You know you are a (wannabe) race driver on the road when...

WeirdKerr · Post by **WeirdKerr** » 08 Jun 2016, 21:47

When you see an abandoned or broken down car at the roadside you ask yourself where were the yellow flags....
When you are stuck behind an slow car or tractor you ask where are the blue flags.....
When you attempt to out brake other folk and send one down the inside at a roundabout.....
When you find yourself muttering "look but never stare" at traffic lights Followed by "GO GO GO!!!! In the voice of Murray Walker.......

Nessafox · Post by **Nessafox** » 08 Jun 2016, 22:15

When you 'change drivers' with a random stranger when he stops at a gas station.

AustralianStig · Post by **AustralianStig** » 08 Jun 2016, 23:11

When you follow an ambulance down the road, as if you're following the car that just lapped you and overtaking all the other lapped cars.

Nessafox · Post by **Nessafox** » 09 Jun 2016, 01:58

When you're slipstreaming to overtake a Ligier electrical vehicle.

Meatwad · Post by **Meatwad** » 09 Jun 2016, 03:28

As a pedestrian in a city, I hate bicyclists. When they do something really idiotic, I find myself thinking what I would say if I had a team radio...

AustralianStig · Post by **AustralianStig** » 09 Jun 2016, 06:40

Meatwad wrote:As a pedestrian in a city, I hate bicyclists. When they do something really idiotic, I find myself thinking what I would say if I had a team radio...

"What are we even doing here? Seriously!"

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 09 Jun 2016, 07:24

When you take the racing line on roundabouts when there are no other cars about.

When you cadence brake even though your car has ABS

When you do racing style gear shifts - and keep having to replace the exhaust as a result!

When you try to do a Alesi style start and beat other cars lined up next to you off traffic lights

When the road is wet and you try to use 'virgin' road, where there is more grip.

When you short shift gear changes because you can't be bother to stop for petrol that day

When you slipstream down motorways in order save more petrol

When you enjoy how light your car is, when it is running low on petrol

When you 'open' the steering wheel around certain bends to save front tyre wear.

When someone cuts you up, and you become determined to overtake them back just to get revenge.

....no frustrated racing driver to be found here :lol:

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 09 Jun 2016, 07:48

When you dap the brakes before going over a pothole/crack in roundabout in order to get the weight over the front tyres and help them grip a little more.

madmark1974 · Post by **madmark1974** » 09 Jun 2016, 08:54

When you wonder why it's taking ATS more than 5 seconds to change your tyres.

When you close all your windows to 'reduce drag'.

When you fold your back seats down for better weight distribution.

When you put on Fleetwood Mac's The Chain and speed up when the guitar solo comes on.

When you find a running partner on the motorway and stay behind them for ages (just like Coulthard and Bernoldi).

When you're stuck in a queue behind a slow car or tractor or something and think of it as a 'Trulli Train'.

When you see products like Magneti Marelli mentioned and only know the name from the bridge at Monza. In the UK,
the same applies with Repsol and the 500cc / MotoGP Hondas.

When you deliberately avoid certain products because some team or driver you dislike are associated with them
(i.e. deliberately not choosing Bridgestone tyres because of Ferrari or not choosing Vodafone because of McLaren).
Or, you know, not going out and buying a Ferrari just because it's made by Ferrari ...

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 09 Jun 2016, 12:39

When you pretend a really slow car ahead of you on a single lane road is a safety car.

When you pretend the motorway information boards are just fancy pit boards.

AxelP800 · Post by **AxelP800** » 09 Jun 2016, 12:57

When you by chance are on the first on the traffic light queue and tried to launch as soon as the red light dims/green light turns on

Nessafox · Post by **Nessafox** » 09 Jun 2016, 13:13

When you stay inside, hoping that the time you've driven earlier that day will be enough to get you to work.

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 09 Jun 2016, 13:21

This wrote:When you stay inside, hoping that the time you've driven earlier that day will be enough to get you to work.

