Grand Prix Rejects

In Soviet Russia, races predict you! Hello and welcome back to the 2021 Predicament Predictions championship, where we predict what's going to happen in every upcoming race of the championship. The winner gets grand prizes! While we get our reports up and the Italian GP scored up, let's go ahead with planning Sochi for now.



Here's your blank slate for this weekend:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Pole:
Fastest lap:
First retirement:
Reject of the Race:
Infinite Improbability Drive of the Race:
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race:
Minor League Premiership:
How Far Back:

There is always a point for the funniest race title you can come up with. The Minor League Premiership for this round contains Nikita Mazepin, Mick Schumacher, Yuki Tsunoda. You can also use double points at any time you like



Judging by Bottas' pace in Monza and that he goes well around here, I'm going to guess that this will be the final, grand victory of his career.

1. Valtteri Bottas
2. Max Verstappen
3. Lewis Hamilton
4. Sergio Pérez
5. Daniel Ricciardo
6. Lance Stroll
7. Lando Norris
8. Charles Leclerc
9. Pierre Gasly
10. Fernando Alonso

Pole: Valtteri Bottas
Fastest lap: Valtteri Bottas
First retirement: Mick Schumacher (another Haas collision)
Reject of the Race: Sebastian Vettel (while driving in 5th he just throws it off the road for no reason)
Infinite Improbability Drive of the Race: Antonio Giovinazzi (crazy good performance let down by Alfa Romeo)
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Sebastian Vettel
Minor League Premiership: Yuki Tsunoda
How Far Back: 2 laps


As always, the deadline is the end of FP3 on Saturday if you don't want a penalty added. Good luck everyone

2021 RAF (Not That One) Grand Prix

1. Hamilton
2. Verstappen
3. Bottas
4. Leclerc
5. Norris
6. Perez
7. Ocon
8. Vettel
9. Sainz
10. Gasly

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Hamilton
First retirement: Mazepin
Reject of the Race: Mazepin
Infinite Improbability Drive of the Race: Russell
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Stroll
Minor League Premiership: Tsunoda
How Far Back: 2 laps

Must-win race for Alfa
1. Giovinazzi
2. Räikkönen
3. Alonso
4. Ocon
5. Gasly
6. Latifi
7. Russell
8. Schumacher
9. Stroll
10. Pérez

Pole: Giovinazzi
Fastest lap: Giovinazzi
First retirement: Hamilton/Verstappen (L1 collision)
Reject of the Race: Mercedes
Infinite Improbability Drive of the Race: Alfa
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Verstappen
Minor League Premiership: Schumacher
How Far Back: 7 laps

1. Hamilton
2. Verstappen
3. Bottas
4. Norris
5. Ricciardo
6. Leclerc
7. Sainz
8. Gasly
9. Alonso
10. Russell

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Hamilton
First retirement: Both Haases
Reject of the Race: Pérez
Infinite Improbability Drive of the Race: Alfa Romeo
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Tsunoda
Minor League Premiership: Tsunoda
How Far Back: 1

The 2021 "Hammer and Sickle Time" Grand Prix

1. Hamilton
2. Norris
3. Bottas
4. Ricciardo
5. Sainz
6. Verstappen
7. Gasly
8. Perez
9. Leclerc
10. Alonso

Pole: Bottas
Fastest lap: Verstappen
First retirement: Mazepin crashing into Schumacher at the first corner
Reject of the Race: Aston Martin
Infinite Improbability Drive of the Race: Verstappen (up from last to third before a botched pit-stop)
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Stroll
Minor League Premiership: Tsunoda
How Far Back: 1

Großer Preis der Wahl zum 20. Deutschen Bundestag

1. Hamilton
2. Bottas
3. Gasly
4. Verstappen
5. Pérez
6. Leclerc
7. Sainz
8. Norris
9. Vettel
10. Alonso

Pole: Bottas
Fastest lap: Hamilton
First retirement: Ricciardo
Reject of the Race: Tsunoda
Infinite Improbability Drive of the Race: Haas
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Tsunoda
Minor League Premiership: Tsunoda
How Far Back: 2

2021 EastCars Support Race

1. Hamilton
2. Bottas
3. Norris
4. Verstappen
5. Gasly
6. Ricciardo
7. Sainz
8. Leclerc
9. Ocon
10. Alonso

Pole: Bottas
Fastest lap: Hamilton
First retirement: Perez
Reject of the Race: "Valtteri, it's James..."
Infinite Improbability Drive of the Race: Gasly
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Ricciardo
Minor League Premiership: Tsunoda
How Far Back: 2

2021 Put(t)in on a Show Grand Prix

1) Bottas
2) Hamilton
3) Leclerc
4) Verstappen
5) Norris
6) Gasly
7) Sainz
8) Alonso
9) Perez
10) Vettel

Pole: Bottas
Fastest Lap: Hamilton
First Retirement: Latifi
ROTR: Perez
IIDOTR: Vettel
DBTMOTR: Tsunoda
MLP: Tsunoda
Laps behind: 2

