Anyone got a good F1 joke?

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FullMetalJack
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Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by FullMetalJack »

I've got one, it was about my football team but i've renamed it.

Nick Heidfeld got a call from a dog food company requesting to sponsor Nick for the next few years. Nick thought about it for a moment and said to himself, Winalot, they must be taking the piss.

Let's hear them.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by Valrys »

Andrea Moda.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by MinardiFan95 »

Whats the difference between a golf ball and an Andrea Moda?
You can easily drive a golf ball more than 18 meters.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by crazydude1992 »

Whats the difference between a bus driver and Jack Villeneuve?
One is a highly skilled professional driver, the other is in F1.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by fjackdaw »

One my dad told years and years ago.

Two boys are in hospital in a coma. The first boy is a huge Nigel Mansell fan, so his mother arranges for Nigel to record a special message for him to try and bring him out of the coma. Nigel kindly obliges and sends back a tape. The mother sets the tape going and waits for a flicker of activity from her son.
"Hi Gavin, this is Nigel Mansell," says the voice on the tape, "and I'm going to be spending the next 90 minutes reading you stories and telling you jokes..."
At which point, the second boy wakes up, leaps out of bed, and switches the tape off.


(I think my dad's delivery was better).


Another favourite of my pop's:

"Who won the 1977 Formula 1 Championship?"
"Lauda."
"I SAID..."
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by FullMetalJack »

fjackdaw wrote:Another favourite of my pop's:

"Who won the 1977 Formula 1 Championship?"
"Lauda."
"I SAID..."


:lol: That one cracked me up.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by shinji »

HWNSNBM Facts has a load of Chuck Norris jokes made relevant to F1. Signature making heaven, that thread.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by DemocalypseNow »

redbulljack14 wrote:
fjackdaw wrote:Another favourite of my pop's:

"Who won the 1977 Formula 1 Championship?"
"Lauda."
"I SAID..."


:lol: That one cracked me up.


What? Lauda won the 1977 Formula 1 Championship.
lol.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by fjackdaw »

kostas22 wrote:
redbulljack14 wrote:
fjackdaw wrote:Another favourite of my pop's:

"Who won the 1977 Formula 1 Championship?"
"Lauda."
"I SAID..."


:lol: That one cracked me up.


What? Lauda won the 1977 Formula 1 Championship.
lol.


It's a pun on Lauda/Louder
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by DemocalypseNow »

fjackdaw wrote:It's a pun on Lauda/Louder


My rebound joke was crap anyway. I got it. Moving on...
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by Ben Gilbert »

not sure if this is too good, but I'll give it a go. It's quite a long one though:


Two drivers for a backmarker team are sitting in the garage. There's ten minutes left of qualifying, and they're currently 24th and 25th in the charts, but know that they'll drop down soon. Knowing that he went as fast as possible, the first driver decided against going out for one last run, to save his car for the next race. The second driver, a little more optimistic, gets back in the car and heads down the pitlane for a last ditch effort.

Ten minutes later, quali has ended, and their times of got them through on the last row of the grid. The first driver is still staring at the timesheets when his team-mate walks back in.

"How the hell did that happen?" the first driver asks as he comes back to his senses. The second driver smiles.

"Did you see me going out of the pits?" he asks.

"Yes." The second driver points at the driver in 28th, a driver in a much faster car who's time was a banker lap.

"He didn't," and the first driver looks over his shoulder, to see that the rear wing on his team-mate's car is gone.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by shinji »

Ben Gilbert wrote:not sure if this is too good, but I'll give it a go. It's quite a long one though:


Two drivers for a backmarker team are sitting in the garage. There's ten minutes left of qualifying, and they're currently 24th and 25th in the charts, but know that they'll drop down soon. Knowing that he went as fast as possible, the first driver decided against going out for one last run, to save his car for the next race. The second driver, a little more optimistic, gets back in the car and heads down the pitlane for a last ditch effort.

Ten minutes later, quali has ended, and their times of got them through on the last row of the grid. The first driver is still staring at the timesheets when his team-mate walks back in.

"How the hell did that happen?" the first driver asks as he comes back to his senses. The second driver smiles.

