Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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Rob Dylan
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Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

Post by Rob Dylan »

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Pipsy Astromouse, pictured top-left, started her career in 1997 as one of the golden generation of new talent that came out of Donkey Kong Country in that era.




Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to the most terrifying and life-destroying series in the known galaxies!


News
Well, what a surprisingly straightforward season 2005 was, in spite of all the death and injury. We had a brand-new champion for the first time since 2002, and the championship was sealed uncontroversially for the first time since 2001. Pipsy Astromouse, after quite a journeyman career in Diddy Kong Racing and in middling Mario Kart teams, came into her own perfectly to take an true upset championship last season. Although Dixie Kong and Kokkoro Toudou looked to be faster on pace half the weekends, it was in Pipsy's reliability that she was able to pile up the points and continuously extend her lead until the end of the year.

Now, Koopra Sport go into 2006 under the new-ish regulations as defending champions for the first time. Neither driver is officially signed yet, but the team have the best engine on the grid by a country mile. That alone helped push it ahead of Mitsuyoshi's powerhouse, as well as the ever-encroaching Red Bowser Racing. Whether the defending champions can build a solid all-round chassis for the new season and keep themselves at the top, is one of the most puzzling questions for the audience - and their prospective drivers.

Mitsuyoshi finished second again this year, this time to a new opponent. The team had their ups and downs, with middling performances from Wario and much more consistency from the rookie of the year Lemmy Koopa. Dixie Kong had something of a renaissance and was in the running for the championship to even beat Kokkoro Toudou in the driver standings. With eternal rivals RBR behind them, Mitsuyoshi will desperately want another championship here in 2006.

Red Bowser Racing, the new name of the marque that once operated as Bowser Motor Works, is always there or thereabouts. With enough funding and discipline, we expect them to get better and better after an "off-year" that saw them finish 3rd overall. Toad and Bowser Jr. are both signed and are both capable. We have no doubt about this team's ability - it's just where they are in relation to their rivals.

Donkard Peach Racing Kongection had a decent year in 2005 with two wins (one more than Mitsuyoshi and the same number as RBR). However, of 32 entries they recorded 15 retirements, either by mistake or karts breaking down. They could have beaten RBR if they had just been more consistent, and they desperately need to be consistent if they ever want to take a championship one day.

Koopra Kids were the most successful of the new teams last year. They rode off the success of Koopa Climax to take fifth overall, with a few very well-earned podiums. We know the least about their prospects next year, but they could do worse than their current line-up. It all depends what Iggy Koopa's hopes and dreams are, and if he can stay off the drink long enough.

Project Mario were lucky enough to skirt around the rules for the season opener, leading a 1-2 and hauling in a mountain of points that got them P6 overall. Mario quickly fell out with officialdom and fired his superior teammate, but hired him back again after the two made up. The team will probably use the prize money to great effect, but whether they will actually do anything worthwhile with the scrutineers bearing down on them, remains to be seen.

Birdette Racing started last year with arguably the worst chassis aside from ToadGate. However, with respectable upgrading, the team noticeably improved, especially in team leader Birdo's capable hands/paws. For her it was something of a comeback year, and them continuing to improve would be a good news story for this year.

Equipe Luigier spawned from Daisy leaving the co-run SSL. After her sabbatical, she has big plans to run a spec series with the MIA, leaving Luigi all alone to manage team affairs. And boy will he need some help after Luigier had only one podium to their name. Waluigi won Reject of the Year in 2005 as the lowest full-time racer by year-end. Surely it can't get worse.

King Boo Motorsports are at least looking to themselves the year before. After building a kart that couldn't finish (or sometimes even qualify) for races, in 2005 they were consistently slow but at least picked up occasional points. They went through a few drivers in an attempt to get some points on the board and to find out what works. The subpar BMW engine didn't help them, and with King Boo recovering from injury at the season finale last year, their hopes are spurious. Not to mention Boo's obligations as MKDA representative, and his re-election campaign in the works. Perhaps the most exciting team if not the most positively-hyped one.

Crygorti Corse are the new kids on the block. They were already slated to join Mario Kart this season with Dribble & Spitz as a Diamond City run group. However, with D&S sadly dying at Mario Circuit last year, Dr. Crygor has taken over the team with the same intentions. Independent team with an independent engine (and potentially Wario Jumpman in an advisory role), we expect good things from this new team.


New Rules
  • The old one-lap qualifying system will be replaced by an elimination system with three separate sessions, Q1-Q2-Q3.

The Grid

Koopra Sport

Team Principal: Koopa Troopa (DigitDan)

#1 Pipsy Astromouse
#2 Kokkoro Toudou

Mitsuyoshi Buntai

Team Principal: Yoshisaur T. Munchakoopas (Javi/Frentzen)

#3 Dixie Kong
#4 Donkey Kong

Red Bowser Racing

Team Principal: Donkey Kong Jr. (Hermann95)

#5 Toad Toadstool
#6 Bowser Jr.

