Alt-Mario Kart 2005: The Nitro Era

[Rob Dylan]

Welcome back one and all to the most wonderfulest series on the planet!


News
2004 was, as is rarely the case, a largely drama-free season in spite of the seismic line-up changes that occurred over the summer break. The silly season news for the next two years occurred largely in advance, meaning that the outgoing world champion Waluigi has planted himself at a very determined and overstretched SSL until the end of 2006. With teams going back to two karts, and SSL reportedly having hired up to eight or nine different drivers, it will be quite the bloodbath to see who gets the second seat at the team. Rumours have even abounded that Daisy and Luigi intend to either independently or co-operatively set up a junior team for their children and other prospective entrants for the main SSL team.

Toad took a brilliant championship after a late-season surge, even beating the upset candidate in Bowser Jr. However, Bowser Jr. has been training hard over the winter, and has a whole decade age advantage over the two-time champion. BMW has not declared any seats yet, although it seems inevitable that their top two drivers from 2004 will retain those seats.

That leaves others like Mario and DK out on the lurch. The former has announced intentions to re-form Scuderia Mario under the new name Project Mario, while DK's career is in turmoil as he attempts to prove himself as a leading driver. Perhaps a chance might come at DPRK? At teams such as Funky and Peach's, there comes difficulty when four chosen drivers must become two. Of the equally tested Conker and Banjo, which if either will keep their place? And what of the much-vaunted Para Troopa? Will he be keen to stay in place or will he want to move?

Koopra Sport remains as quiet as ever, although further rumours suggest that Morton Koopa Jr. is not happy with the slowdown in pace for the team, and their inability to produce "a winner" as he calls it. Other drivers such as Dribble & Spitz will be very hot commodities in the search for drivers this year.

At Mitsuyoshi, second place was a solid result but not good enough. Redsaurus has been pulling his hair out over the loss in pace found both by Dixie Kong and by Yoshi - even if both drivers were able to take victories last season. Mitsuyoshi seems the most obvious place for an enterprising driver to end up and reap the spoils of 2005.

KBM is now in a situation whereby their team owner is now head of the MKDA after a very contentious election. While things have calmed down, the long-term effects of this new governance have yet to be felt in the paddock. New rule changes are likely to come into force soon...

And what of the new teams? Mario and Birdo are all but certain to be entering their own vanity projects, while SSL's potential junior team will be fighting against Iggy Koopa and Toadsworth for a place on the grid. The MIA has announced its intentions to have a 20 kart grid at the maximum for now. Let's see who's in and who's out.


New Rules

• The MIA has mandated that teams go back to two karts and two drivers, now that the after-effects of DKR's collapse have worn off.

• There is a current cap of 20 karts on the grid for 2005, so 10 teams will be allowed to participate (if they pass the vetting).

• Yoshihama will be brought back to Mario Kart to instill a tyre war.

The Grid

Red Bowser Racing

Team Principal: Donkey Kong Jr. (Hermann95)

#1 Toad Toadstool
#2 Bowser Jr.

Mitsuyoshi Buntai

Team Principal: Redsaurus R. Bitakoopas (Javi/Frentzen)

#3 Dixie Kong
#4 Wario Jumpman

Scuderia Sarasaland Squadron Luigier Team

Team Principals: Luigi Mario and Daisy von Sarasaland (TCBY and Pinkd)

#5 Waluigi
#6 Luigi Mario

Donkey-Peach Racing Kongection

Team Principal: Peach Toadstool (NessaFox)
Technical Director (day-to-day): Funky Kong (Ducktanian)

#7 Peach Toadstool
#8 Banjo-Kazooie

Koopra Sport

Team Principal: Koopa Troopa (DigitDan)

#9 Kokkoro Toudou
#10 Pipsy Astromouse

King Boo Motorsports

Team Principal: King Boo (NickyDustyOwl)

#11 Para Karry
#12 Petey Piranha

Project Mario

Team Principal: Mario Mario (Frogfoot9013)

#14 Mario Mario
#15 Para Troopa

Birdette Racing

Team Principal: Birdetta Birdo (Novitopoli)

#16 Birdetta Birdo
#17 Nicolas Hammerton

Koopra Kids

Team Principal: Iggy Koopa (Pinguini)

#18 Iggy Koopa
#19 Conker T. Squirrel

ToadGate

Team Principal: Toadsworth (Aislabie)

#20 Dribble & Spitz
#21 Toadsworth





The Calendar

Mushroom Cup
1. Figure-Eight Circuit [Mushroom Kingdom]
2. Yoshi Falls [Yoshi's Island]
3. Cheep Cheep Beach [Koopa Kingdom]
4. Luigi's Mansion [Mushroom Kingdom]

Flower Cup
5. Desert Hills [Yoshi's Island]
6. Delfino Square [Isle Delfino]
7. Waluigi Pinball [Mushroom Kingdom]
8. Shroom Ridge [Mushroom Kingdom]

Star Cup
9. DK Pass [Donkey Kong Country]
10. Tick-Tock Clock [Mushroom Kingdom]
11. Mario Circuit [Mushroom Kingdom]
12. Airship Fortress [Koopa Kingdom]

Special Cup
13. Wario Stadium [Wario Land]
14. Peach Gardens [Mushroom Kingdom]
15. Bowser's Castle [Koopa Kingdom]
16. Rainbow Road [Space]


Phase 1 (1992-1995) records
Phase 2 (1996-2002) records

Phase 3 (current) records

[Rob Dylan]

New Team Arrivals

To make up for the loss in seats following the collapse of Diddy Kong Racing after 2002, and the move away from double-seated karts after 2004, the MIA have allowed a whopping four new teams to enter the championship for 2005. They are as follows:

- Project Mario, the successor team to the legendary Scuderia Mario (1992-1996). It is being run by Mario Mario, who is also employing long-time colleague Whomp King as the team's reserve driver. The Italian Mario will be in the lead kart while Para Troopa has suspiciously accepted an auspicious deal for the second seat.

