grand Prix

1. Rosberg
2. Alonso
3. Bottas
4. Ricciardo
5. Hamilton
6. Massa
7. Hulkenberg
8. Button
9. Magnussen
10. Sutil

Pole Position: Bottas
Fastest Lap: Rosberg
First Retirement: Vettel
ROTR: Perez, causes first corner crash
IIDOTR: Alonso
DBTMOTR: Raikkonen
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: Nope, Chuck Testa

[go_Rubens]

go_Rubens's Predictions

2014 "Who needs punishment when there's safety?" GP

1. Rosberg
2. Hamilton
3. Hülkenberg
4. Bottas
5. Massa
6. Magnussen
7. Pérez
8. Ricciardo
9. Räikkönen
10. Button

Pole: Rosberg
Fastest lap: Hamilton
First retirement: Vergne
ROTR: Renault/Ferrari
IIDOTR: Hülkenberg
DBTMOTR: Pérez
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[SgtPepper]

If-people-are-mental-enough-to-ride-bikes-get-them-to-go-somwhere-else-instead-of-mangling-one-of-the-last-untainted-tracks-we-have-left-please Grand Prix.


1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Alonso
4. Ricky
5. Bottas
6. Magnussen
7. Hulk
8. Vetlel
9. Räikkönen
10. Perez

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Rosberg
First retirement: Gutierrez
ROTR: Maldonado
IIDOTR: Bottas
DBTMOTR: Vettel
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[Shizuka]

2014 FerrariDoesnotWinLOL (because really, having the 4th best car doesn't help)

1. Hamilton
2. Ricciardo
3. Bottas
4. Vettel
5. Alonso
6. Räikkönen
7. Button
8. Magnussen
9. Hülkenberg
10. Kyvat

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Hamilton
First retirement: GutSquared (mechanical issue)
ROTR: Mercedes for not treating the Spa issue well - Rosberg gets thrown off the track
IIDOTR: Bottas will win it by default.
DBTMOTR: Massa (Q2 elimination, second chicane sees him getting a puncture off of hitting Vergne, and then trundles around below the points)
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: Alex Yoong... nah, nobody.

[RAK]

RAK's Predictions
2014 Slow, Turn, Point, Squirt Grand Prix

1) Hamilton
2) Rosberg
3) Bottas
4) Ricciardo
5) Massa
6) Vettel
7) Hulkenberg
8) Alonso
9) Perez
10) Button

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Hamilton
First Retirement: Ericsson
ROTR: The tifosi - booing resumes when there are no Ferrari representatives anywhere near the podium
IIDOTR: Force India
DBTMOTR: Magnussen
MLP: Kvyat
DNQ: None

[AxelP800]

Grand Prix of Pizza

1. Alonso
2. Raikkonen
3. Massa
4. Vettel
5. Bottas
6. Hulkenberg
7. Perez
8. Bianchi
9. Sutil
10. Gutierrez

Pole: Rosberg
Fastest Lap: Massa
First Retirement: Safety Car
ROTR: Everyone who hates Ferrari
IIDOTR: Ferrari
DBTMOTR: Ricciardo
MLP: Kvyat
DNQ: Erricsson?

[Ataxia]

If-people-are-mental-enough-to-ride-bikes-get-them-to-go-somwhere-else-instead-of-mangling-one-of-the-last-untainted-tracks-we-have-left-please Grand Prix.

Oh, shut up.

Ataxia's Predictions
2014 Biscotti Grand Prix

1. Rosberg
2. Hamilton
3. Alonso
4. Bottas
5. Ricciardo
6. Raikkonen
7. Vettel
8. Hulkenberg
9. Magnussen
10. Button

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Alonso
First retirement: Gutierrez
ROTR: Massa
IIDOTR: Alonso (puts in a swashbuckling performance to grab a podium.)
DBTMOTR: Massa
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: Zero.

[W12]

2014 I Can't Think Of Anything Funny To Put Here Grand Prix

1. Bo77as
2. Alonso
3. Ricciardo
4. Massa
5. Hamilton
6. Vettel
7. Raikkonen
8. Hulkenberg
9. Perez
10. Magnussen

Pole: Massa
Fastest lap: Massa
First retirement: Rosberg (collides with Hamilton)
ROTR: Rosberg
IIDOTR: Williams (Bo77as wins!)
DBTMOTR: Rosberg
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: Both Caterhams

[Meatwad]

2014 Italian Grand Prix

Meatwad's predictions
1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Ricciardo
4. Bottas
5. Massa
6. Vettel
7. Magnussen
8. Alonso
9. Vergne
10. Räikkönen

Pole: Rosberg
Fastest lap: Rosberg
First retirement: Kobayashi (or whoever drives his car)
ROTR: Force India
IIDOTR: Hülkenberg
DBTMOTR: Kvyat
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[tristan1117]

2014 Grand Prix of Italia
tristan1117's Predictions

1. Rosberg
2. Hamilton
3. Bottas
4. Ricciardo
5. Alonso
6. Vettel
7. Hulkenberg
8. Perez
9. Button
10. Kyvat

Pole: Rosberg
Fastest lap: Rosberg
First retirement: Vergne
ROTR: Vergne
IIDOTR: Hulk
DBTMOTR: Vergne
MLP: Kyvat
DNQ: None