Donkey-Peach Racing Kongection

Team Principal: Peach Toadstool (NessaFox)
Technical Director (day-to-day): Funky Kong (Ducktanian)

#7 Peach Toadstool
#8 Banjo Kazooie

Koopra Kids

Team Principal: Iggy Koopa (Pinguini)

#9 Conker T. Squirrel
#10 Larry Koopa

Project Mario

Team Principal: Mario Mario (Frogfoot9013)

#11 Para Troopa
#12 Kat & Ana

Birdette Racing

Team Principal: Birdetta Birdo (Novitopoli)

#14 Birdetta Birdo
#15 Morton Koopa Jr.

Equipe Luigier

Team Principals: Luigi Mario and Daisy von Sarasaland (TCBY and Pinkd)

#16 Luigi Mario
#17 Waluigi

King Boo Motorsports

Team Principal: King Boo (NickyDustyOwl)

#18 18-Volt
#19 Goombella

Crygorti Corse

Team Principal: Victor Crygor (Forti)

#20 R.O.B.
#21 Kritter Kremling


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The Calendar

Mushroom Cup
1. Figure-Eight Circuit [Mushroom Kingdom]
2. Yoshi Falls [Yoshi's Island]
3. Cheep Cheep Beach [Koopa Kingdom]
4. Luigi's Mansion [Mushroom Kingdom]

Flower Cup
5. Desert Hills [Yoshi's Island]
6. Delfino Square [Isle Delfino]
7. Waluigi Pinball [Mushroom Kingdom]
8. Shroom Ridge [Mushroom Kingdom]

Star Cup
9. DK Pass [Donkey Kong Country]
10. Tick-Tock Clock [Mushroom Kingdom]
11. Mario Circuit [Mushroom Kingdom]
12. Airship Fortress [Koopa Kingdom]

Special Cup
13. Wario Stadium [Wario Land]
14. Peach Gardens [Mushroom Kingdom]
15. Bowser's Castle [Koopa Kingdom]
16. Rainbow Road [Space]


Phase 1 (1992-1995) records
Phase 2 (1996-2002) records

Phase 3 (current) records
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

Post by Rob Dylan »

After many offers, Pipsy Astromouse re-signs with Koopra Sport for 2006.

Another drive with multiple offers, Banjo-Kazooie re-signs with DPRK.
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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Formula Power Flower - New Spec Series Comes to Marioverse!

Yes, you read it right. Finally, after years of planning, the MIA are launching a spec series that will act as a more "pure" form of racing. Eight drivers will be taking part in a short championship every year, in an effort to compare young and up-and-coming talent with some more experienced runners. Princess Daisy von Sarasaland has been organising the creation of this series behind the scenes, and she will be a co-owner and probably one of the eight drivers.

The series will be run similarly to Mario Kart, but with an emphasis on direct competition. The calendar will consist of six to ten former Mario Kart tracks. The points system will be the same as in the main series. One place on the grid will be given to a wildcard entry - we understand that five-time Mario Kart champion Wario Jumpman will be there at some point. Some races will be at the same time as the season and some will be during off-moments, so there is time for Mario Kart runners to do double duty.

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Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
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Rob Dylan
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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Mario Mario Drivers Association Invitational Announced!

By pure coincidence, a leaked memo made it into the hands of a Goomba Gazette reporter that says 2006 may feature a third series alongside Formula Power Flower. It is understood that Mario and the MMDA (a secret drivers' association whose membership does nothing for them in Mario Kart) are planning to refurbish and re-host a series of races on old, banned, disused and/or dangerous circuits around the Marioverse. Yet another passion project doomed to failure? Let's find out when the time comes.

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Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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Driver Sign-Ups

The seats are filling thick and fast. Mitsuyoshi signs Dixie Kong and Donkey Kong. Project Mario signs Para Troopa and Kat & Ana. Birdette Racing signs Birdo and Morton Koopa. Crygorti Corse sign R.O.B. and Kritter Kremling.
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
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Rob Dylan
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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Yoshi Assassination Case Re-Opens

In a move that will shock many, the MIA are co-operating with Mushroom police to re-open the investigation into the successful assassination attempt on the life of Yoshisaur T. Munchakoopas. Aside from any "new evidence" coming to light, the pursuing actors are looking to more effectively ascertain the motives and actions of all the central suspects. While these potential suspects have not been publicly named for libel concerns, it is understood that they will be encouraged to co-operate with the police in the coming months.

This is just the latest action on the part of Munchakoopas, who after taking the reins of Mitsuyoshi last season, is also looking to become MKDA representative for a second time, ten years after his death from complications after a gunshot wound in the spring of 1996.

More to follow in the coming months.
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
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Rob Dylan
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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More Signing News

Kokkoro Toudou puts pen on paper for Koopra Sport for another season, while rumour has it that a smaller team tried to snatch her up.

Goombella becomes the fourth new driver to make her debut in 2006, as she is picked up by KBM as their second driver. It is understood that KBM approached Wario Jumpman and other hot prospects for their first kart, but have until now been unsuccessful.
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
User avatar
Rob Dylan
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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Charity Fight Competition to Return!