- Birdette Racing, run by Birdetta Birdo after she failed to get herself or protege Nicolas Hammerton a race seat in 2004. They have been building up a new kart for a long time with this intention to run, or at least so Birdetto says. The two aforementioned drivers will be in the seats when the season begins, but it is understood that other Yoshi's Island drivers may get a leg up as the years go by.

- Koopra Kids, the funniest team so far, is being run by 23-year-old Iggy Koopa. The fourth Koopa Kid has a lot of weight on his shoulders bearing the brunt of this new team, but thankfully he has help as the team will be effectively run as a Koopra Sport junior platform, at least in its first few seasons. Some favours may be exchanged but it is understood to be an amicable partnership.

- ToadGate, the final team to make it, is being headed by the 61-year-old Toadsworth, who famously failed to win the MKDA election last year by one whole vote. While last minute in his approach, Toad has us with the understanding that he has the full resources to operate a racing team out of his kart.

[Rob Dylan]

Non-Championship Races to return

In an attempt to encourage the new teams to participate as much as possible, non-championship races are coming to Mario Kart on a permanent basis, between Cups. Teams will have the option of either improving their kart or participating for potential cash funds. It will also encourage teams to send in new drivers for these events to test out new talent.

[novitopoli]

Hammeronda to return to Mario Kart, powering Birdette Racing

Just hours after Birdette Racing has been officially confirmed as a new entrant in Mario Kart from the 2005 season, Hammeronda has announced their return to the sport as an engine supplier, powering Birdette Racing as its works team. Hammeronda had previously enjoyed remarkable success in the early days of the series, powering the now-defunct Hammer Brothers Racing Team to a total of 6 wins and 28 podiums between 1994 and 1998.

It is understood that contacts between Hammeronda management and owner-driver Birdette Birdo on the marque's return as an engine supplier had been established as early as late 2003; Birdo herself had been at the wheel for five of the six wins achieved by Hammeronda-powered karts. Birdette Racing chief engineer Rob Robirdo has been quoted as saying: "We have a great deal of confidence on the partnership with our friends at Hammeronda; the engine is already on the drivebench and the data is very promising", while the team's deputy team principal, former Diddy Kong Racing podium finisher and one-time Mario Kart starter Jimmie Mouser, has been more cautious on the team's perspective: "We are a new team and will have to first and foremost measure ourselves against other new outfits. But we come well prepared and will do our best to shine!"

[Forti]

Dribble & Spitz are awaiting offers for the 2005 season. The duo are also willing to step aside for non-championship races.

[Hermann95]

Shocking! BMW set for full rebrand ahead of the 2005 season

Bowser Motor und Sport are the first to exclusively report, that the Bowser Motor Works Racing Team will not be the same come the start of the 2005 season. Bowser himself confirmed, that he needs to step back from the day-to-day business of running a team as his medical condition regarding his heart is getting worse and worse. "Another collision between our karts, or another court case, could easily be the end of me", Bowser admits.

To prevent any speculation regarding a potential successor as team principal, Bowser secretly worked on a solution for the last couple of months in order to prepare everything for a smooth takeover. A familiar face to the sport will be the new head of the team, Dr. Donkard Kong Jr..

Donkey Kong Jr. is famously known, for his horrific accident at Donut Plains in 1994 which saw him in a coma for nearly 2 years afterwards as well as loosing one eye. Since then, it has been quiet around him, but he couldn't possibly have been more active. After finishing lawschool, and officially becoming known as Dr. Donkard Kong Jr, he ventured into the business world, acquiring hotels among other things. In the past few years, he has been a Board Member and advisor for the Red Bowser Energy Drink company, who are set for a major sponsorship deal, including a change of the team name, with the BMW outfit.

While the exact name is not yet finalized, we at BMuS are hearing from our sources that it will be Red Bowser Racing.

[Aislabie]

Toadsworth confirms technical partnership with major team

Managing director of the ToadGate Racing Team, Chairman of ToadGate Industries, former candidate for MKDA Chairman and President of the Mario Golf Association Toadsworth has today announced an exciting technical partnership that will no doubt launch his ambitious and innovative racing team to the front of the grid.

The technical partnership will see the Project Mario team supply ToadGate with two former show karts and a steady supply of Marioserati engines. In return for this fantastic deal, Toadsworth has agreed to terms which include running Project Mario's 41-year-old junior driver Krunch Kremling in the #21 kart, and ensuring that all ToadGate drivers are paid up members of the MMDA (Mario Mario Drivers Association).

Toadsworth announced the new development in a press conference that was supposed also to include Mario Mario, but the enigmatic Italian was reportedly out of town on other business.

[Forti]

Dribble & Spitz to drive for ToadGate in 2005

Mario Kart race winners Dribble & Spitz have been confirmed to drive the No. 20 ToadGate kart. The duo will race alongside Mario’s apprentice Krunch Kremling. Given their reputation, we at the Daily Diamond confidently believe that D&S will be treated as the No. 1 driver, but that’s all up to Toadsworth. In an interview, Dribble stated, “Building up an all-new team is an exciting prospect. I’ll gladly bear the responsibility of taking ToadGate to their first victory!”

