The worst thing you can say on winning the F1 Championship

FullMetalJack · Post by **FullMetalJack** » 30 Jul 2010, 22:26

A follow on from Shortest F1 Books, I'm hoping that it's going to be as popular. I'll start us off with a few.

See Michael, That's how you drive someone off the track.

Now to get rid of these steroids before someone finds out.

I tell you, those guys don't half like their pre-race beers.

Now to pursue a singing career.

Thanks Timo, here's that 50 I owe you.

Let's hear your suggestions.

shinji · Post by **shinji** » 30 Jul 2010, 22:33

"Well, that was a lark. Let's get back to NASCAR."

"The car was crap, can't believe I won to be honest. I suppose I'm just that awesome."

"I offer this Championship up to Obi-Wan, he was always with me."

"Hey, this can't be taken off me can it? 'Cos some dodgy stuff went down..."

"Uh... I no English..."

"I did not win this World Championship. Neither did the team. This one was all done by my girl Nicole! Love you babes!"

"See this? This proves I'm better than all of you. In your face, you snivelling, pathetic, failed bags of flesh."

"I thought you got in to some kind of actual club? They're always banging on about the Elite Club!"

Post by **DemocalypseNow** » 30 Jul 2010, 22:39

"We won fair and square" by Michael Schumacher, 1994.

"You're sacked" by Williams, 1996.

"I'm bored, so I'll just bugger off for a bit" by Nigel Mansell, 1992.

thehemogoblin · Post by **thehemogoblin** » 30 Jul 2010, 22:39

"I'd like to thank the FIA for this championship..."

FullMetalJack · Post by **FullMetalJack** » 30 Jul 2010, 23:49

Boy, Max must have really liked those Nazi prostitutes I hired for them.

RejectSteve · Post by **RejectSteve** » 31 Jul 2010, 05:39

"This one's for all the guys back at the factory: Flavio, Andrea, Pat, Nigel, Nelsinho..."

"My teammate only slowed down in half the races to let me though. Thank god nobody heard that."

"This means nothing to me. Now last night with Michibata and Schrrrrrznnnngggggrrr. Whooo!"

Any singing - especially from Schrrrrznnnngggggrrr.

coops · Post by **coops** » 31 Jul 2010, 08:16

kostas22 wrote:"I'm bored, so I'll just bugger in a bit" by Kimi Raikkonen, 2007.

Debaser · Post by **Debaser** » 31 Jul 2010, 08:56

"I've won already??? Piece of piss that championship was"

"Now I've won, time to give my moustache some of that fine American fresh air"

"I only had to give Jean half my salary, that's an improvement on last year!!!"

"To all our spies and computer hackers at the McLaren HQ and the McLaren Photocopying Shop, thanks guys!!!"

"I'll be channelling the spirit of Frank Booth when celebrating tonight, you betcha!!!"

FullMetalJack · Post by **FullMetalJack** » 31 Jul 2010, 11:24

I've won!!! Best turn the Playstation off now.

dr-baker · Post by **dr-baker** » 31 Jul 2010, 11:35

Couldn't have done it without team orders absolutely every race.

coops · Post by **coops** » 31 Jul 2010, 13:34

"For sure" about fifty times.

P_Friesacher · Post by **P_Friesacher** » 31 Jul 2010, 16:10

"Oh crap, I won?! Sorry, Luca and Fernando!"

dr-baker · Post by **dr-baker** » 31 Jul 2010, 16:50

Do we have active suspension on this car? We do? What about flexi-wings? A 1000 hp quad-turbo engine from a Bugatti made from light-weight rare-metal alloys? Wow, even Piquet Jnr could have won with this. No, wait, he was my subserviant teammate, wasn't he?

coops · Post by **coops** » 31 Jul 2010, 18:29

"This now proves I am a better driver than ZSOLT BAUMGARTNER!!!!"

Reverie Planetarian · Post by **Reverie Planetarian** » 31 Jul 2010, 22:01

"I'm actually the crew chief; the champ was fall-down drunk during the whole season, but if he WERE here, he'd just be going 'BLERRRRRRGH' and falling off the podium."

ADx_Wales · Post by **ADx_Wales** » 31 Jul 2010, 22:44

"I'd like to thank my sponsor.........Hitler"

Reverie Planetarian · Post by **Reverie Planetarian** » 31 Jul 2010, 22:47

"Ooh, hey! Champagne!"

Post by **DemocalypseNow** » 01 Aug 2010, 01:08

"Ehhhh...someone remind me, what did I just win? Please tell me it was an iPod!"