[Dj_bereta]

1. Rosberg
2. Bottas
3. Alonso
4. Ricciardo
5. Massa
6. Raikkonen
7. Magnussen
8. Button
9. Perez
10. Hulkenberg

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Rosberg
First retirement: Hamilton
ROTR: Vettel (crashes with Hamilton and spent the rest the race around Sauberville)
IIDOTR: Bottas
DBTMOTR: Vettel
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[FMecha]

1. Vettel
2. Rosberg
3. Ricciardo
4. Hamilton
5. Alonso
6. Magnussen
7. Hulkenberg
8. Raikkonen
9. Perez
10. Guttierez

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Rosberg
First retirement: Maldonado
ROTR: Massa
IIDOTR: Vettel
DBTMOTR: Button
MLP: Magnussen

[dr-baker]

2014 vaguely footwear-shaped race track in a country shaped like a boot Grand Prix

1. Hamilton
2. Rosberg
3. Alonso
4. Button
5. Bottas
6. Magnussen
7. Raikkonen
8. Ricciardo
9. Vettel
10. Hulkenberg

Pole: Rosberg
Fastest lap: Vettel
First retirement: Maldonado see below
ROTR: Maldonado - it's about time, he's been far too anonymous recently...
IIDOTR: Button
DBTMOTR: Massa?
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: I've just got a funny feeling someone will either crash or have a mechanical problem, preventing them from setting a time within 107%, yet will be allowed to start anyway. Maldonado?

EDITED with about 15-20 minutes of FP3 left to go...

[roblo97]

Italian gp 2014

1. Rosberg
2. Ricciardo
3. Alonso
4. Bottas
5. Raikkonen
6. Vettel
7. Massa
8. Kyvat
9. Perez
10. Hulkenberg

Pole: Rosberg
Fastest lap: Vettel
First retirement: Grosjean
ROTR: Force India
IIDOTR: Kyvat
DBTMOTR: Hamilton (moans about the car and come home in 13th)
MLP: Kyvat
DNQ: 0

[Bleu]

2014 Ruined Parabolica Grand Prix
1. Bottas
2. Hamilton
3. Ricciardo
4. Alonso
5. Räikkönen
6. Vettel
7. Kvyat
8. Hülkenberg
9. Gutierrez
10. Bianchi


Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Alonso
First retirement: Maldonado (car fails at the start)
ROTR: Ericsson (does a Liuzzi)
IIDOTR: Kvyat
DBTMOTR: Vergne
MLP: Kyvat
DNQ: Ericsson

[GwilymJJames]

2014 Italia Grand Prix
1. Rosberg
2. Ricciardo
3. Hamilton
4. Alonso
5. Vettel
6. Massa
7. Button
8. Raikkonen
9. Magnussen
10. Hulkenberg

Pole: Rosberg
Fastest lap: Rosberg
First retirement: Sutil
ROTR: Bottas
IIDOTR: Ricciardo
DBTMOTR: Raikkonen
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: Nil

[good_Ralf]

good_Ralf's predictions

2014 Senna would have won in '87 with the new Parabolica run-off strip Grand Prix

1) Bottas
2) Hamilton
3) Rosberg
4) Massa
5) Raikkonen
6) Ricciardo
7) Alonso
8) Perez
9) Vettel
10) Sutil

Pole: Bottas
FL: Rosberg
First DNF: Hulkenberg
ROTR: Vettel
IIDOTR: Bottas
DBTMOTR: Hulkenberg
MLP: Go Kevin!
DNQ: Zero

[More_Blue_Flags]

2014 "Keep your hands off Monza, Bernie!" Italian Grand Prix

1) Rosberg
2) Bottas
3) Raikkonen
4) Hamilton
5) Button
6) Vettel
7) Alonso
8) Perez
9) Magnussen
10) Ricciardo

Pole: Hamilton
FL: Hamilton
First DNF: Grosjean
ROTR: Hamilton - loses his composure after a relatively minor setback and throws away a certain podium
IIDOTR: Raikkonen - puts all the doubters (myself included) back in their place
DBTMOTR: Hulkenberg
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

[Rocks with Salt]

Rocks with Salt's Predictions
2014 Tifosi Grand Prix

1. Rosberg
2. Ricciardo
3. Hamilton
4. Alonso
5. Vettel
6. Bottas
7. Raikkonen
8. Hulkenberg
9. Magnussen
10. Massa

Pole Position: Rosberg
Fastest Lap: Hamilton
First Retirement: Kvyat
ROTR: The Stewards
IIDOTR: Bottas
DBTMOTR: Perez
MLP: Magnussen
DNQ: None

RandomBot's Predictions
2014 Italian Grand Prix

1. Vergne
2. Maldonado
3. Chilton
4. Sutil
5. Perez
6. Hulkenberg
7. Ericsson
8. Bianchi
9. Massa
10. Bottas

Pole Position: Grosjean
Fastest Lap: Kobayashi
First Retirement: Hamilton
ROTR: Kobayashi
IIDOTR: Grosjean
DBTMOTR: Rosberg
MLP: Kvyat
DNQ: None