Last xmas I was working and throughout the holiday period the roads were really quite. So each day I was trying to beat my 'personal best time' to & from work. Just so I could stay in bed that extra 30 seconds or so.

Peteroli34 · Post by **Peteroli34** » 09 Jun 2016, 21:16

When your stuck behind a car on a country lane you wonder where the blue flags are.

Overtaking a police car as if you been allowed pass the safety car

Nessafox · Post by **Nessafox** » 09 Jun 2016, 21:30

Stopping at one of the thousands of snackbars on the road called pit-stop, or a very belgian thing: frit-stop. :facepalm:

UncreativeUsername37 · Post by **UncreativeUsername37** » 10 Jun 2016, 08:20

You wonder if it's okay to overtake on the shoulder as long as you keep a wheel on the line

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 10 Jun 2016, 08:30

When it starts raining and you think about adjusting the tyre pressures to suit the conditions

When you put the roof back on in a convertible when it starts raining and you secretly tell yourself that is your wet weather setup.

When you do that hand swirl gesture before you start the engine

When you give yourself a hard time for missing the apex at the last roundabout by 1/2 a meter

When you 'lift & coast' up to junctions & traffic lights and secretly tell yourself that your doing exactly the same thing as all the currrent F1 drivers

When you lean into a corner, like Alesi used to during his F1 career.

When ATS call to tell you your service is done & your disappointed that Günther Schmid hasn't risen from the dead, reformed the team, and has given you the drive.

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 10 Jun 2016, 08:34

UgncreativeUsergname wrote:You wonder if it's okay to overtake on the shoulder as long as you keep a wheel on the line

Like when you join the motorway and you don't want to join it too early in case you get busted for crossing the unbroken white line like R Schumi when leaving the pitlane at Nurburgring in 2001.

Row Man Gross-Gene · Post by **Row Man Gross-Gene** » 11 Jun 2016, 17:07

I can't believe no one has said these (at least I think they haven't).

When you swerve back and forth to get heat into the tires.
When you complain that your car has too much downforce.

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 11 Jun 2016, 18:17

When you don't think the engine is loud enough...so you start making your own engine noise.

Nessafox · Post by **Nessafox** » 11 Jun 2016, 23:31

When you're travelling south and decide to take a detour to drive on the roads east of the Francorchamps circuit.

leywso · Post by **leywso** » 12 Jun 2016, 07:07

When you come up behind a lorry with a Bouyges construction firm logo on it and say excitedly to your wife, "ooh, looks like I'm about to lap Philippe Streiff in his AGS..."

[This happened to me yesterday. To say my wife was perplexed is an understatement.]

Benetton · Post by **Benetton** » 12 Jun 2016, 10:12

When you are driving on a country road which has turns and you are trying to chase down cars ahead of you and overtaking them and putting this on

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MzQC43s01c&list=PL6FB1EDA6F0685D02&index=9

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 12 Jun 2016, 14:00

When you start naming corners around your home town.I call this one "Petite Eau Rouge"

https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.74920 ... 312!8i6656

WeirdKerr · Post by **WeirdKerr** » 12 Jun 2016, 14:34

ibsey wrote:When you start naming corners around your home town.I call this one "Petite Eau Rouge"

https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.74920 ... 312!8i6656

ive done this with various corners on routes I drive on.... one corner is cascades as there is a house called cascades on the corner lol

roblo97 · Post by **roblo97** » 12 Jun 2016, 15:43

When you are able to determine when to change up by listening to the engine note.
When you think that L plates are a way of letting other drivers know that you are aiming for a better licence.
Yeah, I am still learning!

dr-baker · Post by **dr-baker** » 12 Jun 2016, 18:33

When you plan your holidays around driving street tracks that are open to normal traffic (driven the Manx TT several times and was unable to drive round Monaco due to road closures).

dinizintheoven · Post by **dinizintheoven** » 12 Jun 2016, 21:41

I've walked round Monaco. Does that count?