"Did you see me going out of the pits?" he asks.

"Yes." The second driver points at the driver in 28th, a driver in a much faster car who's time was a banker lap.

"He didn't," and the first driver looks over his shoulder, to see that the rear wing on his team-mate's car is gone.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yl3UMO-TkE
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by Shadaza »

Why did Buemi and Alguersari retire from the Singapore GP?

Because it was past their bed time.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by RejectSteve »

Overtaking Working Group - and that's all I have to say.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by FullMetalJack »

Shadaza wrote:Why did Buemi and Alguersari retire from the Singapore GP?

Because it was past their bed time.


LMAO, that was a good one.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by CarlosFerreira »

fjackdaw wrote:"Who won the 1977 Formula 1 Championship?"
"Lauda."
"I SAID..."


That was just brilliant. Proper lough-out-loud stuff. :lol:
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by Phoenix »

OK, here I go...

What do Andrea de Cesaris and a demolition company have in common?
(Apart of destroying things)They both have big balls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

C'mon, please laugh!!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by Thunderer »

What do a lorry on the A1* and Grosjean have in common?

*British readers understand!

One has to contend with bumper-to-bumper-traffic, the other is slow!
I don't know what Deletraz is doing either...
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by lostpin »

Once upon a time, David Coulthard and Michael Schumacher went on a Safari trip to Africa. Dusk was upon them, so they decided to set up the tents, and they both went to sleep. In the middle of the night, DC hears a strange noise that puts him out of sleep. He stares out of the tent to see that Michael is chased by a raging lion around his tent. DC screams at him:

Hey Michael, why don't you climb up that tree behind your tent? The lion can't catch you there.

And Michael replies:

Don't worry David, I'm three laps in front of him...
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by DemocalypseNow »

Thunderer wrote:What do a lorry on the A1* and Grosjean have in common?

*British readers understand!

One has to contend with bumper-to-bumper-traffic, the other is slow!


Shouldn't that be the M25? :D
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by Klon »

Well, a less funny one.

What's the difference between Rubens Barrichello and The Simpsons?
- Rubens Barrichello was still good in his 17th season.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by Winterspring »

Klon wrote:Well, a less funny one.

What's the difference between Rubens Barrichello and The Simpsons?
- Rubens Barrichello was still good in his 17th season.


But it is damn true.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by Phoenix »

Winterspring wrote:
Klon wrote:Well, a less funny one.

What's the difference between Rubens Barrichello and The Simpsons?
- Rubens Barrichello was still good in his 17th season.


But it is damn true.


I don't think so.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by Enforcer »

Klon wrote:Well, a less funny one.

What's the difference between Rubens Barrichello and The Simpsons?
- Rubens Barrichello was still good in his 17th season.


I like that one.

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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by FullMetalJack »

Enforcer wrote:
Klon wrote:Well, a less funny one.

What's the difference between Rubens Barrichello and The Simpsons?
- Rubens Barrichello was still good in his 17th season.


I like that one.

Black cats don't let Mark Webber walk across their path in case they get bad luck.


Lol, they should have painted his Jaguar F1 car black, it would have suited him.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by Kuwashima »

fjackdaw wrote:Two boys are in hospital in a coma. The first boy is a huge Nigel Mansell fan, so his mother arranges for Nigel to record a special message for him to try and bring him out of the coma. Nigel kindly obliges and sends back a tape. The mother sets the tape going and waits for a flicker of activity from her son.
"Hi Gavin, this is Nigel Mansell," says the voice on the tape, "and I'm going to be spending the next 90 minutes reading you stories and telling you jokes..."
At which point, the second boy wakes up, leaps out of bed, and switches the tape off.


Ahhhhh yes. Nige. Eloquent Il leone. I distinctly remember watching a Clive James New Year's Special ages and ages ago and they had this special clip of Nigel Mansell droning on and on and on and on in relentless, soul-destroying monotone. It was quite comical.

Sorry, I don't have a joke. Just wanted to share that memory.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by Reverie Planetarian »

What's the difference between Brawn GP and a roll of Brawny?
One cleans up a mess and the other's a paper towel. (Thanks for giving us someone to root for this 2009 season, fellas!)