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That's right! Eleven years after the famous Yoshi-Bowser fight, we're bringing it back for charity! It will be a smaller fight as part of a larger tournament featuring Yoshisaur T. Munchakoopas, Bowser Koopa, Peach Toadstool, Donkey Kong, Daisy von Sarasaland, with potential entry by the Mario brothers.

It will be hosted on the Discord server at some point in history.
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
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Rob Dylan
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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Luigi Victorious in Charity Fight Match

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After the embarrassing exits of both Yoshi and Bowser from the fighting tournament, Luigi was quite dominant in the final 4-person brawl, and won something for the first time since 2003! It should be reminded that all of this is for charity and has no effect on anything else whatsoever :roll:
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
User avatar
Rob Dylan
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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Tests and Opening Rounds

The teams, old and new, tested their karts under the 2006 regulations. The drivers looking like favourites for the season openers were Kokkoro, DPRK and the Mitsuyoshis. Pipsy has always been a few tenths off her teammate on single-lap pace, but she was expected to improve pace as always when the season proper began. Luigier especially were the most noticeably faster team on the grid, while RBR looked to be slower than they were last time out. Crygorti Corse did not embarrass themselves, and it was wonderful to have all ten teams actually be basically competent.

Once we reached the opening round at Figure Eight, the first surprise was Kritter Kremling's DNQ before we even got to qualifying. The new season is running an elimination qualifying format from this season onwards, so we had 19 karts enter. Project Mario and Luigier fought to get into the new top 10 format, while DPRK, Mitsuyoshi and Koopra Sport all vied for the top spot. Those teams look like the fastest of the teams, but Koopra Kids have also been fast all-round. In the race proper, there were some crashes and reliability retirements that saw only 10 finishers, and Mitsuyoshi scoring a 1-2 for the first time since DK Jungle Parkway back in 2001.

At Yoshi Falls, the pace just increased, and Kat & Ana joined Kremling on the sidelines as a DNQ. Mitsuyoshi kept their place at the top of the standings, and Dixie Kong was able to take pole. However, she bottled the start and lost the lead to Banjo-Kazooie, who held onto it to win the second race. Larry Koopa had taken third under controversial circumstances and were dropped off the podium, which promoted both the Mitsuyoshi runners. Kokkoro showed some promise for Koopra Sport after Pipsy suffered another retirement.

Then at Cheep Cheep Beach, Dixie Kong was able to take pole yet again. However, her engine blew up off the pier section on the opening lap and it allowed Donkey Kong to get past and win dominantly. I say dominantly, but Peach was able to take the lead after one of the all-time great opening laps took her from sixth to first by the end of the opening lap. Bowser Jr. punted off Banjo Kazooie, and the move was so egregious that the MIA awarded him a race ban. He will be succeeded by Lemmy Koopa for the final round of the Mushroom Cup.

Very high attrition all round. It looks like we have three teams at the top: Mitsuyoshi, DPRK, and Koopra Sport. However, every team has suffered quite serious reliability issues, so we await to see who actually develops a lead overall, if anyone.

Image
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
User avatar
Rob Dylan
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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Round 4 - Luigi's Mansion

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The final round of the Mushroom Cup saw Peach take centre stage. She took pole position and completely turned her season around when she won the race rather dominantly against Donkey Kong. The latter let sport live and crashed out on the last lap, promoting the Koopra Sports up to second and third. Although it's the weakest championship defence ever seen in Mario Kart so far, Pipsy at least has eight points on the table. 18-Volt took his first points, and the first points for any of the new runners. Kritter Kremling was just behind in P8, putting Crygorti Corse very close to their first ever points.
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
User avatar
Rob Dylan
Posts: 3440
Joined: 18 May 2014, 15:34
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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Mario Invitational Calendar Announced

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To get ahead of the competition (Formula Power Flower), Mario Mario has announced his own eight-kart "spec" series featuring Mario's own machinery from over the decades. It will be a four-round mini championship with eight entries. One of those entries will be Mario Mario himself, with seven invited guest drivers to join him.

The races will take place during the Mario Kart Special Cup in an attempt to draw viewing figures away from the real racing:

1. Donut Plains
2. Frosty Village (location pending)
3. Dino Dino Jungle
4. Hot Top Volcano (double points round)
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
User avatar
Rob Dylan
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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More News from Power Flower / Driver Reshuffles

Formula Power Flower announces its schedule will run two races during the Mario Kart summer break, then four races concurrent with the Star Cup, and a final two races in the autumn break. For seven of its eight rounds, former world champions such as Waluigi and Wario are scheduled to participate alongside newcomers and rookies of the sport. The intial plan of 11 rounds has been whittled down to 8, with Mario Circuit as one of the tracks on the chopping block - the Goomba Gazette has called this "a political choice".

The Mario Invitational is attracting some rather interesting talent of its own. Three-time DNQer of 2006 Kritter Kremling has been signed up to the series, meaning he will miss the Mario Kart Special Cup. Baby Mario has been confirmed alongside his father Mario Mario. Chunky Kong has signed up as well, and Wendy O. Koopa is returning to racing after many absent years. Foreman Spike, recovering from injury, is set to drive in another dangerous series before his surely imminent retirement. The Zelda Fitzgerald of the Marioverse, Pauline Williams also has a seat lined up for her with her ex-husband and current are-they-aren't-they lover. I'm sure whatever lineup we confirm now will be "reconfirmed" as the championship progresses over its mighty four races.

