Christmas Presents for the New Year's Podcast

Kuwashima · Post by **Kuwashima** » 24 Dec 2009, 00:14

Righty-oh everyone,

Our Give-Christmas-Presents-To-People-In-F1 segment will be making a return in the next podcast, so we'll throw it open to you all for inspiration. What gifts do you think Santa Claus (or your culturally appropriate variant thereof) will be leaving under the Christmas tree (or in the stocking, or your culturally appropriate variant thereof) for various members of the F1 world?

We will of course read some out on the podcast...

Cheers,
Jamie

thehemogoblin · Post by **thehemogoblin** » 24 Dec 2009, 00:18

I'd give Nick Wirth a wind tunnel.

shinji · Post by **shinji** » 24 Dec 2009, 00:20

I'd give Nico Rosberg courage, Jenson Button a brain, Lewis Hamilton a heart, and Michael Schumacher a pair of red shoes to get him home.

Frentzen127 · Post by **Frentzen127** » 24 Dec 2009, 02:17

I'd give Luca Badoer a drive.

RejectSteve · Post by **RejectSteve** » 24 Dec 2009, 07:30

I'd give Nelsinho Piquet a kick in the ass.

Nin13 · Post by **Nin13** » 24 Dec 2009, 08:42

A whip for Max........ Here is Bernie's last year's Chrismas card

And this year's Bernie's Chrismas card.........

Features the team bosses waving goodbye to Max Mosley. Meanwhile Flavio Briatore – depicted aboard a pirate rowboat – takes aim at his yacht with a harpoon.

Post by **Nuppiz** » 24 Dec 2009, 09:35

A good rally car for Räikkönen, and lots of good sponsorship for the new teams!

CarlosFerreira · Post by **CarlosFerreira** » 24 Dec 2009, 10:34

Some respect for USF1. Or maybe a car. Either.

Phoenix · Post by **Phoenix** » 24 Dec 2009, 12:18

The goddamned profile of Danny Ongais!

Debaser · Post by **Debaser** » 24 Dec 2009, 13:47

I think Heidfeld will receive a contract for DTM as a present, while USF1 will find as a present...a Baguette.

Post by **DemocalypseNow** » 24 Dec 2009, 14:17

My Christmas present for Toro Rosso: European Aviation buying the team back. We all know what that means...

Collieafc · Post by **Collieafc** » 24 Dec 2009, 17:20

Some Slim Fast for Nobert Haug

Post by **DemocalypseNow** » 24 Dec 2009, 17:31

USF1 drive for Chanoch Nissany.

thehemogoblin · Post by **thehemogoblin** » 24 Dec 2009, 20:46

That's not a harpoon, that's a rocket-propelled grenade.

tristan1117 · Post by **tristan1117** » 25 Dec 2009, 03:28

A Kamui Kobayashi figurine for Captain Hammer.
A job for ex-Toyota, now pseudo-Stefan GP employees, preferably writing driver profiles for F1 Rejects! No offense Enoch...
A Christmas card designed like a political cartoon for Bernie to send to everyone.
A T-Shirt autographed by Michael Jordan, Brett Favre, and Nigel Mansell that says "I'm Retired, Really" for Michael Schumacher.

dr-baker · Post by **dr-baker** » 25 Dec 2009, 18:35

I am sure that in previous New Year podcasts, there has been a section entitled, "10 Things We Didn't See in the Past Year." Well, Autosport have nicked this idea and got a written article with this very title! How very dare they!

http://www.autosport.com/news/report.php/id/80676

tristan1117 · Post by **tristan1117** » 25 Dec 2009, 22:39

I smell a lawsuit! What's next, the 1 word reviews?

Post by **DemocalypseNow** » 25 Dec 2009, 22:57

tristan1117 wrote:I smell a lawsuit! What's next, the 1 word reviews?

Autosport: Thieves.

eagleash · Post by **eagleash** » 25 Dec 2009, 23:50

thehemogoblin wrote:That's not a harpoon, that's a rocket-propelled grenade.