Double Points

2021 [insert hackneyed Soviet Russia joke here] Grand Prix

1. Hamilton
2. Bottas
3. Norris
4. Verstappen
5. Pérez
6. Ricciardo
7. Leclerc
8. Vettel
9. Sainz
10. Alonso

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Hamilton
First retirement: Ocon
Reject of the Race: Alpha Tauri
Infinite Improbability Drive of the Race: Vettel
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Stroll
Minor League Premiership: Tsunoda
How Far Back: 2

2021 Lada Grand Prix sponsored by Lard

1. Bottas
2. Norris
3. Hamilton
4. Verstappen
5. Pérez
6. Ricciardo
7. Gasly
8. Alonso
9. Sainz
10. Ocon

Pole: Bottas
Fastest lap: Bottas
First retirement: Giovinazzi
Reject of the Race: Leclerc
Infinite Improbability Drive of the Race: Norris
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Leclerc
Minor League Premiership: Tsunoda
How Far Back: 2

Mazepin's Dad's Riva could handle rain better than this Grand Prix 2021

1. Bottas
2. Hamilton
3. Norris
4. Gasly
5. Verstappen
6. Sainz
7. Vettel
8. Leclerc
9. Perez
10. Alonso

Pole: Bottas
Fastest lap: Verstappen
First retirement: Ocon
Reject of the Race: FIA/Race Management
Infinite Improbability Drive of the Race: rain
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Tsunoda
Minor League Premiership: Tsunoda
How Far Back: +2

1. Bottas
2. Norris
3. Hamilton
4. Verstappen
5. Ricciardo
6. Perez
7. Sainz
8. Gasly
9. Alonso
10. Vettel

Pole: Bottas
Fastest lap: Bottas
First retirement: Schumacher
Reject of the Race: Tsunoda
Infinite Improbability Drive of the Race: Bottas
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Tsunoda
Minor League Premiership: Tsunoda
How Far Back: +1 Lap

Wasn't Russian my entry in fast enough:

1. Verstappen
2. Hamilton
3. Norris
4. Bottas
5. Perez
6. Ricciardo
7. Ocon
8. Gasly
9. Russell
10. Alonso

Pole: Bottas
Fastest lap: Perez
First retirement: Marzipan
Reject of the Race: Tsunoda
Infinite Improbability Drive of the Race: Russell
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race:Vettel
Minor League Premiership: Tsunoda
How Far Back: 1 lap

[

Rain Stops Play

1. Hamilton
2. Bottas
3. Norris
4. Verstappen
5. Ricciardo
6. Perez
7. Leclerc
8. Gasly
9. Sainz Jr.
10. Alonso

Pole: Bottas
Fastest lap: Hamilton
First retirement: Raikkonen
Reject of the Race: Perez
Infinite Improbability Drive of the Race: Bottas
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Tsunoda
Minor League Premiership: Tsunoda
How Far Back: 2 Laps

1. Hamilton
2. Bottas
3. Norris
4. Verstappen
5. Perez
6. Ricciardo
7. Gasly
8. Leclerc
9. Sainz Jr.
10. Alonso

Pole: Bottas
Fastest lap: Hamilton
First retirement: Raikkonen
Reject of the Race: Tsunoda
Infinite Improbability Drive of the Race: Norris
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Tsunoda
Minor League Premiership: Tsunoda
How Far Back: 2 Laps

1. Lewis Hamilton
2. Val Bottas
3. Charles Leclerc
4. Lando Norris
5. Sergio Perez
6. Lance Stroll
7. Carlos Sainz
8. Max Verstappen
9. Sebastian Vettel
10. Pierre Gasly

Pole: Bottas
Fastest lap: Perez
First retirement: Alonso
Reject of the Race: Rain
Infinite Improbability Drive of the Race: Stroll
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Russell
Minor League Premiership: Yuki
How Far Back: 0

2021 Vodka Cola Grand Prix

1. Hamilton
2. Bottas
3. Norris
4. Verstappen
5. Pérez
6. Gasly
7. Sainz
8. Ricciardo
9. Leclerc
10. Alonso

Pole: Bottas
Fastest lap: Verstappen
First retirement: Ocon
Reject of the Race: Alfa Romeo
Infinite Improbability Drive of the Race: Gasly
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Tsunoda
Minor League Premiership: Tsunoda
How Far Back: 3 Laps

VLAD IS RAD this is not government propaganda 2021 Vodka GP

1. Hamilton
2. Bottas
3. Leclerc
4. Verstappen
5. Gasly
6. Perez
7. Sainz
8. Alonso
9. Ricciardo
10. Ocon

Pole: Bottas
Fastest lap: Hamilton
First retirement: Norris
Reject of the Race: Aston Martin
Infinite Improbability Drive of the Race: Leclerc
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Tsunoda
Minor League Premiership: Tsunoda
How Far Back: 1 lap