[Rob Dylan]

CIVIL WAR AT MITSUYOSHI

In an off-season shake-up, it is understood that long-time Mitsuyoshi team principal has been shown the door by his former legal client and also formerly dead friend Yoshisaur T. Munchakoopas. After a few seasons now of Yoshi being reanimated, Mitsuyoshi top brass has decided to remove Redsaurus from the post of team manager and reinstate the racing legend to his old spot.

What now for Redsaurus? Latest we have heard is that he is signing for DPRK. More to follow.

[Rob Dylan]

CIVIL WAR AT MITSUYOSHI

In an off-season shake-up, it is understood that long-time Mitsuyoshi team principal has been shown the door by his former legal client and also formerly dead friend Yoshisaur T. Munchakoopas. After a few seasons now of Yoshi being reanimated, Mitsuyoshi top brass has decided to remove Redsaurus from the post of team manager and reinstate the racing legend to his old spot.

What now for Redsaurus? Latest we have heard is that he is signing for DPRK. More to follow.

Since that news was leaked, Redsaurus has quietly left the Mitsuyoshi team with immediate effect. It is rumoured that the snubbed former team principal is now looking to start up his own Mario Kart team in rivalry to Yoshisaur.

Other Signings
Perhaps the loudest of all the signings so far has been Wario Jumpman, the five-time world champion from 1994-1998. Initially approached by DPRK, he loudly proclaimed to the press that he was retired for good, but a Cup-by-Cup contract with Mitsuyoshi was then too hard to turn down. The five-time world champion returns yet again to race alongside Dixie Kong, who has been retained for another season. Dixie Kong, and of course, Redsaurus, are out of the other two seats, while Yoshi moves back into team management.

Elsewhere, DPRK signs Banjo-Kazooie alongside Peach after deals with Wario fell through. It is understood that Donkey Kong is still on their radar, but the monkey has so far failed to find a seat. KBM, who were in competition for Kazooie's services, have instead hired two debutants Petey Piranha and Para Karry. Karry's only driving experience has been in Diddy Kong Racing many years ago.

Dribble & Spitz, currently referred to as the biggest upcoming young talent of their generation, have left Koopra Sport for the new ToadGate team, where they have been promised #1 status at the start-up team. Toadsworth, unable to secure a second driver, has decided that as negotations ongo, he will take the second seat for the opening round.

RBR, formerly BMW, have signed up Toad on another two-year contract to the end of 2006, while Bowser Jr. has retained his place at the team following a near championship victory.

Birdette Racing have unsurprisingly signed team principal Birdetta Birdo and her client Nicolas Hammerton.

[Rob Dylan]

The Tyre Wars Begin

In an effort to spice up the show, the MKDA have agreed with the MIA to make Mario Kart more exciting by instilling a tyre war, inviting Yoshihama back as a tyre supplier alongside the previously monopolising Bridgestone team. Each supplier has to be supplying two more teams alongside their factory partners (RBR and Mitsuyoshi). It is understood that DPRK and Birdette Racing have been chosen as premium users by Yoshihama, while Project Mario and King Boo Motorsports received premium status from Booridgestone. The remaining four teams are at free reign to pick which tyres they would like on their karts.

[Rob Dylan]

Over the weekend, we had more driver signings, such as when Koopra Kids hired young Koopa talents such as team owner Iggy Koopa, and 37-year-old Conker T. Squirrel. We also had the first pre-season test held at the classic Mario Raceway, a track not used since the 2002 team. Four teams were absent: Project Mario and ToadGate due to focussing on their new karts, Koopra Sport due to delays in decision-making and management from Koopa Troopa, and then Koopra Kids who were too late in signing up for the event.

Mitsuyoshi dominated initial proceedings, with RBR and Waluigi behind. The only noticeably slow team was Birdette Racing, who in their first ever session were a lot slower than KBM in apparent fifth. It was almost a dream come true for returning five-time champion Wario Jumpman, who was a few hundredths of a second from topping the session on his first drive.

[Forti]

New engine supplier to join MK?

News has just broke that Diamond City-based auto conglomerate Diamond Motors has been taken over by Dribble & Spitz, renamed to DS Automobiles.

With eyebrows raising over ToadGate’s Marioserati engine supply after key figure in the deal Krunch Kremling could not compete, Dribble & Spitz proposed a solution.

Their colleague Dr Crygor, of Diamond Taxi fame, would build a W12 engine badged under the DS brand Spitroen.

This has fueled rumors that they are starting their own team soon, and the duo’s colleague Dr Crygor has been cited as a key figure in this operation, building their own kart as well as their in-house engine. Dribble & Spitz’s team has been speculated to serve as a promotion for the new DS brand Spitroen, with the intent of using motorsport expertise to improve sales.

As for the duo themselves, they will remain at ToadGate for the time being.

[Rob Dylan]

A few weekends later we organised the second pre-season test, which this time featured seven of the ten teams. Koopra Kids joined in and were immediately fast, especially in the hands of seasoned racing veteran Conker. Project Mario and ToadGate decide again to waive participation in the event and instead work on their new chassis to be race-worthy by season start. Koopra Sport has not been heard of in some time, and their participation in the season is now in doubt. The announcement that they would run Booridgestones did little to quell these doubts.

The stars of the second test, taking place at Yoshi Falls, were DPRK, who led a 1-3 with Peach at the top of the day's running. Defending champion Toad split the two, with Koopra Kids close behind. Birdette Racing are still a bit further behind the pack, but there's no guarantee of their place overall until the last two teams start participating. See you at Figure Eight!

[Rob Dylan]

Koopra Sport has good and bad news! After a last-minute entry to the championship, the team are now facing the problem that Morton Koopa has pulled out of the team in protest to the way he was treated in contract duties. The Koopaling brother evidently believes he could do better elsewhere, and it has put his now former team in a bit of a bind.