That's moderated that is.

tristan1117 · Post by **tristan1117** » 26 Dec 2009, 03:41

kostas22 wrote:
tristan1117 wrote:I smell a lawsuit! What's next, the 1 word reviews?

Autosport: Thieves.

A Horrid Thought: The difficulty Autosport writers would have describing Button or Hamilton with one word. Lewis-steria and Button-mania to the max.

MinardiFan95 · Post by **MinardiFan95** » 26 Dec 2009, 13:01

A superlicence for Yuji Ide
A race drive for Alex Yoong at Lot...Fondmetal Team Malaysia
A team for Paul Stoddart
A slow Mclaren for Hamilton and Button in 2010
...and finally
A spot on the 2010 grid for Stefan GP.

Klon · Post by **Klon** » 26 Dec 2009, 14:42

dr-baker wrote:I am sure that in previous New Year podcasts, there has been a section entitled, "10 Things We Didn't See in the Past Year." Well, Autosport have nicked this idea and got a written article with this very title! How very dare they!

http://www.autosport.com/news/report.php/id/80676

Y SO SRS, Autosport? With rational facts you won't win us over.

On-Topic:
- Loads of Ice Cream and Vodka to Kimi Räikkönen (old joke is old)
- A megaphone forJenson Button and Nico Rosberg so anyone will notice them next season.

watka · Post by **watka** » 26 Dec 2009, 22:09

Sponsorship from Munchi's for Jose Maria Lopez, which in turn coaxes Kimi Raikkonen to USF1.

Gags for Felipe Massa and Fernando Alonso next season to stop them from tearing Ferrari apart.

dr-baker · Post by **dr-baker** » 26 Dec 2009, 22:26

A semi-competitive car/chassis for each of the new teams yet to pass the crash test...

Post by **DemocalypseNow** » 26 Dec 2009, 23:07

watka wrote:Sponsorship from Munchi's for Jose Maria Lopez, which in turn coaxes Kimi Raikkonen to USF1.

Gags for Felipe Massa and Fernando Alonso next season to stop them from tearing Ferrari apart.

Does this mean Federico Villagra will be his team-mate next year?

fvanalst · Post by **fvanalst** » 27 Dec 2009, 05:31

2010 F1 race seat for HWNSNBM!
Honorary test drive for Mario Andretti for the US GP car
For Rubens "Just get in and drive the darn car and get on with it" book by Alan Jones, subtitled "How to get along with Frank Williams and Patrick Head without needing to feel loved and appreciated".
US GP showcar schedule list for all US F1 fans.
1990s version of Nurburgring track with original Castrol S 1st turn complex (instead of that Mercedes Arena complex) for rFactor.

dr-baker · Post by **dr-baker** » 27 Dec 2009, 10:20

kostas22 wrote:
watka wrote:Sponsorship from Munchi's for Jose Maria Lopez, which in turn coaxes Kimi Raikkonen to USF1.

Gags for Felipe Massa and Fernando Alonso next season to stop them from tearing Ferrari apart.

Does this mean Federico Villagra will be his team-mate next year?

That would be sooooooooo reject-worthy. Let's see it happen!

P_Friesacher · Post by **P_Friesacher** » 27 Dec 2009, 10:29

fvanalst wrote:Honorary test drive for Mario Andretti for the US GP car

Honorary race drive for Mario Andretti and Al Unser Jr. for USF1

Collieafc · Post by **Collieafc** » 27 Dec 2009, 12:23

P_Friesacher wrote:
fvanalst wrote:Honorary test drive for Mario Andretti for the US GP car

Honorary race drive for Mario Andretti and Al Unser Jr. for USF1

Or better, an honorary race Drive for Michael Andretti!

dr-baker · Post by **dr-baker** » 27 Dec 2009, 14:46

Collieafc wrote:
P_Friesacher wrote:
fvanalst wrote:Honorary test drive for Mario Andretti for the US GP car

Honorary race drive for Mario Andretti and Al Unser Jr. for USF1

Or better, an honorary race Drive for Michael Andretti!

