My choices for 1996.
Australia -
Martin Brundle - Managed to crash twice at the same corner.
Brazil -
Rubens Barrichello - All he seemed to do that race was try and fail to overtake someone going into the Senna S, before throwing away a certain points finish with a silly spin.
Argentina -
Pedro Diniz - Drove like a tool, then caught fire.
Europe -
Jean Alesi - Awful start, then makes a typically brainless move on Salo a lap later, coming off second best. How Salo continued from that whack, I'll never know.
San Marino -
Footwork - Both cars retired shortly after one another.
Monaco -
Eddie Irvine - I can see where Paul Dumbrell got his inspiration from for Sydney 2011. What a muppet, spin-turning straight into Salo and Hakkinen. And before that, he was being absolute shite anyway.
Spain -
Damon Hill - A truly dreadful afternoon.
Canada -
Gerhard Berger - A silly spin.
France -
Ferrari - An engine failure on the parade lap? It doesn't get more pathetic than that. Then Irvine retires after 5 laps.
Great Britain -
Ferrari - They may as well have not bothered turning up, it was that bad. A grand total of 5 laps and both cars out.
Germany -
Johnny Carwash - Manages to DNQ in a not so bad Minardi. And that infamous video of him blissfully unaware that his car is a raging inferno.
Hungary -
Hungaroring - Just your typical Hungarian snoozefest.
Belgium -
Arrows - Sending Verstappen back on track in a deathtrap when they should have retired him immediately.
Italy -
Stacks of tyres - Foolish and yet doubtlessly hilarious.
Portugal -
McLaren - The cardinal racing sin of team mates colliding.
Japan -
Benetton - Alesi writes off his B196 at the first corner, and Berger drives like an arse for the rest of the race.
Honourable mentions.
AustraliaJacques Villeneuve's engine denying him something quite amazing.
Forti for being a billion miles from clearing 107%
Jean Alesi, yet another over-ambitious move that wrecked his sidepod.
BrazilJacques Villeneuve/Williams. Surely they'd have given him some wet weather testing beforehand?
Sauber'. Both cars out through engine failure.
ArgentinaTarso Marques screwing himself over by crashing into Brundle, undoing all of the good work that he'd done before that.
EuropeBenetton. What was up with their cars at the start?
Tyrrell for having both their drivers disqualified for completely different reasons.
MonacoOookay, where to begin here.
Jos Verstappen and Ricardo Rosset for being so damn shite in practice that Arrows were left with just two intact nosecones before the race had even begun.
Jos Verstappen for starting on slicks.
The Minardi drivers taking each other out on the first lap.
Michael Schumacher. Words fail me.
The engine in Hill's Williams.
Luca Badoer.
Ah feck it, just award ROTR to the
entire field bar Panis, Coulthard, Herbert and Hill instead.
SpainMika Salo for getting himself disqualified again.
CanadaFerrari.
Great BritainRicardo Rosset for being probably the first driver to get himself a penalty for missing a weight check.
GermanyGerhard Berger's engine
BelgiumThe Saubers taking each out at the start