Klon · Post by **Klon** » 01 Aug 2010, 01:23

ADx_Wales wrote:"I'd like to thank my sponsor.........Hitler"

I can top that one:
"Now, with me becoming the second German to win a world championship, I really can't say much more than: SIEG HEIL!"

"Here's my teammate ... hey, buddy, I'd like to remind you that you're my b***h now!"
"Oh, a female reporter. You wanna have a champion's baby?"

And really black humour:
"I'd like to dedicate this victory to the loose tyre that took care my rival. THANK YOU, TYRE, I LOVE YOU! ... ... Why, yes, I know that he's dead."

Phoenix · Post by **Phoenix** » 01 Aug 2010, 21:48

"Now that my buddy Balestre has taken care of tht Brazilian bitch, let's enjoy a good omelette du fromage under the Eiffel tower with my Maranello mates."-1989
"Jim, dude, come here. I owe you something...Oh, yeah, it was a tough battle, really. I'm very glad with the result."-1961
"I've trounced my team mate. I'm the f*cking best in the f*cking world!"-2004
"I've talked to them, but just after that, I don't know how, their relationship worsened badly. Now gimme the Magnum!"
-2007

FullMetalJack · Post by **FullMetalJack** » 01 Aug 2010, 22:01

It was Chris Dagnall driving the car all along.

Debaser · Post by **Debaser** » 01 Aug 2010, 22:16

"Magnum??? F**k that s**t!!! Fosters!!!" (See Blue Velvet to understand that)

"You talkin' to me??? You talkin' to me???"

"I have to thank my teammate - he's three seconds a lap slower than me and has two spare girlfriends. Thanks buddy!!!"

"We'll be partying to the Pussycat Dolls all night long"

"Do I win a new Gillette razor for winning the title??? Good, Daddy can teach me how to shave now!"

"Heil Hitler!!!"

ADx_Wales · Post by **ADx_Wales** » 01 Aug 2010, 22:29

"I'd like to thank God............"

Phoenix · Post by **Phoenix** » 02 Aug 2010, 15:20

"I'm very glad for my achievement. It's really an honour to be the last winner of the FIA Formula One Championship before everyone moving to the new parallel series that...Oh, crap. I think I shouldn't have said that..."

dr-baker · Post by **dr-baker** » 02 Aug 2010, 21:29

Thanks Cal Naughton, Jr for always being there for me. Shake'n'bake!

FullMetalJack · Post by **FullMetalJack** » 02 Aug 2010, 22:39

What did I miss?

DonTirri · Post by **DonTirri** » 03 Aug 2010, 02:23

"See? Thats what you need to do to beat Schumi. Just have the best car in the grid, a subservient teamie, a dick of a team principal and a bit of less than honest trickery!" 2005

"Eh, so what if Pironi got his legs smashed in, is that my fault? Gimme my cigarette, I'm the champ baby!" 1982

"Peterson? Who's that? OH you mean my swedish manservant. He died? Who cares, i'm the champ!" 1978

"Thank god the FIA is stupid enough to think that crash wasn't intentional..." 1994

"Haha, Lauda's a pussy! It wasn't so bad out there!" 1976

thehemogoblin · Post by **thehemogoblin** » 03 Aug 2010, 04:34

"Think of it as war reparations." -- 1961

Captain Hammer · Post by **Captain Hammer** » 03 Aug 2010, 06:42

"And I'd like to thank Nelson Piquet Jnr. for his invaluable help this season on the strategy side of things."

Waris · Post by **Waris** » 03 Aug 2010, 13:47

"I didn't really have to do anything. We had the best car, all I did was drive it around a bit."

Phoenix · Post by **Phoenix** » 03 Aug 2010, 16:15

"Damon Hill, you're a butterhands useless. I can't believe someone can make so many silly mistakes during a season. Even that dick of Verstappen, who me and Flavio rescued from that coffee shop to be my team-mate, could've beaten you. Or Johnny, for that matter. And now, I'm going to beat you with Ferrari to complete your humiliation! Haaa haaa! You, Eddie, come see me at the motorhome in a minute. We need to talk businesses."-1995
"My skills as a mechanic proved vital for my championship campaign."-1950

Shizuka · Post by **Shizuka** » 03 Aug 2010, 16:23

"Thanks Jarno" - Hakkinen, Suzuka, 1998
"Rubens, I'll almost bash you on the wall in seven years on the track we got both titles two years ago! But thanks for winning this race!" - Schumacher, Suzuka, 2003

Cynon · Post by **Cynon** » 11 Aug 2010, 18:11

"Now it's time for me to actually go race in series that require actual driving talent. I'm going to drive in IndyCar next season, and I'm going to drive in the NASCAR races at Dover, Darlington, and all the road courses."

Depending on your point of view, that might actually be the best thing you could say...