[Rob Dylan]

With Pipsy Astromouse now occupying the #10, this means that all seats are now taken for the first round of 2005. All teams are ready, and Figure Eight is just around the corner

[Rob Dylan]

Mushroom Cup

The Mushroom Cup saw a big upset when the Project Mario karts lined up 1-2 on the grid at Figure Eight. Their radical new design caught the attention of the MIA and, after the team won lights to flag, was promptly banned from the next race on. This revolutionary innovation is being considered for future technical regulations, but for the rest of the season PM will have to revert back to their a-spec chassis.

This all overshadowed an excellent opening round from Koopra Sport, which was followed up by two consecutive wins by Pipsy Astromouse to rocket into the lead of the championship. Her teammate Kokkoro Toudou was slower out the gate, but two pole positions were rewarded with a DNF and a second. It wasn't great for her, and may prove pivotal in how this championship ends up by the Special Cup, but it did show we may have an intra-team fight going on at KS for the rest of the year.

Elsewhere, Koopra Kids did very well, while ToadGate almost never made it to any events. Toadsworth himself spent weeks trying to get 2000 Diddy Kong Racing champion Whomp King into the kart, but without success. RBR were not very strong when the season began, but Toad was able to take a strong second at Yoshi Falls to at least trouble the front on a low-power circuit. That BMW is down on horsepower this year, especially compared to Koopa Climax (which powers both Koopra Sport and Koopra Kids).

A surprise win for Dixie Kong was a welcome positive for Mitsuyoshi, although it seems like they may suffer in a difficult season this year. Let's see.

[Rob Dylan]

Mid-Season Test and Round 5

At Moo Moo Farm, seven of the teams turned up to do some in-season testing and improve their karts. It is understood that most of the big teams especially have been building up their bases and their machines rapidly to catch up, after it seems that DPRK and especially Koopra Sport have got the jump on everyone.

Whomp King made his debut here in the ToadGate Rainbow, the much advertised b-spec kart that promises to be a world-beater. However, it broke down after just 30 metres and he never left the pits. Conker T. Squirrel led the test and threatened more results from Koopra Kids at the next round.

The next round was Desert Hills, and our first in-season driver swaps occurred. Whomp King was originally slated to replace Toadsworth at ToadGate, but his place was taken when Nic Hammerton was fired from Birdette Racing by his manager Birdo. Nic was quickly hired by Toadsworth, and Birdo replaced him with the returning Morton Koopa. Morton struggled greatly in the Desert Hills, while Koopra Kids threw away all pace by constantly crashing.

Kokkoro crashed out from the lead after starting from pole, and the rest of the race was a two-way fight between Bowser Jr. and Dixie Kong. Bowser Jr. mastered the banked corners and took the lead early, never relinquishing. Championship leader Pipsy Astromouse kept a distant third to keep her lead in the championship. The fact that the two championship runners are both survivors of that hideous crash in Rainbow Road in 2003 is a testament to their racing spirit.

[Forti]

Dribble & Spitz burn up existing contract to join King Boo Motorsports!
After dragging the ToadGate kart kicking and screaming into 7th place at Delfino, the duo from Diamond City's patience ran out with Toadsworth's team. The ToadGate kart's severe lack of speed drove them to their breaking point, in no doubt assisted with teammate Nic Hammerton's struggles to make the grid. We met the duo at the beach, where they had tossed their contract into a fire pit. This is what remains of the ToadGate deal:

Later on, D&S told us that they had joined King Boo Motorsports. KBM is the second-lowest team in the standings, so their move was met with skepticism. The duo defended their decision, stating that "Petey Piranha's fastest lap at Yoshi's Island proves that KBM can give the other teams a run for their coins." Dribble & Spitz's deal is set to last until the end of 2006, suggesting that the plans to start their own team may be on hold for now. Dribble & Spitz's deal is also bound to signal the end of Para Karry's season, as rumours of him getting fired spread after 3 DNQs in the Star Cup.

[Rob Dylan]

Rest of the Flower Cup

Delfino Square was a crash-heavy race, with championship leader Pipsy hitting the wall in qualifying and being unable to save herself during the race. Kokkoro finally took her first win of the season from pole when Wario embarrassingly took himself out of the lead. Para Troopa hauling his Project Mario to 2nd and Dribble & Spitz hauling a ToadGate to 7th were the big highlights.

Waluigi Pinball was a massacre for most of the drivers, with retirements left right and centre. First Pipsy, then Dixie, then Kokkoro all crashed out leaving no change in the standings. Banjo too missed out on a win by his own mistake, and only Toad was able to keep his kart on track to win. Luigi took a strong second place finish by just keeping the kart on track, and Iggy did the same in third. After a brief illness, Morton took his first points of the season to extend Birdette's gap to KBM.

At Shroom Ridge, Kokkoro took her sixth consecutive pole and was untroubled all the way to the flag. Wario qualified well, and this time stayed there, holding up Pipsy who recovered to finish a much-needed third place and keep her championship lead. Para Karry had failed to qualify for three consecutive races, but did start this round and even scored a point!

The Cup was noted for the two BMW victories, the number of crashes by DPRK, and the real drop in performance from Pipsy as she now chases for a title in Mario Kart for the first time.





After the Cup, we had a variety of news stories to come out. Firstly, as above, Dribble & Spitz were signed by King Boo Motorsports until the end of 2006. Then, Wario announced his retirement for the fourth time, so Mitsuyoshi will need to replace him. ToadGate hired Whomp King to replace him for the time being.