Wiz Pig has been signed for the last four races by Crygorti Corse. Meanwhile at Project Mario, Kat & Ana have been promptly fired for "not being winners". Mario Mario has promoted himself to the driver role, and will take part in the NC races and the Flower Cup, with former Mitsuyoshi boss Redsaurus driving in the second half of the season.
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
User avatar
Rob Dylan
Posts: 3440
Joined: 18 May 2014, 15:34
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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In-Season Testing, Rounds Five and Six, Another death for Mario Kart

The traditionally entrenched teams all brought a wave of updates for the Flower Cup, with unprecedented spending from all involved. The remaining five teams, most of whom it is understood are struggling financially, chose to gamble their fortunes to get some prize money for 2007. Waluigi was fastest in what appeared to be a turnaround of fortunes for Luigier. Meanwhile, in the NC race, Larry Koopa dominated for Koopra Kids and won the event ahead of Birdo and Goombella, who were the primary protagonists. Mario Mario made his comeback, but retired late on in the event, which was at Luigi Circuit. Testing took place at Moo Moo Farm.

For Round 5, Desert Hills, there was great pace for Bowser Jr. At the track he won last year, he qualified P2 and overtook polesitter Donkey Kong during the first lap. After a tense battle between the two of them, there was a collision at the pyramid which took Bowser Jr. out of the lead. Donkey Kong won the race but was immediately disqualified for dangerous driving by the stewards. This promoted an excellent comeback by Mario Mario to an even greater station: 2nd place! It was a very high attrition race, and even Waluigi took his first podium since 2004's Yoshi Circuit round. Crygorti Corse got their first points via ROB's sixth place. There were lots of happy faces by the end of the gruelling 3-lap event.

Things went sour at Delfino Square for Round 6. The Mitsuyoshis, who have been very strong this year, seemed to be nowhere at this circuit. Dixie Kong was in the lower points and Donkey Kong had engine issues in qualifying. Project Mario also slipped down the order, and DPRK weren't too much better. Red Bowser Racing had made such an improvement, as well as Koopra Sport, that the top 3 were all relatively low down in the standings. The event, dominated by Kokkoro Toudou, was completely overshadowed by the death of 18-Volt. The 18-year-old had made his debut this year for King Boo Motorsports, and crashed in the fountain section by flying off circuit and into a local shop.

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RIP 1988-2006
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
User avatar
Rob Dylan
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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MarioSport Magazine wrote:Suitability of MKDA Representative Called into Question after String of Deaths

Mario Kart has seen three on-track deaths in the last 9 months, and countless more injuries

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There is a lot of pressure currently being placed in public on Mario Kart Drivers' Association representative King Boo. Boo, who has led the drivers' group since 2004, faces a tough challenge in his re-election, mostly on grounds of public safety. When the MIA chose to take sympathy on the ailing ToadGate team after a series of injuries facing their drivers in testing or in practice, it was actually the KBM drivers Dribble & Spitz who were Mario Kart's first on-track fatalities. The racing world was in shock, but did nothing. Boo, the MKDA driver representative, floated the idea of a speed cap on the sport's fastest teams, but due to indecision no action was taken.

Further, it has come to light that Boo has made no contact with the MIA over the off-season to come to a solution on this. Safety rules have not been tightened up in any significant way into 2006, and as the karts get faster, they also get more dangerous. With the death of 18-Volt, these complaints are just getting louder and louder. Not to mention (though we will): both 18-Volt and Dribble & Spitz were King Boo's drivers! When Boo himself was injured as a result of the tragic ToadGate Rainbow explosion at the season finale last year, he continued to do absolutely nothing.

Now, his time appears to be running out. The election is coming up this summer, and there are multiple drivers planning to run against him. What can be done to fix Mario Kart?
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
User avatar
Rob Dylan
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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Mariosport Magazine wrote:Where have all the Rookies Gone?

With the recent announcement that Chunky Kong will supersub for the excluded Larry Koopa, Mariosport Magazine what has happened to derail the fortunes of the class of 2006. This season started with one of the largest groups of rookies ever seen in the sport, but before we even get to the summer break, there are only two left. 18-Volt of course tragically passed away in an avoidable accident, but Kat & Ana and Kritter Kremling were both fired in early days for poor performance. R.O.B. has scored a sixth place already and seems to be the best of the new bunch. With Goombella still pointless, one wonders if KBM won't get cold feet on their relationship too?

The question that comes to mind for this author is: is it time we solidified contracts? With a lack of attention and support for young drivers, how will they prosper? Perhaps a rigidifying of the rules may be in order for next year to make teams take the situation a little more seriously :implications:
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
User avatar
Rob Dylan
Posts: 3440
Joined: 18 May 2014, 15:34
Location: Andy Warhol's basement

Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

Post by Rob Dylan »

Power Flower Calendar Announced

Between Cups:
1. Baby Park (2003-2004)
2. Luigi Circuit (2003-2004)

Star Cup:
3. Moo Moo Farm (1996-2002)
4. Frappe Snowland (1996-2002)
5. Koopa Beach (1992-1995)
6. Choco Mountain (1996-2002)

Between Cups
7. Mushroom Bridge (2003-2004)
8. Yoshi Circuit (2003-2004)

The middle four rounds are happening concurrently with the Mario Kart Star Cup. Therefore, active drivers in MK will be unable to do double duty. The opening and closing rounds will take place on the same weekend as the Mario Kart NC races.