1. Hamilton
2. Bottas
3. Norris
4. Verstappen
5. Gasly
6. Pérez
7. Leclerc
8. Sainz
9. Vettel
10. Ricciardo

Pole: Bottas
Fastest lap: Verstappen
First retirement: Mazepin
Reject of the Race: Alfa Romeo
Infinite Improbability Drive of the Race: Norris
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Tsunoda
Minor League Premiership: Tsunoda
How Far Back: 2 Laps

The Smiert Spionem GP

1. MAZ
2. MAZ
3. MAZ
4. MAZ
5. MAZ
6. MAZ
7. MAZ
8. MAZ
9. MAZ
10. MAZ

MAZ
MAZ
MAZ
MAZ
MAZ
MAZ
MAZ
MAZ
MAZ

2021 Grand Prix at Sochi Aquadrome

1. Lewis Hamilton
2. Valtteri Bottas
3. Lando Norris
4. Sergio Perez
5. Daniel Ricciardo
6. Max Verstappen
7. Charles Leclerc
8. Fernando Alonso
9. Pierre Gasly
10. George Russell

Pole: Lewis Hamilton
FLap: Lewis Hamilton
Retirement: Mick Schumacher

ROTR: The rain
IIDOTR: Nikita Mazepin
DBTMOTR: Yuki Tsunoda
HFB: +2 laps

This is exactly how I expected Hamilton to finish first and Verstappen second.

UncreativeUsername37 wrote:This is exactly how I expected Hamilton to finish first and Verstappen second.

Yes, of course it was.

And the results are in! Amazingly, in spite of the crazy race, many of the top 10 were actually rather ordinary candidates, to say nothing of our top two on the podium! Therefore, while the points spread was large, the actual average haul was surprisingly high. Let's get straight into the results:


Results
1. RAK 20**
2. mario 20
3. Aislabie 17*
4. UncreativeUsername37 16
5. Klon 16
6. Hermann95 16*
7. Londoner 15
8. Rob Dylan 14
9. CaptainGetz12 14
10. IceG 14
11. Enforcer 14***
12. tommykl 14
13. pi314159 14
14. Ducktanian 14
15. Miguel98 13
16. Aerond 12*
17. dr-baker 11
18. Batty 11
19. Fetzie 10
20. Frogfoot9013 4
21. You-Gee-Eee-Day 0*

*get no pole points for being late
**used double points
***funniest alternative race title


Where to begin? We have a double winner, first of all. RAK wins their third race this season, putting them at the front of that record for the time being. The other winner, SOMEHOW for the first time this season, is the fast-moving 2017 champion mario, who somehow manages to match RAK's score despite only one of them using double points. RAK, a three time champion himself, had a disastrous double points use.

Further down, dr-baker did little better, being vastly outscored by his (until now) main rival Aislabie. Otherwise in the great rivalry of our time, Klon was able to outscore Aerond by a significant margin, closing them up in their little fight.

And what about those standings?


Standings
1. Aislabie 232.5
2. dr-baker 227.5
3. mario 226.5
4. RAK 223
5. CaptainGetz12 221
6. Ducktanian 221
7. Fetzie 221
8. UncreativeUsername37 215.5
9. Enforcer 210.5
10. Hermann95 202.5
11. Londoner 202
12. Bleu 191.5
13. Miguel98 188
14. Aerond 187
15. tommykl 184
16. Klon 178.5
17. pi314159 173
18. Rob Dylan 165
19. Batty 163.5
20. Frogfoot9013 149.25
21. yannicksamlad 129
22. tBone 128
23. IceG 118.5
24. CarloSpace 110.5
25. You-Gee-Eee-Day 90
26. Pacific Edge 83
27. This Could Be You 60
28. takagi_for_the_win 45
29. WaffleCat 26
30. rachel1990 26
31. noiceinmydrink 23
32. Freeze-O-Kimi 17
33. Pilot 16
34. Gertrand Bachot 11
35. dj_vicious 9
36. Pieman 8
37. Spooder918 7


This result pushes Aislabie back ahead of dr-baker for the time being. But all the talk is now about mario, who has up until now been sitting a little bit off the front, is now perhaps the main championship contender. After all, he hasn't used his double points yet...

Where will it all go? Who knows! But get your predictions in before the end of FP3 tomorrow to sign up for Turkey

Considering that Russia has been a stalwart in double points usage before, that's probably the most hollow victory I've had in my history with the Predicament Predictions championship. Nevertheless, I don't seem to have lost ground here, since I was pulled up the rankings a few places. Still all to play for in a very close top 7, but obviously, mario's in a prime position here if he plays his own double points joker right.

RAK wrote:Considering that Russia has been a stalwart in double points usage before, that's probably the most hollow victory I've had in my history with the Predicament Predictions championship. Nevertheless, I don't seem to have lost ground here, since I was pulled up the rankings a few places. Still all to play for in a very close top 7, but obviously, mario's in a prime position here if he plays his own double points joker right.

No doubt that means I'll end up using it in another race that ends up being a strangely chaotic one where the overall points hauls are very low - I'd agree that Sochi was usually the sort of race which would have been a fairly solid bet to use double points, but this was the one time that things suddenly departed from the usual script.