[Rob Dylan]

Off-Cup Testing and NC Racing

The MIA have decided to host more testing and NC racing over the summer break. They have mandated by way of RNG that the race will be held at Frappe Snowland, while the testing event will be held at Baby Park. Again, this seems a bit backwards in the eyes of this commentator, but there we have it. The previously condemned Donut Plains circuit was up for consideration on the planning proposals, but was turned down for its lack of safety adherence.

[Rob Dylan]

Wario Makes Fourth Comeback!

It's official! As Mitsuyoshi attempts to find a worthy replacement for the five-time world champion, they seek the help of Mr. Jumpman himself to drive in a mid-season test to compare with his two potential successors. Tickets are already selling out to potentially see Wario drive his final ever Mario Kart event - get yours before it's too late!

[Rob Dylan]

Mid-Season Non-Championship Grand Prix

Mario Kart fans were treated to the second non-championship event of the season (and the third ever, by my recollection) at Frappe Snowland, which used to host Mario Kart races between 1996 and 2002. At this event, Mitsuyoshi ran Lemmy Koopa and King Bobomb for the second time, testing out which of them would replace the legendary Wario Jumpman. As it happened, Lemmy dominated the race from pole, also setting the fastest lap and leading every lap, which was enough to convince Yoshi to hire the 19-year-old for the rest of the season. Bobomb held his team's hopes and dreams in late 2004, but has been out of a drive ever since!

Meanwhile, the other wonderful surprise was that Bowser, freed now from the shackles of being team principal (1992-2004), decided to take a punt at racing again on the Frappe Snowland circuit. In a historic move, he buried the hatchet and joined Mario Mario on the grid in place of Para Troopa. He finished last, but it was still good for him!

Mitsuyoshi held a private test at the circuit following the race, and it obviously confirmed their preconceptions about Lemmy Koopa, as they hired him straight away.

[Rob Dylan]

Round 9 - Tyre Drama at DK Pass

The first round of news hit Mario Kart early upon returning from the summer break. After a test to allow in-season development, there were some noticeable changes when Birdette Racing especially made some major gains in the midfield. ToadGate, eager to capitalise on the development of their new ToadGate Rainbow b-chassis and the instituting of Nic Hammerton as their new lead driver, sent their drivers out early on Friday. Hammerton's kart then disintegrated and collided with the rock-face wall in sector 1, before the remains of the kart spun around and fell into the icy water below. Nic was injured and will be out for two races. Toadsworth wasted no time in signing up Wiz Pig as his temporary replacement.

When the weekend proper began, Booridgestone runners suffered catastrophic tyre blowouts, and after an emergency meeting, were disqualified from attending the rest of the weekend for safety reasons. The remaining Yoshihama runners (three teams + ToadGate, but the latter weren't fast or safe enough to qualify) were involved in last-minute meetings, but between them they decided that for the good of the sport they should race as normal. Other ideas such as cancellation or non-championship options were not used.

So, of the three teams, DPRK did really well and Banjo-Kazooie won from pole. Lemmy Koopa was quick but not quick enough to catch and pass. However, beating a two-time champion teammate and finishing second with fastest lap is a good way to debut!

[Rob Dylan]

Round 10 - Tick Tock Clock

The championship was turned on its head at Tick Tock Clock. After everyone returned to racing and there were just about no repercussions from the six-kart race at DK Pass, we had normality again. Normality started with neither ToadGate qualifying. Whomp King, who has been promised the b-spec kart all season, decided to give up his seat until the ToadGate Rainbow would be ready to compete. It is understood the 2000 Diddy Kong Racing Champion will be testing it after the Star Cup.

There were a couple of misplaced drivers, such as Bowser Jr. and Dixie Kong who had qualified really poorly despite showing good Q1 pace. In spite of Koopa Climax not having any kind of advantage at this slow-speed circuit, Koopra Sport had a 1-2 for most of the race. Kokkoro took pole and held her teammate behind really well, before an unforced error on the last lap hda her crash out again from pole, and instead allow her teammate Pipsy to win for the third time this season. Dixie was unable to capitalise and scored no points, but remains second in the championship, because the only other frontrunner in the standings to do well was defending champion Toad, who is now sniffing for a place in the top 3 come season end.

Now, with six races to go, Pipsy has a 12-point lead. Considering the trials and tribulations she has faced throughout her career, a championship would be no less than a triumph.

[Rob Dylan]

Round 11 - Mario Circuit

Tragedy struck the pre-race practice at Mario Circuit when Chunky Kong collided heavily with the brick hairpin wall. He was heavily injured and will be out of racing for the next 12 months. His teammate Wiz Pig was super close to qualifying, but was still short of the required time to get in.

In the race itself, Dixie Kong ended Kokkoro's run of poles, but was passed early on. A couple of big crashes, such as Toad and Luigi who crashed out mid-race. The top three in the championship held the top three positions all race, with Dixie finishing behind Kokkoro Toudou and Pipsy Astromouse finishing third. All positivity was overshadowed during the event when Dribble & Spitz flew off track at the last corner. After the race they were recovered from their kart and found dead. They were only 22 and some of the strongest young talent MK has ever seen. They will be greatly missed.

[Forti]

REST IN PEACE, DRIBBLE AND SPITZ

Diamond City's greatest racing duo since Wario and Waluigi, Dribble and Spitz, passed away at the Mario Circuit race. Their crash cut a promising career, which had started in 2003, short. Dribble & Spitz's amazing career began in 2003 for Koopra Sport. His hiring was questioned by the MK paddock, but any concerns were wiped away when they took the flag at Yoshi's Island. Having earned the "Biggest Hype for 2004 Award" at the MIA Prize Gala, the Duo from Diamond City remained at Koopra for 2004. Dribble and Spitz raced hard to win at Mario Circuit of all places, finish 10th, as the second-highest Koopra driver.