Accepting sign-ups!
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
User avatar
Rob Dylan
Posts: 3440
Joined: 18 May 2014, 15:34
Location: Andy Warhol's basement

Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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King Boo's Email wrote:To: (Everyone affiliated with Mario Kart)
From: King Boo
Subject: Phase 3

"Everything. Everything that has come out of my mouth up this point has been nothing but salad dressing. And you all fell for it. I am sick of you people flooding my G(oomba)-Mail about how "I'm not treating this sport seriously this and that." I'm bored of it! So let me come out and say that it should be obvious to you all that I have, and never have cared for the safety in this sport. I, King Boo, have nothing to be afraid of. Without danger, it makes this sport boring and no one likes to participate in something that's boring obviously! Though I must give credit where credit is due, you muppets helped me prolong this by electing to not do anything before the last cup of the year. Guess we're not all innocent huh?

Now I know what you people are going to do, you're gonna try to get me kicked out blah blah blah. Whatever! Have we ever thought that these casualties have come down to poor driving skills or lack there of? Perhaps that's why 18-Volt and Dribble & Spitz and even the likes of Lewis Hammerton are gone. Maybe they weren't just good enough to be racing drivers! And I'll prove it to you all! Since the rumor is already floating around, yes, I fired Nic Hammerton because I will be contesting the rest of the season to show you muppets how to drive! It's ok Nic, one of those garbage teams will hire you so they can not only be a garbage team but have a garbage driver!

You people disgust me, you don't know the art of racing and I will show you how it's done!

PS: I hope you enjoyed your crate of mayonnaise Koopra Kids....bathplug cunts!

- Yours truly, King Boo

Image
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
User avatar
Rob Dylan
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

Post by Rob Dylan »

So, it's official. Nic Hammerton is fired after one race and King Boo takes his place. Desperate times at KBM.

In completely unrelated news, the MKDA elections are being held in the summer of 2006. When the voting opens, the candidates will have 24 hours to attract voters in the Marioverse. If there's a draw or no clear majority, we'll go to a run-off. The candidates at this point are:

- King Boo (re-election)
- Mario Mario
- Para Troopa
- Chunky Kong
- Yoshisaur T. Munchakoopas
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

Post by Rob Dylan »

Formula Power Flower Line-Up Announced

Daisy von Sarasaland
Lanky Kong
Ludwig Koopa
Koops von Petalburg
Candy Kong
Toadette
Tiny Kong

These seven drivers will be the permanent runners in the series, with six of them mostly untested in Mario Kart. Daisy, as the co-runner of the series, will act as a permanent yardstick for the drivers to compare themselves against. In each round, an eighth wildcard entry has been chosen by the MIA to give a little prestige and have the runners compare themselves to some racing legends. They are as follows:

- Wario Jumpman (Rounds 1 and 8)
- Luigi Mario (Round 2)
- Bowser Koopa (Rounds 3 and 4)
- Funky Kong (Rounds 5 and 6)
- Waluigi (Round 7)

See you for the opening round soon!
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

Post by Rob Dylan »

Mario Invitational Championship Announces Line-Up

- Mario Mario
- Mario Mario Jr.
- Kritter Kremling
- Kat & Ana
- Chunky Kong
- Pauline Williams
- Foreman Spike
- Wendy O. Koopa

At least for the opening round. Mario ensures the public that all drivers will be equal and in equal machinery, ready for a true spec series and a rebirth of real and glorious racing. It will be hosted alongside the Special Cup to steal as many ratings as possible.

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King Boo doesn't Capitulate

As well as his refusal to accept the results of the recent MKDA election, King Boo has announced he is not rescinding his place at KBM as a driver, and will in fact be continuing in the driver's seat for the coming races! Backbone at last!



Scrutineering to Return?

Returning MKDA representative Yoshisaur T. Munshakoopas has been in discussions with the MIA regarding the coming changes to the rules and safety measures in Mario Kart. While details are currently scarce, it is understood that the massively unpopular scrutineering may be returning to the series in some other form...
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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Daisy brings disgrace to opening FPF Event

The first event for Formula Power Flower took place at Baby Park the other day, and it was won in very controversial circumstances when Daisy shoved Candy Kong out of the lead in an egregious move. She was promptly disqualified from the event and banned from the rest of the season by the MIA, while Toadette won. For the next round, Conker T. Squirrel will take Daisy's place, and then Mark Wiggler will adopt the spot for the remainder of the season.