"The reason we signed Dennis Vitolo as a teammate was so we could make our champion driver look even more godly when the car basically drives itself." -- Any Team Boss.

Phoenix · Post by **Phoenix** » 12 Aug 2010, 14:14

"I hope Prost broke both his legs, the f*cker."-1990

Klon · Post by **Klon** » 12 Aug 2010, 15:26

Phoenix wrote:"I hope Prost broke both his legs, the f*cker."-1990

To be honest, I have no reason to not believe this was what Senna actually thought.

Post by **mario** » 12 Aug 2010, 20:25

It reminds me of the film that Top Gear put together about Ayrton Senna - and it is actually quite well made, with quite a large number of drivers talking about him. Of course, Brundle featured, talking about Senna's F3 years, where they were showing footage of a very scary crash between Brundle and Senna. Basically, Senna threw his car down the inside of Brundle going into a very fast right hand corner, leaving Brundle no time to react. When the two finally came to rest, it finished with Senna's car on top of Brundle's, pressing down on his shoulder and pinning him in the cockpit of his car. And, of course, there was the 1990 Japanese GP, where, at the very least, it seems that Senna did not care if Prost ended up being injured.

And yet, Brundle pointed out the time when Senna famously stopped and helped Erik Comas escape from his car in 1992 at Spa - so we have the strange dichotomy of a man prepared to risk his own life to help save someone else, and yet was also prepared to risk his life, and potentially that of Prost as well, for his own personal benefit.

Phoenix · Post by **Phoenix** » 12 Aug 2010, 23:16

mario wrote:It reminds me of the film that Top Gear put together about Ayrton Senna - and it is actually quite well made, with quite a large number of drivers talking about him. Of course, Brundle featured, talking about Senna's F3 years, where they were showing footage of a very scary crash between Brundle and Senna. Basically, Senna threw his car down the inside of Brundle going into a very fast right hand corner, leaving Brundle no time to react. When the two finally came to rest, it finished with Senna's car on top of Brundle's, pressing down on his shoulder and pinning him in the cockpit of his car. And, of course, there was the 1990 Japanese GP, where, at the very least, it seems that Senna did not care if Prost ended up being injured.

And yet, Brundle pointed out the time when Senna famously stopped and helped Erik Comas escape from his car in 1992 at Spa - so we have the strange dichotomy of a man prepared to risk his own life to help save someone else, and yet was also prepared to risk his life, and potentially that of Prost as well, for his own personal benefit.

Senna was a man who could've done everything (except commiting murderings) to win, but what he did to Prost was mainly an act of revenge after what Prost did to him last year, as well as the decision of denying him the right to choose the side where he would start the race (he was the poleman), probably because he thought Balestre wanted Prost to win the championship. However, his rock-solid human values meant if he had to risk his live to save anyone's, he wouldn't have hesitated to do so, even if it was Prost's.

shinji · Post by **shinji** » 13 Aug 2010, 00:29

Phoenix wrote:
mario wrote:It reminds me of the film that Top Gear put together about Ayrton Senna - and it is actually quite well made, with quite a large number of drivers talking about him. Of course, Brundle featured, talking about Senna's F3 years, where they were showing footage of a very scary crash between Brundle and Senna. Basically, Senna threw his car down the inside of Brundle going into a very fast right hand corner, leaving Brundle no time to react. When the two finally came to rest, it finished with Senna's car on top of Brundle's, pressing down on his shoulder and pinning him in the cockpit of his car. And, of course, there was the 1990 Japanese GP, where, at the very least, it seems that Senna did not care if Prost ended up being injured.

And yet, Brundle pointed out the time when Senna famously stopped and helped Erik Comas escape from his car in 1992 at Spa - so we have the strange dichotomy of a man prepared to risk his own life to help save someone else, and yet was also prepared to risk his life, and potentially that of Prost as well, for his own personal benefit.

Senna was a man who could've done everything (except commiting murderings) to win, but what he did to Prost was mainly an act of revenge after what Prost did to him last year, as well as the decision of denying him the right to choose the side where he would start the race (he was the poleman), probably because he thought Balestre wanted Prost to win the championship. However, his rock-solid human values meant if he had to risk his live to save anyone's, he wouldn't have hesitated to do so, even if it was Prost's.

So what you're saying is, if Prost had been seriously injured in Senna's intentional crash, Senna would have gone to try and save him?

eagleash · Post by **eagleash** » 13 Aug 2010, 00:36

Hey James dude thanks for taking care of Ronnie yeah. & It's all set up to blame Riccardo yeah. 1978

ADx_Wales · Post by **ADx_Wales** » 13 Aug 2010, 00:37

Thats one in the eye for Felipe. 2008.