But Koopa Troopa's team had fallen behind overall, finishing 5th out of 6 teams in 2004 versus second out of 6 in 2003. This motivated their new manager, Gerard-Thierry Forte, to make them pursue a drive elsewhere. After being denied permission to start their own team for 2005, Forte gambled by sending them to ToadGate. This move was disastrous, with the team's sheer incompetence leading to Dribble and Spitz failing to make the grid twice in the Mushroom Cup. Immediately, they looked to the future by recruiting staff for a potential new team for 2006, such as prolific Diamond City scientist Crygor. Their purchase of the Diamond Motors auto conglomerate bolstered rumours relating their new team.

During the Flower Cup, they amazingly scored a point in the ToadGate, a testament to their driving ability, whilst Nic Hammerton failed to qualify in all four races. Seeing a competent driver like Hammerton be unable to qualify the ToadGate was the final straw for Dribble and Spitz. With their deal with Crygor seemingly falling through, D&S moved to KBM, managed by Toadsworth's former political rival King Boo. Their first race, at DK Pass, went nowhere. Dribble and Spitz's suggestion to hold a race at their and Wario's hometown of Diamond City fell on deaf ears, as the Yoshihama teams raced on "in the interest of the sport". It was a return to expected form at Tick Tock Clock, as Dribble and Spitz finished 4th, KBM's best finish of the year at that point. Spirits were high as they headed to Mario Circuit, the setting of their second win...

...but Lord Miyamoto had other plans. Dribble and Spitz crashed hard at the final turn, for reasons currently unknown. Notorious Koopa Kingdom lawyer Saul Goomba reached out us about his recollection of the accident he witnessed. "It seemed like the brakes didn't work on that kart. I saw them go straight into the wall, and they were not okay. In their final moments, I watched them embrace for one last time, with bittersweet smiles on their faces. Dribble and Spitz died before my eyes".

Their career ended with 43 races, 43.5 points, 4 podiums, and 2 wins, which could've been much more.

Dribble and Spitz's demise was the first direct on-track death since the days of Diddy Kong Racing, and the first in Mario Kart. This saw fingers pointed at KBM boss and MKDA President King Boo for failing to improve driver safety. The ghost's mental health has reportedly gone down the drain following this accident. Dribble and Spitz's former co-driver and close friend Koopa Kolorado has been signed for the rest of the season, and will debut at the Airship Fortress race, named the Dribble and Spitz Memorial Trophy in their honour.

The funeral of Dribble and Spitz was held in their hometown of Diamond City, attended by Wario, Waluigi, the KBM staff, as well as those of their former employers Koopra Sport and ToadGate. A statue of Dribble and Spitz was placed next to one of Wario in downtown Diamond City.

Rest in peace, Dribble and Spitz.

[Rob Dylan]

Round 12 - Airship Fortress

The final round of the Star Cup was mired again in controversy about injuries and driver safety. In practice, Nic Hammerton had yet another nasty crash relating to parts falling off of his kart. He lost steering and drove head first into the fiery underbelly of the airship, injuring himself heavily yet again. While the doctor said he would be fighting fit again with a few rounds to go, the MIA extraordinarily stepped in and ordered Hammerton to rest until 2006.

In the actual race, Kokkoro Toudou threw it off the track yet again, and really doesn't look like the capable driver to win the championship this year. When Pipsy Astromouse crashed in qualifying and was unable to recover enough positions, this left it to Dixie Kong to finish a really strong second and jump within a few points of the lead of the championship. If she wins this year, it will be her first championship since 2000. Peach won the event itself from pole, while Toad took a great third place, and looks dazzlingly close to stealing third overall from Kokkoro.

Koopa Kolorado replaced the late Dribble & Spitz, and Timber Tiger managed to qualify the ToadGate on his debut for the team, but retired early in the race.

Overall, Dixie Kong wins the Cup, and it looks like we have a close two-way fight in the final four rounds.

[Rob Dylan]

MIA issues ultimatum to ToadGate

After the proven inadequate safety of ToadGate's a-spec kart, the MIA are issuing an ultimatum that the team, by the end of the season at the latest, must run a safe kart that is fast enough to qualify, otherwise Toadsworth's group will not receive a place on the 2006 grid. Toadsworth has been working tirelessly day and night to have the b-spec kart, dubbed "the ToadGate Rainbow", ready on the grid, but it has instead suffered blow-ups on both its testing appearances.

It is due to make another appearance at the upcoming test, and the ultimatum means the team will have to run it in anger by Rainbow Road at the latest, or they will not be back in 2006.


Project Mario warns of further protests

Mario Mario, the outspoken two-time Diddy Kong Racing champion, has warned of further protests by himself and his team in response to the after-effects of Dribble & Spitz's death (at his commissioned race circuit). With the dilly-dallying done by King Boo, current MKDA representative, it seems that Signore Mario is attempting to take advantage from some weakness in the governing body and to build up his protest movement against the MIA and MKDA. Multiple Mario Kart drivers have floated the idea behind closed doors of switching from the MKDA to the MIA, and the latest planned protest may involve that to some extent.

The second side of the protest originates from Mario's grudge against Pipsy Astromouse, who currently leads the standings. She had received a two-race penalty in DKR that she never served, and Mario is making the ridiculous demand that she serve that penalty now as a way of using leverage against MK. Will Boo fiddle while Mario Kart burns? Probably.

[Aislabie]

MIA issues ultimatum to ToadGate

After the proven inadequate safety of ToadGate's a-spec kart, the MIA are issuing an ultimatum that the team, by the end of the season at the latest, must run a safe kart that is fast enough to qualify, otherwise Toadsworth's group will not receive a place on the 2006 grid. Toadsworth has been working tirelessly day and night to have the b-spec kart, dubbed "the ToadGate Rainbow", ready on the grid, but it has instead suffered blow-ups on both its testing appearances.