Why can't Murray Walker tell tool-asssisted video game runs from normal runs?
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by shinji »

Not a joke but always makes me laugh*

MacLaren buggies
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*I am deficient in pronouns
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by Jordan »

I think Grosjean and Buemi are racing something similar in the paddock, no?

shinji wrote:Not a joke but always makes me laugh*

MacLaren buggies
Image

*I am deficient in pronouns
"Grosjean has a great desire to turn around and look at the corner he's just gone through, too many times per lap or per session, he's always spinning that Renault"
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by DemocalypseNow »

Jordan wrote:I think Grosjean and Buemi are racing something similar in the paddock, no?

shinji wrote:Not a joke but always makes me laugh*

MacLaren buggies
Image

*I am deficient in pronouns


WHen I was 4 years old I had a MacLaren buggy (I was a lazy toddler LOL), and I used to think it was the same as the F1 car, and I had the best buggy in the world :lol:
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by tristan1117 »

kostas22 wrote:
Jordan wrote:I think Grosjean and Buemi are racing something similar in the paddock, no?

shinji wrote:Not a joke but always makes me laugh*

MacLaren buggies
Image

*I am deficient in pronouns


WHen I was 4 years old I had a MacLaren buggy (I was a lazy toddler LOL), and I used to think it was the same as the F1 car, and I had the best buggy in the world :lol:


I used to think that Maclaren and Mclaren were made by the same company.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by Jordan »

When I wear my Jordan F1 sweater, people think I just have a sweater with my name on it
"Grosjean has a great desire to turn around and look at the corner he's just gone through, too many times per lap or per session, he's always spinning that Renault"
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by DemocalypseNow »

In between contract negotiations, Jenson Button went to see a Fortune Teller.
She said to him, "There will be a lot of money coming your way very soon."
As Button walked out the teller's shop, he got run over by a Securicor van.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by watka »

Jordan wrote:When I wear my Jordan F1 sweater, people think I just have a sweater with my name on it


I'm afraid that if I go out with my Jordan cap on, uneducated people will think it is associated with Katie Price, not the F1 team.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by Waris »

watka wrote:
Jordan wrote:When I wear my Jordan F1 sweater, people think I just have a sweater with my name on it


I'm afraid that if I go out with my Jordan cap on, uneducated people will think it is associated with Katie Price, not the F1 team.


Funnily enough, Katie Price has been associated with the F1 team.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by Jordan »

Waris wrote:
watka wrote:
Jordan wrote:When I wear my Jordan F1 sweater, people think I just have a sweater with my name on it


I'm afraid that if I go out with my Jordan cap on, uneducated people will think it is associated with Katie Price, not the F1 team.


Funnily enough, Katie Price has been associated with the F1 team.


But never with me, and we have the same name/pseudonym in common!
"Grosjean has a great desire to turn around and look at the corner he's just gone through, too many times per lap or per session, he's always spinning that Renault"
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by Alianora La Canta »

My Jordan gear doesn't tend to attract many comments... ...but my first (yellow) Jordan cap did attract about half Silverstone's population of flies (plus a wasp, but strangely no hornets) when I put it on for qualifying of the 2002 British Grand Prix. I had to take it off after five minutes because Dad was getting worried about what would happen when the flies worked out that I wasn't wearing a giant flower on my head.

With hindsight, perhaps I should have bought the black version...
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by Jordan »

Buzzin' hornets make for bitten heroes



Alianora La Canta wrote:My Jordan gear doesn't tend to attract many comments... ...but my first (yellow) Jordan cap did attract about half Silverstone's population of flies (plus a wasp, but strangely no hornets) when I put it on for qualifying of the 2002 British Grand Prix. I had to take it off after five minutes because Dad was getting worried about what would happen when the flies worked out that I wasn't wearing a giant flower on my head.

With hindsight, perhaps I should have bought the black version...
"Grosjean has a great desire to turn around and look at the corner he's just gone through, too many times per lap or per session, he's always spinning that Renault"
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by thehemogoblin »

Buzzing hornets should make you be on edge.
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Re: Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Post by Alianora La Canta »

:lol: Nice ones, Jordan and thehemogoblin!
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