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Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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Luigi wins at home for first time! Donkey Kong brings hope back to Mitsuyoshi

We had two more races over the weekend. In Formula Power Flower, Luigi was able to win from pole at his home circuit for the first time in history (something like 11 attempts in all before now), while Ludwig Koopa followed him behind the whole way for a strong second place. Problems for Conker dropped him behind the rest of the pack, while Toadette was involved with multiple other drivers in contacts on the first lap, all of which were put down as racing incidents.

In Mario Kart (on the same day as the FPF opening event), the non-championship Baby Park round took place. Bowser Jr. had pole but lost it off the line when Donkey Kong was victorious over the seven laps. A few hits between Kokkoro and Toad, for example, but otherwise nothing major. DK was the winner and Mitsuyoshi helps starve out the other, poorer teams from getting any money for 2007.

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Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

Post by Rob Dylan »

Formula Power Flower - Rounds 3 to 6

The first rounds immediately started with controversy as Lanky Kong received a race ban for a collision. Mark Wiggler was fourth in his return to racing, but last of the four finishers. Candy and Tiny Kong were fighting each other for the lead all race, with Tiny coming out on top.

However, it all fell apart for Tiny, because after taking the championship lead she had a chain of retirements. At Frappe Snowland her rival Candy took a pole and win, with Toadette second and the supersub Bombette third. Bowser Sr. made the two appearances and finished 5th. At Koopa Beach, Funky Kong appeared and dominated the event with Candy fourth and Toadette third. Koops van Petalburg finally developed some consistency around this time too, in spite of being somewhat slower than the other rookies.

Finally, at Choco Mountain Toadette became the second driver to score two victories in this series, with Lanky Kong and Ludwig Koopa on the podium. Her direct challengers weren't around, so she made herself a nice 4-point lead with two rounds to go. Other than the Lanky Kong race ban, there was no other controversy!

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Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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Star Cup

What a Cup for Donkey Kong. He was on the front row at DK Pass but messed up on Saturday everywhere else. His second place at Round 9 got him right back to the front of the pack, but really he was outshone by Dixie Kong, who has been going really well this Cup. Dixie took three poles and won both Mario Circuit and Airship Fortress. This alone won her the Star Cup and shot her up to the top of the championship, behind Kokkoro Toudou who has finally taken the lead in the championship after many years of up-and-down success. Kokkoro dominated Tick Tock Clock and managed to finally overhaul Banjo-Kazooie, who had won DK Pass. Pipsy had a middling and mediocre Cup, and has fallen far far behind her teammate. Bowser Jr. had an alright run, and with Toad scoring four consecutive retirements, he enjoyed adding some distance ahead of his two-time world champion teammate. Peach had a decent run but hasn't yet taken the lead yet.

The real and unlikely hero was Waluigi, who scored a top-five finish in every race of the cup, moving into fifth overall in the championship - a vast improvement from last year. Conker T. Squirrel along with an unlucky Larry Koopa scored three podiums! This bumped the team up to genuinely threaten RBR for fifth in the championship! Project Mario downwards have started to fall back significantly, but even King Boo and Birdette scored at Tick Tock Clock.

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Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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MarioSport Magazine - Autumn Edition 2006 wrote:Mario Mario Apologies for role in aiding DKC Junta (Exclusive Interview)

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In a remarkable about-face, the legendary two-time DKR champion and three-time Mario Kart winner Mario Mario sits down with MarioSport Magazine to discuss his role in representing and aiding the totalitarian government that has ruled Donkey Kong Country since the end of the civil war in 1981. A 22-year reign of terror gripped the country, and it only opened up its borders to international racing in the later 1990s as part of a process of "opening up" that was claimed by some as sportswashing.

"I should never have been involved in that in the first place. I made some mistakes in how Scuderia Mario turned out, and the regrets still haunt me to this day as to how I treated the staff especially. They didn't deserve that."

After Signore Mario's hiatus from Mario Kart, he worked with Donkey and the late Diddy Kong to form a racing series in their home country. Various civil war events that took place in late 1996 forced all three to work together for their own national series, using local and international drivers to bring legitimacy to the nation - as well as their own racing careers.

Mario Mario especially benefited from this arrangement, often having full de facto control over the running of Diddy Kong Racing. When the series' namesake tragically fell down three flights of stairs from his wheelchair, Mario was mysteriously removed from the series and went into a wilderness period that lasted two and a half years.

"The way I treated Diddy and Donkey was wrong. The whole arrangement was the result of various dealings that I'm not proud of, and wish I could go back and reverse. I was an integral part of that monstrous regime, and I bear some of the responsibility, which I used entirely for my own gain. I'm sorry for it."

This kind of language has not been heard from the usually vitriolic and outspoken Italian, in a long time or maybe ever. READ MORE.
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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FPF Season Finished

Waluigi took pole at Mushroom Bridge, only to be swamped off the line by Candy Kong. Candy led the race quite convincingly, while Ludwig took second place after jumping the shortcut. Some retirements down the order, but it was when Candy's kart failed that Toadette overtook Waluigi to jump up two places on the last lap. This shock turn of events took her the championship with a race to spare! A surprise for everyone.

Wario took pole position at the season finale, but he too had to retire from the lead with a puncture. Candy was among his closest competitors, but again with Tiny they both retired and took no points. Koops inherited a win with Toadette second, pushing the former into runner-up in the championship. And so ends the season! Toadette is the inaugural Formula Power Flower Champion of 2006!