It is due to make another appearance at the upcoming test, and the ultimatum means the team will have to run it in anger by Rainbow Road at the latest, or they will not be back in 2006.

The ToadGate Rainbow will debut at Rainbow Road. It is going to be the fastest and safest kart ever made at its price point.

[NickyDustyOwl]

King Boo has announced his other proposal heading into the...final cup of 2005

Ever since the Star Cup ended, I've been ridiculed and harassed about "not doing anything to make the sport safer." Despite my recent attempts to fix those problems. When we talked about the proposal of limiting the engine power for the next cup, only a selected few agreed with me on that. The....other side wanted to have their own people inspect the engines beforehand or straight up didnt want it to happen at all calling it unfair

So now, I have my next and hopefully final proposal. Since a lot of teams can't afford to make a kart thats safe in the final cup, hardly any team wants to limit the power of the engines...those damn muppets...I mean. But we're all scared of another driver dying or getting seriously injured. So I say this cancel the final cup. Since we can't agree on anything but wanna whine and whine and point fingers at the one guy who's actually TRYING to make this sport safer after my OWN F$$KING DRIVER DIED, lets not have a final cup at all and declare the current standings as they are. And if we can't agree on this, then I dont know WHAT people would want from me! Maybe they should try being in my shoes dealing with a divorce, drinking problems and the death of one of my own drivers...

[Rob Dylan]

King Boo said calmly.

[Rob Dylan]

In the early hours of this morning, some loud disturbances were reported in the industrial district of Mushroom City. At the Project Mario garage, it was reported that loud destructive sounds were heard, and that a large freight truck was moving in and out of the premises. Local Toad police were called in to investigate, who followed the truck, and found the suspect removing and destroying metal materials in the local dump with crusher machines.

As it was the middle of the night, the man – believed in rumours to be Signore Mario Mario, the ever popular and controversial team owner and racing champion – was immediately arrested for trespassing. Further counts of disturbing the peace were filed against the suspect, and it is understood that he spent the weekend in a cell, before paying his way out in bail money, and then paying off the relevant people to get a suspended sentence.
If it is Mario Mario, as has been reported, then this may have implications on the current situation regarding his team. A man known to make quick and not-very-well-thought-through decisions, Mario has a history of leaving project and teams – including his own – on a whim.

We expect a statement shortly.

[Rob Dylan]

In-Season Testing and Non-Championship Racing

After the recent drama at Project Mario, the team turned up to the non-championship race at Koopa Beach 2 without too much rigamarole. They hired Redsaurus as their second driver alongside Mario, who proceeded to bin his kart out of a great second place on the last lap. Banjo Kazooie won from pole with fastest lap, showing that the DPRK is a lean mean racing machine when its drivers can keep it on the road.



In the testing, Foreman Spike made his debut for ToadGate. He injured his wrist really badly when his Rainbow Kart spontaneously combusted with him inside of it. Although the adrenaline allowed him to escape mostly unscathed, it is estimated he will need to take up to a year to recover from the event. Koopra Sport led the test, with RBR catching up on pace and potentially throwing a spanner in the works if Mitsuyoshi intend to win this season (either one of them).


Straw Poll

Members of the MKDA were interviewed for a straw poll on what they want to see happen in the rest of the year, considering especially how dangerous the Star Cup was. After the responses (35% for imposing an engine power limit and 35% asking for no action or abstaining), the MIA decided to do absolutely nothing about the current situation, and the season will continue as normal from here. We expect the fallout from this to be not so good...

[Frogfoot9013]

In the early hours of this morning, some loud disturbances were reported in the industrial district of Mushroom City. At the Project Mario garage, it was reported that loud destructive sounds were heard, and that a large freight truck was moving in and out of the premises. Local Toad police were called in to investigate, who followed the truck, and found the suspect removing and destroying metal materials in the local dump with crusher machines.

As it was the middle of the night, the man – believed in rumours to be Signore Mario Mario, the ever popular and controversial team owner and racing champion – was immediately arrested for trespassing. Further counts of disturbing the peace were filed against the suspect, and it is understood that he spent the weekend in a cell, before paying his way out in bail money, and then paying off the relevant people to get a suspended sentence.
If it is Mario Mario, as has been reported, then this may have implications on the current situation regarding his team. A man known to make quick and not-very-well-thought-through decisions, Mario has a history of leaving project and teams – including his own – on a whim.

We expect a statement shortly.

I denounce the slanderous reporting against my good name and character from the Goomba Gazette! I will be immediately taking swift action through all means necessary to halt the publication's production for publishing such untruths!
[/quote]

[Rob Dylan]

Round 13 - Wario Stadium



It was a jam-packed event, a full house no less. This is because everyone at Wario Stadium had already bought tickets before the five-time world champion decided to retire this summer. Nobody died or got hurt! Timber Tiger and Whomp King were both unable to qualify, while Mario Mario made some form of protest by deliberately DNQing from the event. His teammate Para Troopa drove normally and was promptly fired post-race for not towing the line on team orders.

Kokkoro led the pack away from another pole, while Pipsy's race was buggered by Toad hitting her very dangerously at the first corner. There were a number of retirements in the midfield, not least limited to Banjo Kazooie and Lemmy Koopa (the latter's first retirement), that made it relatively attrition-heavy. Then the biggest name, Kokkoro herself, crashed into the fire ring on the last lap and retired. It's her fifth (that's right, fifth) retirement from pole this season, and the result allowed Pipsy to take the lead by default and win the race ahead of Toad. Toad was promptly disqualified from the race, promoting Conker T. Squirrel to second and Peach to third. Dixie, who had a dreadful start and fell down the order, rose to sixth and still within championship contention, but really everything looks like it's going Pipsy's way now.