With Marco Andretti as 3rd driver, ready to step in at a moment's notice?

watka · Post by **watka** » 27 Dec 2009, 21:43

dr-baker wrote:
kostas22 wrote:
watka wrote:Sponsorship from Munchi's for Jose Maria Lopez, which in turn coaxes Kimi Raikkonen to USF1.

Gags for Felipe Massa and Fernando Alonso next season to stop them from tearing Ferrari apart.

Does this mean Federico Villagra will be his team-mate next year?

That would be sooooooooo reject-worthy. Let's see it happen!

If Kimi, a one-time F1 champion, can go to rallying, I don't see why Federico Villagra, a multiple (Argentinian) rally champion can't go to F1!

Post by **DemocalypseNow** » 27 Dec 2009, 22:51

watka wrote:Sponsorship from Munchi's for Jose Maria Lopez, which in turn coaxes Kimi Raikkonen to USF1.

That's actually a big possibility, I think his older brother owns the company.

SuperAguri · Post by **SuperAguri** » 31 Dec 2009, 14:53

A F1 Rejects podcast competition for 2009/2010... :mrgreen:

dr-baker · Post by **dr-baker** » 31 Dec 2009, 17:10

SuperAguri wrote:A F1 Rejects podcast competition for 2009/2010...

...that doesn't rely on an ability to write poetry of any variety. A headline/pun-writing ability maybe...

Ross Prawn · Post by **Ross Prawn** » 31 Dec 2009, 18:02

Flavio Briatore - A false beard.

Fernando Alonso - A remote control for Massa's car.

Ron Dennis and Max Moseley, free grandstand seats at every GP for life, but next to each other.

McLaren - a paper shredder.

Jesus - a signed photo of Lewis Hamilton

Lewis Hamilton - a personality chip.

Jenson Button. A big wall to bang his head on through next season, every time he remembers his decision to sign on a Lewis's team-mate.

Mercedes - Poland

Jean Todt - Max's little black address book.

Nelson Piquet jnr - A trekking holiday in Antartica, prferably 12 months long.

Dave Ryan and Pat Symonds - reprieves

RejectSteve · Post by **RejectSteve** » 31 Dec 2009, 22:43

Ross Prawn wrote:Nelson Piquet jnr - A trekking holiday in Antartica, prferably 12 decades long.

I took the liberty to repair that for you.

Cynon · Post by **Cynon** » 01 Jan 2010, 01:31

dr-baker wrote:
SuperAguri wrote:A F1 Rejects podcast competition for 2009/2010...

...that doesn't rely on an ability to write poetry of any variety. A headline/pun-writing ability maybe...

A 17-word short story to describe the whole season?

TomWazzleshaw · Post by **TomWazzleshaw** » 01 Jan 2010, 09:49

RejectSteve wrote:
Ross Prawn wrote:Nelson Piquet jnr - A trekking holiday in Antartica, prferably till the end of time.

I took the liberty to repair that for you.

Now it's fixed :mrgreen:

dr-baker · Post by **dr-baker** » 01 Jan 2010, 11:23

Cynon wrote:
dr-baker wrote:
SuperAguri wrote:A F1 Rejects podcast competition for 2009/2010...

...that doesn't rely on an ability to write poetry of any variety. A headline/pun-writing ability maybe...

A 17-word short story to describe the whole season?

Did anybody say it should be easy? After all, there's a thread, trying to sum up the season in 1/17th of the length you're suggested...

CarlosFerreira · Post by **CarlosFerreira** » 01 Jan 2010, 11:54

Ross Prawn wrote:Jesus - a signed photo of Lewis Hamilton

...

Jenson Button. A big wall to bang his head on through next season, every time he remembers his decision to sign on a Lewis's team-mate.

More win than the Schumster himself. Epic!