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Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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MarioSport Magazine - Autumn Edition 2006 wrote:Yoshi's Killer Revealed!

In an absolutely shocking turn of events, this magazine has obtained an exclusive anonymous tip about the true killer of Yoshisaur T. Munchakoopas back in 1995. Having secretly recorded a conversation between the two of them from a few years ago, Donkey Kong has been recorded as admitting that he ordered the murder of the then-MKDA representative at Koopa Beach in the autumn of that year.

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To maintain their safety, MarioSport Magazine has gone through various court proceedings and judgements to ensure their anonymity. However, the evidence that has been presented to the courts is irrefutable. More to follow on this story as soon as we get it.

The recording states that DK's motivation was in getting revenge for his father's unjust injury. In Kong's eyes, Yoshi had used the role of MKDA representative entirely in a self-interested fashion, taking advantage of Donkey Kong Jr.'s coma to push new rules and legislation that would do nothing other than to draw power and success to himself.

With eleven years having passed (almost to the day) since the assassination, it is maybe harder to remember how much controversy the scrutineering practices of 1995 were, and how much animosity there had been to Yoshi for his actions. This does not justify murder, of course, but the motivation makes sense with DK's character, and combined with the evidence, proves indisputably that DK murdered Yoshi.

Editor's Note: it is also quite unfortunate timing, as Donkey Kong currently drives for Yoshi's Mitsuyoshi Mario Kart team in 2006 :facepalm:
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

Post by NickyDustyOwl »

To: (Everyone affliated with Mario Kart)
From: Our leader, King Boo
Subject: Project Mario

This is a message to every team and every driver in the paddock! Read this from start to finish, I mean it!

Mario Mario and his so called team have officially gotten on my nerves for the last time! It's one thing to announce your retirement more times than the amount of times you've actually won something, but now you're ordering your drivers to try and kill me? Have you lost your mushrooms?! Don't get mad at me because I was doing a better job at not only managing this sport, but also having a better team than you ever could! You're a piss poor excuse of a team owner, and even more as a person! You've officially taken this to the next level!

To every team and driver here, I want you to protest the Project Mario team! Get them banned from the paddock! And most importantly, get Mario Mario banned! Jailed! and then go piss in that stupid little hat of his! Fight against that team by any means necessary! I want that bloody team GONE!

I AM THE KING BOO! I will show you all that I am capable of managing this series!
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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In-Season NC race and news on Donkey Kong

Only three teams turned up to the race at Yoshi Circuit, which happened at the same time as the FPF finale. Project Mario, KBM, and Birdette. All three teams go into the end of the season totally broke, so the money earned from winning the race would do well to get them into 2007. In the end, Morton Koopa Jr. won the race for Birdette after a close-fought race that saw Redsaurus and King Boo crash into one another when attempting to after Morton's lead position.

Meanwhile, Donkey Kong has been arrested by the Yoshi's Island government for murder. The Koopa Kingdom has requested extradition to their kingdom, as the crime was committed there. It is understood that Yoshisaur T. Munchakoopas, the former murder victim, is lobbying his government for harsh treatment within Yoshi's Island itself. Watch this space.
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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Mario Kart - Round 13 (Wario Stadium)

Wario Stadium, the fourth-last race of the year, was not a particularly exciting event overall. We had our fourth consecutive pole position winner since Round 10, and this time it was Banjo-Kazooie. It was a much-needed win for a driver who has been quite up and down all year in terms of pace. While that has been the conclusion about most of 2006's title protagonists, the eyes are focussed primarily on Dixie Kong, who finished second with the fastest lap. That marks 28 out of 30 points earned by Dixie in three races - mightily impressive.

The most important aspect related to the championship was that Kokkoro had a dire race where she was barely capable of scoring points. She ended up 9th with no points, and proceeded to lose the championship lead. Peach, the outsider candidate, finished third and is now 8 points off of the championship lead. She still hasn't properly taken charge at the team, and in spite of her growing consistency she doesn't seem like the favourite for the championship.

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Mario Invitational Championship - Round 1

We returned to the scene of some pretty grisly racing. Five events took place at the second variant of the Donut Plains crash, and at least two of these events saw life-altering crashes. For the opening round of the Mario Invitational, Mario Mario led the race and dominated from pole, with only his son in competition. Mario Mario Jr. (as he was entered) was initially right on the back of his father, but mysteriously dropped off in the later laps 8-) Pauline Williams was the only retirement. Foreman Spike was sacked and replaced for the second round by Nicolas Hammerton.
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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Mario Mario wins Mario Invitational Championship!

Indeed it was a glorious endeavour. After the first round, Mario Mario continued his awesome run of success with another two lights to flag victories from pole. It was only at Hot Top Volcano where he was bested and beaten. After crashing out and narrowly avoiding an evil fate in the lava, he announced that the double points round was now a non-championship event, thus preventing the victorious Chunky Kong from taking the championship from him at the last moment.

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Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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Banjo-Kazooie win the 2006 Mario Kart Championship!