(Evidence)

Post by **Bobby Doorknobs** » 12 Jun 2016, 22:32

dinizintheoven wrote:I've walked round Monaco. Does that count?

(Evidence)

I've also walked around Monaco (I lack evidence, however).

And I've walked around the more obscure Wicklow Circuit...

AustralianStig · Post by **AustralianStig** » 13 Jun 2016, 01:10

roblomas52 wrote:When you are able to determine when to change up by listening to the engine note.

Ironically, I believe most F1 teams now set up a beep in the earpiece of the driver for when to upshift, so even they don't listen to the engines.

Aguaman · Post by **Aguaman** » 13 Jun 2016, 05:37

AxelP800 wrote:When you by chance are on the first on the traffic light queue and tried to launch as soon as the red light dims/green light turns on

This is me to a tee.

Also I would say thinking about what would be the best line to take on suburban roads with one big lane.

dr-baker · Post by **dr-baker** » 13 Jun 2016, 13:00

dinizintheoven wrote:I've walked round Monaco. Does that count?

(Evidence)

Only if you were trying to take the racing line for at least the first two miles of the lap.

Nessafox · Post by **Nessafox** » 13 Jun 2016, 14:23

You get very slow away from traffic lights and pretend you're Mark Webber.

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 13 Jun 2016, 14:32

This wrote:You get very slow away from traffic lights and pretend you're Mark Webber.

You accidentally set off from the traffic lights in 2nd gear and pretend your Nigel Mansell in Mexico 1986.

Or accidentally set off from the traffic lights in reverse gear and pretend your Nigel Mansell in Long Beach in 1982.

FullMetalJack · Post by **FullMetalJack** » 13 Jun 2016, 17:35

This wrote:When you're slipstreaming to overtake a Ligier electrical vehicle.

I imagine if it's Rene Arnoux in that Ligier, you'll still be stuck behind him now.

WeirdKerr · Post by **WeirdKerr** » 13 Jun 2016, 19:22

ibsey wrote:
This wrote:You get very slow away from traffic lights and pretend you're Mark Webber.

You accidentally set off from the traffic lights in 2nd gear and pretend your Nigel Mansell in Mexico 1986.

Or accidentally set off from the traffic lights in reverse gear and pretend your Nigel Mansell in Long Beach in 1982.

or you wave to someone on a hairpin and accidently switch off your engine and pretend your Nigel Mansell in Canada '91

tBone · Post by **tBone** » 13 Jun 2016, 22:17

AxelP800 wrote:When you by chance are on the first on the traffic light queue and tried to launch as soon as the red light dims/green light turns on

In 's-Hertogenbosch, a city near where I live, they actually are running an experiment on traffic lights. They count down from 3 to 1 before the green light appears. It makes launching a lot easier and it feels like you're in Need for Speed games or something alike.

I'm not sure about its actual benefits for traffic flow, by the way.

Nessafox · Post by **Nessafox** » 13 Jun 2016, 22:37

tBone wrote:
AxelP800 wrote:When you by chance are on the first on the traffic light queue and tried to launch as soon as the red light dims/green light turns on

In 's-Hertogenbosch, a city near where I live, they actually are running an experiment on traffic lights. They count down from 3 to 1 before the green light appears. It makes launching a lot easier and it feels like you're in Need for Speed games or something alike.

I'm not sure about its actual benefits for traffic flow, by the way.

It's not that experimental, i've even seen this in third world countries

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 14 Jun 2016, 07:05

When you pretend the temporary speed limit signs on a motorway is a VSC.

Yesterday I was driving my girlfriend's car which is much slower than mine. Accelerating out of a roundabout onto a dual carriage way there was several cars in my mirror or passing me around the outside before I could say holy bathplug. Now I know how Deletraz must have felt like.

CoopsII · Post by **CoopsII** » 14 Jun 2016, 07:40

When you leave some twat swamped in cars because the idiot tried to overtake you on a roundabout.

Nice try dickhead.