After the event, Para Troopa was signed by KBM to take Petey Piranha's place. His place at Project Mario was taken by Larry Koopa.

[Rob Dylan]

Round 14 - Peach Gardens



Pipsy won this event from pole, while Dixie finished a strong second behind her. The two are now the only remaining championship contenders. Kokkoro messed up in qualifying, and didn't recover in the race. Toad likewise had a terrible qualifying and never jumped up the order. Larry Koopa impressed on his return with a 7th for Project Mario, while Para Troopa didn't do so bad either for KBM.

[Rob Dylan]

Round 15 - Bowser's Castle



Dixie couldn't have timed an upturn in form better when she took a strong pole at Bowser's Castle. Her direct competitors were behind her, with Banjo providing a useful buffer to Pipsy. In the race, Pipsy had a dreadful start, dropping nearly to the back, while an attrition-filled first lap took out many important contenders. Dixie herself was heartbroken when her kart gave up in the final sector, handing the championship to Pipsy for free. Kokkoro inherited the lead and didn't relinquish to the end of the race.

This means that Pipsy Astromouse is the 2005 Mario Kart champion! Koopra Sport wins the constructors' championship at the same time!

Following the race, Waluigi was penalised heavily for a collision with Para Troopa, and the two points from his sixth place were shared elsewhere.

Also following the race, Mario Mario was involved in a punch-up with an official. The MIA decided to penalise the Italian by fining his team rather than banning him for a race, and so the Italian pulled out in protest anyway to garner some sympathy from his insufferable fans. One round to go at Rainbow Road and 2005 will be done.

[Rob Dylan]

Round 16 - Rainbow Road



The season finale saw the top three in the championship duke it out yet again. Pipsy took pole position from Dixie Kong, with Peach and Kokkoro there in the mix. Mario missed this final round, with Whomp King taking his place.

It was a relatively straightforward event at the front, while half of the backmarkers crashed out into space, including Lemmy and Larry Koopa almost simultaneously. Kokkoro fought for the lead against Pipsy to the very end, besting her teammate at the final corner of the final lap, causing Astromouse to fly off the track into space. Kokkoro took the win, so Koopra Sport took a victory in every race in the 2005 Special Cup. The only other time this has happened was when Daisy and Luigi won all the races in the 2000 Star Cup for SSL.

Final Drivers' Standings


Final Constructors' Standings


Oh yeah also Toadsworth died in a spontaneous Rainbow ToadGate combustion. The explosion almost killed Timber Tiger, and sort of wounded King Boo. RIP Toadsworth 1944-2005.

[Rob Dylan]

Season Awards

Reject of the Year award goes to Waluigi. The two-time world champion put all of his eggs in the SSL/Luigier basket when he left BMW in acrimonious circumstances last year. However, it looks to have been the exact wrong call. With Daisy leaving on sabbatical, the team seemed to instantly fall apart, with a terrible chassis and no luck in the races. Waluigi, who should really have been leading the team, instead spent almost every race wallowing in 12th if not retiring sooner. He could not beat teammate Luigi, who had been recovering from over a year of injury team. Somehow, with a 43-year-old Wario Jumpman on the grid, Waluigi looked like the most washed up driver out there.

Unfulfilled Potential of the Year award goes to Peach Toadstool and Banjo-Kazooie. This is a formidable duo, and since the change in regulations in 2003 we have seen the team go from strength to strength. In 2005 they approached the season with their best chassis yet, and probably their strongest driver pairing. However, in 32 entries they racked up no less than 15 retirements. Countless opportunities, such as at the six-car race, the drivers either binned it in qualifying or binned it in the race. The team lost third in the championship to Red Bowser Racing solely on account of their own inability to reach the end of a three-lap race.

Choke of the Year award goes to Kokkoro Toudou. Racking up eight poles from fifteen attempts, she crashed out of five races while leading. If she had kept her kart on track, she could have been the most dominant Mario Kart driver in the history of this series. As it is, she didn't even finish runner-up.

Most Self-Respect award goes to Birdetta Birdo. After a lacklustre 2003, one of the most talented drivers on the grid was astonished to find herself without a seat in 2004. Birdo instead started her own team on meagre means, but with a great development plan and good relations with the other manufacturers, she and Birdette Racing went from strength to strength, and in the end she stole 10th in the championship.

Underrated Driver of the Year award goes to Para Troopa. Although he kept himself very quiet most of the year, Para was apparently always at odds with team principal Mario Mario over the direction of the team, and their involvement in various protests throughout the year. Although he didn't win in the original PM a-spec vehicle, he outscored Mario 17-2 in the b-spec kart, and another 5-0 when Para moved to the (apparently) inferior KBM kart.

Infinite Improbability Drive of the Year award goes to Pipsy Astromouse. The last driver to be signed for 2005, she made the perfect call to join the late-starting Koopra Sport, who entered the season with the best kart on the grid by a mile. She dominated when it was best to do so, and kept her kart on track when the more rated Kokkoro did not. She beat the two-time champion Dixie Kong head-to-head. And all this when she was recovering from injury only last year. It's the feelgood championship, probably of this decade, and nobody other than Mario could possibly begrudge her it.

Determined B*stard of the Year award goes to Nicolas Hammerton. He tried the Rainbow ToadGate kart twice, never qualified, got fired from Birdette for underperforming, and still has Birdo as his manager. He's either really brave or really stupid. Seeing that he has been injured twice, we'll go with the latter.