After they put themselves in the best possible position after Wario Stadium, it was still close running after Peach Gardens. Banjo's second place extended his lead over Dixie, but Dixie was still clearly very fast. Peach had only managed 6th and looked to be out of the championship entirely. A third place at Bowser's Castle was not enough to stay in, and Dixie lost the championship to B-K in the end after the latter won. Kokkoro, who was leading into the Special Cup, had three dreadful races in a row, and only elevated herself back to third overall with a second place at Rainbow Road. With Pipsy's points from the same races, Kokkoro would have finished the year a point behind the final champion.

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Pipsy herself ended the championship fifth, which was a vast improvement after a dreadful run of form in the first half of the season. No wins, but at least some of her reputation survived with her. Waluigi's momentum petered out, but sixth overall was a fine drive. Bowser Jr. beat his two-time world champion teammate for the first time, as Toad ended up accumulating seven consecutive retirements - equalling Birdo's run from the start of the season. Lemmy Koopa won at Peach Gardens, and then again at Rainbow Road. At only 20 years old, he's the new young star of Mario Kart it seems.

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Mario ended the season as best-placed Project Mario driver, despite only doing four races. ROB was rookie of the year, and Crygorti beat KBM. Goombella was the only full-time runner to be pointless at the end of the season.

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Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
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Re: Alt-Mario Kart 2006: The Year of Second Chances

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Awards Season

Reject of the Year award goes immediately to King Boo. Boo was the overseer of planned safety reforms that never materialised. Following the deaths of Dribble & Spitz in 2005, his young driver Eitin Boruto also died this season. Both in-race deaths in Mario Kart have been in King Boo's karts. As MKDA representative he did nothing to prevent this and threw blame at the drivers he supposedly represented. A remarkable u-turn had him claiming that danger was his intended result - this u-turn did not change his fortunes. He received one vote at the MKDA election, from himself. The rest of his year was spent in the kart itself, failing to lift his team from the bottom of the standings.

Journeyman (and woman) of the Year award goes to Banjo-Kazooie. In 2002, they were disqualified from the Mario Kart championship for reckless driving. In 2003, they barely scraped a part-time entry and didn't finish a race. In 2004, they took their first win at Waluigi Stadium, but a disqualification at Rainbow Road had them beaten by then-co-driver Para Troopa, and 13th overall. In 2005 a single win from pole at DK Pass (in a six-kart race) was all they had to show for their hard work. But in 2006, all that changed! Finally, they put a full season together, and took advantage of Mitsuyoshi inconsistency to convincingly become Mario Kart world champions. After so many development years, they look like complete drivers at the age of 38, and remain favourites for 2007 if the current plans on engine freezing go ahead.

Missed Opportunity of the Year goes to their teammate Peach Toadstool. Often heralded as one of the greatest drivers never to win a Mario Kart championship, this year was really Peach's best chance. After having the measure of her teammates and co-drivers for years, she failed to put the year together to win more than one race, and didn't even make the top 3 by Rainbow Road. She was simply outpaced by B-K and should really have been there as champion this year. Will such an opportunity come again? As she hits 41 in 2007, we doubt it.

The Luigi Mario / Toad Toadstool Memorial Choke of the Year goes to Kokkoro for the second consecutive season. She has a bizarre tendency to crash every other race, even when the initial races are dominant displays of driving perfection. With a great kart under her, she easily dominated the outgoing champion Pipsy Astromouse, but it still wasn't enough to even finish runner-up.

Redemption of the Year award goes to Waluigi, who after scoring an easy Reject of the Year in 2005, was great this year. He scored consistently and well. Luigier improved and so did his motivation. Two podiums was as many as old rival Toad got, but it was the 25 points he got just on fourths fifths and sixths that did it.

The Rising Star award goes to Lemmy Koopa, who in his three-race stint for Mitsuyoshi won two races and finished 5th in the other. He outscored his teammate by 11 points in the same timeframe. And he's only 20 years old. I think we can count Lemmy as a star of the future, wouldn't you?

The Tiredest Man in Mario Kart award goes to Toad Toadstool, who since the Red Bowser project has slowed down, appears to have lost all his motivation. Seven consecutive retirements saw him beaten by Bowser Jr. overall and led to immediate rumours that he was switching for 2007. One of the season's biggest disappointments.

The Point Not Very Well Made award goes to Redsaurus, who since being rudely kicked out of Mitsuyoshi, has since partnered with the ever-present Mario to get one over on Yoshi. However, 8 races at Project Mario yielded one point on his so-called "racing comeback". Did anybody even know he was there?

The Wasted Seat award goes to the #21 kart used by Kritter Kremling and Wiz Pig. Kremling disappointed on debut, and was sacked for a 49-year-old who was apparently just as slow. Between them they DNQd 11 times while teammate ROB single-handedly pulled the team up to 9th in the championship. With a second driver Crygorti could easily have had the measure of Birdette at least.
Murray Walker at the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix wrote:The other [Stewart] driver, who nobody's been paying attention to, because he's disappointing, is Jan Magnussen.
Felipe Nasr - the least forgettable F1 driver!
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